"Agent Miller, Agent Bryson, I have received your next assignment from Technology Head Quarters. I have unfolded it. When I point my hairy hand at you, I will read your mission to you. Listen carefully because after I read your assignments, we will eat the message. Then you can go home and awkwardly kiss."
"Terry, Please! I moved across the country and into your apartment building after not seeing you for eight years because I want to TALK to you!"
"Now, tag, you're it! You find me. But remember, count to eight years so I have enough time to hide. I go a little slow with this cane."
"I never meant to hurt you, but you had me hanging by my throat off the 32nd floor balcony of the Washington D.C. Hotel. I had to use my Death Ray. I knew your super powers would protect you, but I don't HAVE super powers. I only have my highly developed sense of intelligence, and the ability to disguise myself by graying my hair at will. Please, Terry ... or should I say, Teflon Girl? ... I'm crying a river, here."
"Adam, what are you doing out of prison? Has it been ten years already, or did you get two years off for charming behavior? I've told you a million times, I will never date a super villain."
In honor of Adam Miller getting out of prison, I'm adding Tie a Yellow Ribbon to the ol' Charterstone Jukebox.
Seven years ago, Terry Bryson appeared in a public service announcement about online scams that was arguably the longest two weeks in Mary Worth history. Terry Bryson appears to still favor old timey brief cases, although she has traded concrete for wood, and I'm guessing she is no longer wearing a Star Trek ensign uniform under that overcoat, but has been promoted to lieutenant. I, for one, couldn't be more pleased. I assume this will be a public service announcement about not dating super villains.
One perk is we have flower fairies who enjoy playing tricks like rearranging the luggage on your hand truck.
The world IS a dangerous place when Batman keeps punching you in the face every time you try to use your Death Ray.
The last time we saw Scott Hewlettt, he was driving off with Dr. Adrian Cory-Hewlett to their Local Honeymoon Destination. They haven't been seen for four years. I'm glad to hear he's since recovered from his gunshot wound. Unlike you, Adam Miller, who is still disabled. Love healed Scott. It can heal you too.
"I was in ::cough-cough:: 'law enforcement.'" That's one way to put it. Without Super Villain Adam Miller and his ilk, an entire segment of the industry would be unemployed. #JusticeLeagueofAmerica
Work related? Yeah, Adam Miller was trying to destroy the universe and Batman threw him out a window.
As Mary Worth deride's Adam for his lack of worldly wealth, his eyes burn with a white hot rage and contemplate where he will aim his Death Ray first.
"Hey, Mr. Miller, you shouldn't be moving that luggage yourself. We have an Italian who can help with that."
"What are those strange looking birds on those barren dusty hills, Grandma?"
"I don't know Gordy. Maybe if you had remembered to bring your electronic tablet, you could have looked them up. How can you learn anything if you don't have a gadget in your hand?"
"I was impressed with your iron grip, Mary, but now look how far I've come. I barely even cry when you clamp down on my fingers like that."
Dr. Jeff Cory, M.D., former Chief of Staff slash Big Wig, apparently felt entitled to enter the hospital without following established protocol. Protocols he no doubt enforced as Chief of Staff! Such callous disregard for the health and safety of the patients at Mountview Hospital was so typical under Cory's lax rule. It's a good thing a zealot like Mary Worth showed up and brought standards up to current board of health guidelines. "Now how's about a little kiss, candy striper?"
And can I just mention how relieved I am to see lush carpet at the Bum Boat. So many upscale dining restaurants have gone hardwood, or ceramic tile, and they get so loud you can't have a decent conversation. And this is definitely a decent conversation.
Okay, Jeff. You still aren't making any sense, but I don't blame you for getting distracted when you notice Mary has six fingers on her right hand.
Oh, Jeff, you aren't even listening. But it sounds nice, and dinner will be over in less than an hour, and you can get back to your fund raising. Hang in there, buddy.
Did the Bum Boat open a second location? Because this is a completely different ambiance. The paneled walls have always been floor to ceiling, and the stuffed fish have never been mounted on a plaque. And what's with the giant picture of the fork and whatever is next to it? I hope that next time Mary needs to catch Jeff up on her greatness, that they'll choose the original Bum Boat. I much prefer it.
Mary, as I recall, you were the one who forced Hanna to stop driving. It's only been six months, and already you've forgotten. These last six months have been an absolute joy, watching Hanna go from a frustrated 80-somthing menace, to a blissful, 60-something bride. And as I always say, "If Matchmaker Mary can't get you married, you're hopeless." Yup, I always say that about good ol' Matchmaker Mary. Seriously.
You really don't need to change a thing, for at least a week! I mean, why would you? Doesn't everybody hang their art adjacent to their acoustic ceiling tiles?
So Gordy came over to grandma's and plopped himself on the floor with some sort of electronic device, while his ma and grandma talked. He really is adjusting well to his new grandad, whom he hasn't met, and probably doesn't even realize he has.
But he does have one thing in common with Sean. Neither is helping with Hanna's move.
It looks like we are finally going to find out how heavy those grey concrete books are.
This is my 2,000th Mary Worth post, and while it feels like a milestone, I can't help but remember that every post I've written was inspired by a comic strip written by Karen Moy and drawn by Joe Giella. Even though I don't post every day, they do.
While some people mock, I am absolutely delighted by this comic strip. I may crack a joke or two at its expense, but I assure you that my only motivation is the absolute glee I feel each morning when I see what Moy and Giella have come up with.
I have tried to create a blog that reflects that sense of delight. From the Charterstone Jukebox, to the annual Worthy Awards, I've tried to make this blog a place that I enjoy visiting, and I hope that others have fun here too.
Which brings me to you, dear reader. Once in a while, after I post, I'll scroll down to the Live Traffic Feed widget and see where visitors are visiting from. I'll see many cities that I recognize, even places where I've lived, like Cincinnati, Ohio; Boston, Massachusetts; and Palo Alto, California. I'll also see places that I don't know, and I wonder about them and the reader who lives there, places like Lawnton, Pennsylvania; Elyria, Ohio; and Greenacres, Florida.
Then I will read your comments, and I will laugh out loud (which stands for LOL) and think, "They're having as much fun as me!" Yes, there are regular commenters like fauxprof, and KitKat, and Chester the Dog... (I'm sorry for not mentioning everyone!), but then there will be those who post for the first time, and I think, "Oh, I'm so glad they felt like they could post a comment," and then there are the mysterious Anonymous posters, and I wonder who you are, and what deep dark secrets you are hiding (email your secrets to maryworthandme@gmail.com).
And then someone will actually follow the Charterstone Jukebox on Spotify, or drop twenty bucks in the rehabilitation jar, and I'm amazed because to me that represents real commitment.
This site evolved when I started a personal blog in 2007 and I noticed that when I wrote something about myself, it just sort of sat there, but when I posted a comment about Mary Worth, people were actually reading and responding. So I created this blog that's more about Mary Worth than it is about me.
I hope you'll continue to share the Amazing Adventures of Mary Worth with me. I hope that whatever your personal circumstances may be, that you'll find Mary Worth and Me a place of delightful agony.
Your pal,
Wes Andersen (aka Wanders)
Today's Full Strip
(Warning: it contains more packing)
