Mary Worth 485

SPOILER ALERT!

YES! YES! YES! Those cops DO have a steering wheel in the back seat of their car. It is the latest gadget in criminal justice technology. This way, the criminals think you're driving away when you're actually chasing them. Which is ultimately what did Ted in. But I'm getting ahead of myself...

It's been a crazy week in Santa Royale, California. Adrian arrived in the seedy, dark side of town just in time to find her fiance running off with his car tucked under his arm. His excuse? His sister needed him right away.

When luring the big con, you want to pick a sucker who is clueless enough to take the bait, but not so clueless that she pulls you out of the boat and into the lake. Even now, Adrian can't fathom why Ted could possibly be getting out of town as fast as possible.

Ultimately, it is her final pleading face touch that delays Ted's departure just long enough for two of Santa Royale's Finest to show up with their really cool lapel badges and read Ted's rap sheet in public. "Hey, listen everybody! Dr. Corey is dating a bigamist!"

Not only is he a liar, a thief and a bigamist, but he's also a DEAD BEAT DAD!

Take him away, boys!

Mary Worth 1,154

There's gratitude for you. Gina leaves Diner in a lurch without her sick waitress skillz, and not so much as a how-dee-do to Mary Worth for guiding her to destiny. Is it any wonder that Mary is left with nothing but a face touch and an exclamation point?

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 982

Double Face Touch! Double Awesome!

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 3963

Definite Mary Worth meddling vibes here. It's been a while since we've had a good face touch. This one is great. It violates so many ethical codes. "Sniff."

Mary Worth 1,095

Holy cow! Triple Face Touch! I think that's a new record. And it's a good thing they all touched their faces -- otherwise, how else would we know they were scared.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 602

For example, we couldn't possibly predict that my face is about to slide off my head. But I'm ready to catch it when it does. And then I can touch my face all the time by just carrying it around with me.

Today's Full Strip

Mary Worth 605

Adrian, you'll be an even bigger mess if that top-heavy medical equipment tips over and lands on your head.

I know some of you have started playing the "Face-Touching Adrian" drinking game, and I want to ask you to cease and desist immediately. Today's double touch - first Scott's face, then her own - is just making things way too dangerous. You'll die of cirrhosis of the liver before Scott kicks the bucket from his bullet wounds... unless boredom kills you first.

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Mary Worth 87

I know I shouldn't be so uncomfortable with the whole touching thing...

...touching is part of the human experience. We touch our faces, our friends, people who are trying to eat... it is part of who we are... but, I'm just not comfortable with today's cartoon. Especially when Toby does the old butt crack thing with her palm against her face. That always gives me the giggles. I'm going to go shower now.

Mary Worth Adventures #453

If you notice a lot of underage drunks roaming about, it's because of their new drinking game: They take a shot every time Adrian or Ted touch the other's face. I understand that this game can ease the pain of reading Karen Moy's inane dialogue, but please stop, before your liver explodes.

Is that a soul patch under Ted's lip?

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