Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the SEVENTH ANNUAL WORTHY AWARDS! Santa Royale's elite have gathered to celebrate the best of all things Mary Worth. But most importantly, the Condo Board has tabulated YOUR votes -- thousands of votes -- to determine this year's outstanding achievements.
But to get things started, what awards show would be complete without an OPENING NUMBER! Ladies and Gentlemen, put your hands together for the Edsels and their 1961 smash hit Rama Lama (Hanna) Ding Dong!
Each year, we begin by awarding the Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award to one lucky Mary Worth character who died this year. And so we are thrilled to present the award to Olive Taylor who -- wait, I'm sorry, what's that? It seems Olive was saved at the last minute by Mary Worth and has failed to qualify for the Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award this year.
That means that this year's prize goes to our runner up, the patient that Doctor Kapuht lost on the operating table. Congratulations! Just think, Olive. It could have been you!
And now, on to our awards.
The nominees for outstanding performance by a guest character are:
And the Worthy goes to:
He killed a patient, and he abused the hospital's heroine supply! By all means, let's give him a prize!
The nominees for outstanding performance by a floating head are:
And the Worthy goes to:
There's always room for Wilbur Weston, no matter how tight the squeeze!
The nominees for outstanding performance by an established character are:
And the Worthy goes to -- ladies and gentleman -- this is a complete surprise!
Ian Cameron: Ah wisnae expectin' thes at aw. Is it alrecht if Ah make a speech? First aff, Ah want tae thenk mah brammer guidwife. Withit 'er support, Ah ne'er woods hae hud th' coorage tae return tae th' strip. Mah skitin' kept me frae bein' able tae utter a single line. An' when Ah finally got behin' th' wheel ay a motur, Ah nearly got in a wreck. If eh'd hae burst Hana, aam sure eh'd hae gain tae jail as mah bluid toxicity level wisnae guid. But aam aicht days sober, thenks tae th' support ay mah bonnie guidwife, an' th' meddlin' ay Mary Worth. An' Ah hiner an' pray 'at Karen Moy will gezz meh anither chance! Ah willnae lit ye doon.
Thank you Ian... Thank you. You may return to your seat. No, this way. Yes, we're all very proud of you and hope we get to see much more of you in the future. No, that's fine. You keep that. Just follow this lady back to your folding chair. That's the way.
And now, the nominees for Panel of the Year are:
And the Worthy for Outstanding Panel of the Year goes to:
The panel of the year is always a fan favorite, and usually features some sort of nudity, so it is a real thrill that tonight, modesty has prevailed!
And now, the moment we have all been waiting for, the nominees for Outstanding Story of 2014 are:
And the Worthy Award goes to:
It's been a magical evening and a very exciting year for Mary Worth and Friends. Thank you for being a part of tonight's celebration! If you haven't had a chance to become a citizen of Santa Royale by following this blog, please take a moment to sign up now! It's completely free and comes with too many perks to mention.
Here's looking forward to a new year of lots of adventures and excitement!