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For those of you who, like me, literally said out loud, “Whose Estelle?” this morning, she’s the older but stunningly attractive widow who went online to meet a man. After dating seven or eight losers and getting taken for ten grand by a scam artist, her expectations and self-esteem were so low that when Wilbur came along, he actually looked pretty good. She invited him over to sing the Pina Colada song. 

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The winner of tonight's mystery meat contest is Jeffrey Corbin who guessed "some kind of beef."

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“You’ll get other chances, Mary. Dad’s super lazy and enjoys getting paid for your work.”

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For a such a non-descript food item, it is so oddly and consistently specific. Mary washes it down with a highball. Dawn washes it down with a cone of rose water. So much to love about this panel except the words, which fill me with dread. 

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“Yes... she survived, but she lost $10,000, and the relationship has scarred her for life.” 

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“... And your long distance friends, and your long distance parents...”

Greetings from Disneyland U.S.A

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Always serve your kelk cake from the cool end of the pan.

Yesterday, my cell phone served up an ad for an app and I was able to capture this screenshot:

I took it as a sign. I’ve added Carrie Underwood to the Charterstone Jukebox. Congratulations, Carrie.

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You’ll remember that I long ago predicted this whole Hugo thing would result in a Cosette-styled unwanted pregnancy. I know you can’t get pregnant “doing long distance,” but we don’t know what happened after Hugo returned from the airport.  Mary’s so happy she’s made a cake to celebrate, instead of muffins to mourn. 

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So, where are you planning to spend the night?

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“My flight is delayed, but I wanted to make sure you understand that our relationship is over.”

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We were joking yesterday when said Hugo was back. It was a joke because that would be the cruelest outcome of all to make us sit through more French/English dialog. Also, I’ve seen Sabrina. But after this scene, the movie ends. We in Santa Royale, on the other hand, are now stuck with these two dweebs dragging it out even further. 

Now I wish my brother really had thrown me off the cliff at Sundance Mountain Resort. 

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Am I the only one who has completely lost any appetite for muffins whatsoever? I see muffins in restaurants and grocery stores and I am physically repulsed.

But what if this isn’t Mary and her predicted muffins. What if this is Hugo who decided France just wasn’t as great as he remembered. Not without Dawn.

Mrs. Wanders and I made it to Utah on Wednesday in the little 1997 Subaru Impreza that we are passing down from our oldest daughter to our son in college. We had a great day, but we have more travels ahead.

By the by the way, while I’m traveling I’m posting these using a cell phone. It isn’t easy. Don’t get too worked up over typos, grammar and bad auto corrections. 

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I finally connect to the hotel WiFi and see that Dawn is still crying. In the past, she has self-medicated with ice cream or muffins. I wonder what her comfort food of choice will be this time. 

Speaking of comfort food, if you’re ever in Grand Island, Nebraska, I recommend Tommy’s Family Restaurant. (The story of why we were there is too grizzly to include in this family friendly blog.) 

South Bend, Indiana

I thought of many of you as we drove through Ohio yesterday. I can’t get today’s comics to load properly, and we need to hit the road, so I thought I’d share this:

We spent the night in a Holiday Inn Express in South Bend, Indiana, where Housekeeping has a great sense of humor:

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“Je regrette tellement. I regret so much.” If I haven’t learned how to use Google Translate by now, then what was the point of this story?

During the next couple of weeks, Mrs. Wanders and I will be driving across the country, visiting family and going to Disneyland. I’m not bringing a laptop, and creating these posts on my phone is kind of tricky. So I may not be posting every day. Secret messages are especially hard so don’t count on those. And there may be more Me than Mary Worth here for a couple of weeks, especially if we come across any roadside attractions. 

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I love that many of us still remember fondly that spring day in March 2012 when a magical hobo changed Nola Wolvenson's life. Please Dawn, please have the same epiphany!

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Okay, I’m guessing this guy will tell her about the family he left behind in a civil war somewhere who he’ll never see again, and Dawn will be comforted that she still has her Dad in her life and we can then move on. Please, let us love on.

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What good is being able to read your mind, when your thoughts are all in French!

Now it's time for a POOL PARTY!

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Dawn is now quoting Le Cid by the French tragedian Pierre Corneille. This story is definitely a tragedy, but not for the reasons the author imagines.

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When you lick it, you can taste the ocean.

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So suddenly we're worried about being "Realistic?" It's a bit late for that I think.

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Regret? Like going to lunch at a French restaurant at the mall?

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"I thought you loved me, Dawn. And yet, you haven't heard a word I've said all summer long. EVERYTHING IS BETTER IN FRANCE! Vive la France!"

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"Did I say that out loud? I'm sorry, Hugo, I meant to only think it. I'll go back to expressing my feelings only in thought."