Saturday, October 1, 2016

Mary Worth 2407

I picked out some verses that I thought you might find helpful. Or! You COULD say, "I zeroed in on specific points for you." Because when I read the Bible, I'm always zeroing in on specific points. It helps me keep up whenever I try it.

27 comments:

Downpuppy said...

First, Genesis 19:36

Don't take it the wrong way. It's not meant to make you think of anything..

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

I zeroed in on these specific points:
Leviticus 19:19
Deuteronomy 25:11-12
Numbers 31:17-18

And most especially:
Deuteronomy 21:18-21

Anonymous said...

Iris could have saved a bunch of time if she gave Tommy "Bible for Dummies" instead.

Wanders said...
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KitKat said...

Iris has been displaying an evangelistic fervor for weeks, so this is not a surprise. Perhaps she'll take her show on the road - "Sster Iris Speaks." First stop: Santa Royale Indoor Soccer/Cake Competition Arena.

Sandi Ego said...

It appears at least one of those helpful points is in the Book of Revelations. That should get Tommy boy in a positive frame of mind.
Looking at this panel, though, all I can think is "Jesus shaves"
Sorry, it's not blasphemy if I'm Catholic, right?

Anonymous said...

Why is Tommy staring at the back cover? Maybe that's why his first attempt at understanding the Bible didn't pan out; he tried to read it backwards.

Yahoonski said...

Perhaps Sandi Ego would like to come over and help me clean up the coffee I just spewed laughing at her "Jesus Shaves" comment? Seriously, this turn to scripture is surprising. Who needs to go to the Bible for advice when you've got Mary Freakin' Worth living just down the hall?

Nighel Hamilton said...

I love reading bibles..And everytime i read the bible i feel the presence of our God.
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Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

Oh, the BIBLE! THAT'S what Iris wanted to give Tommy to help him out. Who would've thought of that? ... Oh, wait ... I did! Yesterday! It was the first in a series of possibilities. I really didn't expect the Bible to win out, though. I was really hoping for Iris to give Tommy "a cold one from the fridge." Then, they could've had a "beer summit" and--once sufficiently drunk--called Mary Worth up on the phone for her advice. So practical! So helpful! So ... oh, boy!

Anonymous said...

Anyone else get to read Wanders bible meltdown sermon this morning before he pulled down the post?

Gina said...

@Anonyomus at 3:33 -- No, missed it.

Anonymous said...

I think Iris took Matthew 5:29 literally - her eye seems to be plucked out.

Petunia said...

Time for Mary to appear and perform the miracle of the salmon squares!

Doug said...

This story line is now shifting subtly to illustrate Iris' codependency. I think she needs to find an Al-Anon meeting.

KitKat said...

Sunday

Being addicted to Vicodin is bad enough, but having a crazed, controlling mother adds fuel to the fire. Tommy Boy would be better off getting away from his mother and finding legitimate help. For one thing, maybe they'd call him Tom and treat him as an adult.

Boy, the strip has been Maryless for weeks. That's a lot of time spent giving bad advice as Ask Wendy!

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

Yes, Tommy, darling, you have to hit your addiction with everything in your arsenal! A massage from DAWN will help you forget your problems!

Anonymous said...

I've turned to the book of Stoli 4:20 to deal with this endless story.

meg said...

Who knew you could eat Alpo with chopsticks?

Kevin M said...

I glance at Mary Worth occasionally because it's right above Dilbert in my local paper, and this latest turn really has me worried -- a drug addict who doesn't cut his hair and lives with his mom gets his face shoved into a Bible to fix his life (since Bronze Age goatherds knew so much more about solving modern problems than anyone alive today). What if Tommy starts with the Old Testament, where God's chosen people wipe out whole cities for no stated reason, sometimes killing everyone "old and young, male and female" (see Jericho, for example) and sometimes killing everyone but the female virgins, who are subsequently raped? Should we expect future episodes of Mary Worth to show Tommy after he accepts ALL the teachings in the Bible, destroying cities, stoning homosexuals and adulterers and killing children?

Garnet said...

Heh. I hope she highlighted Deuteronomy 21:18-21 for him to zero in on. And then she can take him to see Mary at the gate of the town and the townspeople can end this story line once and for all.

It says:

18 If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him, 19 his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town. 20 They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.” 21 Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.

On a more serious note, at least Tommy realizes he's a loser. However, having an overbearing mother literally shoving a Bible in his face sure won't help with that problem.

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

@Garnet: Thanks for posting the text rather than just the chapter and verse! But, what do you mean "on a more serious note"? That Bible quotation was pretty intense! It really harshed my mellow! It's off to the Charterstone pool for me ... with a margarita to wash that right out of my brain!

Parents, please don't stone your children (even if they're stoned!). Just send the gluttons and drunkards over to the Charterstone pool to hang out with Mary, Toby, and me! We'll be chillin' with the tequila and the chicken salad appetizers! Toodles!

fauxprof said...

MONDAY

Today's strip is downright creepy (despite the fact that Tommy has finally shaved). The Tweedlebeedies are officially the most loathsome characters ever to inhabit the Worthiverse. They even make rhe Tee-Hee Taylors marginally acceptable. I'm not terribly religious (half-baked Catholic, for what it's worth), but the injection of the Bible into their dysfunctional relationship is offensive. Hey, I want to snark on this blog, not rant! Please, give me something I can base a song parody on.

KitKat said...

As usual, the thoughts of @fauxprof mirror mine (I just wish I was as eloquent as she!). Where is Karen Moy going with this? The only past mention of anything religious I recall is the Bible study group Tommy was in in prison, and that barely registered. Isn't the only higher power in this strip Mary Worth?

What if the Tweedlebeedies were Buddhists, or Muslims, or some other faith? Or agnostic, or atheist? Dawn Weston's Evil Twin is right, back to cake-baking competitions, pool parties, and chicken salad appetizers!

Anonymous said...

Iris - "Tommy, you need to face your demons. Now take this bible and two dollars down to Jerrys. Sit down in a booth and order his 99 cent bottomless cup of coffee as you read. After the 8th or 9th cup, your colon is going to believe it can find religion after weeks of stoppage by releasing the demons. When the time is right, be sure to go to the men's room to exact a biblical sized revenge on Jerry with an accident (excorsism).

Oh, and remember to tip Jerry and say hi for me."

DWET said...

Wow, today's strip ... GROSS! What's next, will Iris appear in costume as the Queen of Diamonds, just in time for the election?

meg said...
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