Mary Worth 3739

"And when we get there, remember, if you see any chicks, magnetize them!"

Mary Worth 3738

Oh, I think "Pee-air" was fortuitous enough.

New song on the jukebox: "I Made a Mistake" by the Impressions.

Mary Worth 3737

Also, your dog is a vampire.

Mary Worth 3736

Watch out for magnitized chicks! Here they come!

Mary Worth 3735

Well, you've certainly answered all of our screening questions. Congratulations, enjoy your dog. And congratulations to you, Pierre... and good luck!

Mary Worth 3734

"I am willing to say anything, and hand you this expensive, fragile, living animal to take home, right now, no questions asked, just to get you out of here."

Mary Worth 3733

Wilbur must secrete some sort of strange pheromone that warns women he's single. I mean this woman wouldn't just assume someone is single, would she? She's more professional than that, isn't she? And then her response to his unthreatening moment of hope, assuming he is somehow hitting on her? I don't think I like her very much. No wonder she gets along with dogs so well.

What's going on!?

8:05 AM Eastern: I have been unable to access the Comics Kingdom site for two days. This is a tragedy. How will I ever know what is going on?? You miss two days of Mary Worth and you will never catch up!

3:07 PM Eastern: Well, I've hacked into the SeattlePI.com site - what does PI stand for? And here is the money panel for you:

I weep for women and dogs everywhere.

Mary Worth 3731

"Maybe having a dog will bring out the caring side a ME buried under all this muscle and crooner's good looks."

Mary Worth 3730

Yes, Wilbur! Every dog owner is happy all the time. And they always find love. You should run down to the pet store right now and pick out a dog! They're lots of fun, and oh so easy!

(Please note: This is a joke. In no way do I condone casual and irresponsible dog ownership. I know some of you will find today's strip and my response triggering, so I just want to make that clear. Capisce?)

Mary Worth 3729

Very inspiring! Well, not so inspiring when you realize that the absolute only thing Saul and Eve have in common is that they like to dress their dogs with matching neckware.

Mary Worth 3728

In fact, DOGS ARE GOOD!

Mary Worth 3727

Dawn, having learned while dating Hugo that long-distance relationships are doomed, has moved to Tucson while Jared works his physicians assistant job in Santa Royale. I'm sure it's going fine. 600 miles isn't nearly as far away as France. What could possibly go wrong?

Mary Worth 3726

First of all I missed this gem yesterday:

Wilbur tried to meet girls at the dog beach. They were all dogs. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Sound the trumpets! Mary's gonna Meddle! A variety of muffins sounds very promising.

Mary Worth 3725

Good call, Saul. You do not want to be responsible for Wilbur's next addiction.

Mary Worth 3724

Here's another reason why Wilbur sucks. Two-faced. Lips together, teeth apart. Hates everyone and cats.

At least he treats Saul politely despite his inner disgust. The truth is, just before this encounter, Saul was thinking, "Here comes that buffoon, Fatty Weston. That bald pile of horsefeathers is going to rain on my parade. Better keep Greta clear; I hear he hates animals now."

Mary Worth 3723

Something tells me we've been here before....

Same walk, same step, totally different attitude.

Mary Worth 3722

It was either that, or a worthless 220 pound animal.

Mary Worth 3721

I know you're thinking Adele, but I'm thinking Maggie Clive:

Mary Worth 3720

Wilbur used to be sympathetic. Then he was pathetic. Now he's psychopath-etic.

Mary Worth 3719

Wilbur, don't make this more awkward than it needs to be. She chose her cat over a dog. She's choosing a six-day migraine over you.