Mary Worth 609

Adrian's eerie fantasy of her future life married to the specter of her deceased fiance is gruesome Halloween fun. Well done. I shall have nightmares for sure.

Speaking of Halloween, last night we had a campfire in the backyard and made S'mores and listened to spooky stories. I was so excited to find one of my favorite childhood records available for MP3 Download: Alfred Hitchcock's Ghost Stories for Young People- a collection of spooky stories that aren't too scary for kids (well, maybe the first one). I downloaded it right away, and we listened to it as we sat around the campfire. Mrs. Wanders and I loved it more than our little Wanderers, but they still had lots of fun.

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Mary Worth 608

Except for $50,000. That part of what Ted did was definitely not with me.

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Mary Worth 607

For days, Adrian has been raising Scott's bed, then lowering it, then raising it. But today, she's actually lowered the mattress to the floor so she can climb on top of Scott while she waits for him to go either way. Because there's nothing like 114 pounds of weight pressing down on fresh bullet wounds.

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Mary Worth 606

In keeping with the Halloween spirit, Adrian has married a corpse. Perhaps her magical doctoring can bring him back to life.

In keeping with Adrian's love for a dead man, I'm adding B.O.C.'s "Don't Fear the Reaper" to the jukebox... just for Halloween. MORE COWBELL!

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Mary Worth 605

Adrian, you'll be an even bigger mess if that top-heavy medical equipment tips over and lands on your head.

I know some of you have started playing the "Face-Touching Adrian" drinking game, and I want to ask you to cease and desist immediately. Today's double touch - first Scott's face, then her own - is just making things way too dangerous. You'll die of cirrhosis of the liver before Scott kicks the bucket from his bullet wounds... unless boredom kills you first.

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Mary Worth 604

Cheer up, dad, I'll be okay. It was me you were concerned about, right? Because I distinctly heard the narrator say you shared my concerns.

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Mary Worth 603

Well, Mary Worth, you promised us a story, and girl did you deliver.

"LOVE IS THE GREATEST GIFT"

A story of love and courage

by Mary Worth
I loved a wonderful man years ago, before I met your father! ... When I was young and had a lot to learn. Whenever we disagreed, I wouldn't speak to him for weeks! ... I realized only later how LIFE CAN TURN ON A DIME! Life has many twists and turns. It's sometimes IMPOSSIBLE to predict what's going to happen! Back then, I didn't realize how lucky I was! ... I realized only later, after he was gone, that LOVE IS THE GREATEST GIFT we can ever be given! As imperfect as I was, I loved a great man... and I am a better person for it. I was in love, but I didn't fully know what that meant when I was young... After he was gone, I realized what a GIFT I was given.

What a story! Remarkable characters (including "A great man"), heart-wrenching character development (evolving from "I had a lot to learn" to "I am a better person for it."), and plot twists that "turn on dime!" It's one of the greatest stories of our time. Such a well constructed tale, but clearly way above my head; I couldn't understand a word of it.

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Mary Worth 602

For example, we couldn't possibly predict that my face is about to slide off my head. But I'm ready to catch it when it does. And then I can touch my face all the time by just carrying it around with me.

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Mary Worth 601

Actually, this sounds exactly how you treat Jeff now...

If Mary's story ends with her boyfriend dying, I'm not sure this is going to be much of a comfort to Adrian. But it sure would be fantastic from my point of view.

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Mary Worth 600

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that we are in for a delight. A Mary Worth story is always AWESOME! I can't tell you how excited I am. Almost as excited as when Lynn Griffin explained why she passed out on the ice...

... or when Mary explained the origins of her compulsion to help others.

Yes indeed, this is going to ROCK!

Meanwhile, Scott lies on his deathbed. But at least Adrian has stopped worrying about how Scott's potential murder might impact her prospects for love.

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Mary Worth 599

Well in that case, don't talk to him. Sit here. Maybe he can read your mind.

This isn't the first time Mary has expressed her belief that unconscious people are listening.
Perhaps that is why we don't need to be conscious to enjoy Mary Worth.

I think I'd like to celebrate something great. Every once in a while, I get a mail order catalog from Harriet Carter. Best. Catalog. Ever. There isn't a condo at Charterstone that isn't on their mailing list. Featured this week?
The Wonder Hanger



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Mary Worth 598

Knowing that her negative, self-sabotage has wrought nothing but failure in Adrian's life, Mary Worth quickly attempts to stop the words with a swift, stifling hand over Adrian's mouth, but she's too late. The words are spoken. Scott's fate is sealed.

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Mary Worth 597

Although Jeff was clearly heading out the door yesterday, he's returned to hold vigil and listen to some tunes on the hospital's awesome stereo system.

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Mary Worth 596

This week, Jeff has given us a wonderful monologue that you can use at this Thursday's audition for "Our Town" at the Actors Theatre of Greater Metropolitan Santa Royale.

"Stay, Scott, Stay."

A Mary Worth Monologue
by Karen Moy

SETTING: A hospital room. Scott Hewlett lies dying of gunshot wounds, his head wrapped in a tourniquet, his arm in a sling. A Band-Aid brand bandage adheres quietly to his neck. State-of-the-art stereo equipment circles silently around the room. Jeff Corey, M.D., sits at Scott's bedside.

JEFF: Adrian told me you proposed! If your father were alive, he would give you both his blessing! You have mine. I'm glad you came into my daughter's life... please stay. You've made Adrian very happy. She loves you, and she deserves a partner like you... moral, kind, smart... Someone who appreciates her for who she is. You have so much to live for, Scott... You and Adrian have a beautiful future ahead of you! I'm so glad you came into my daughter's life! You brought her back to herself! She couldn't have picked a better partner. (He quietly fondles Scott's pinkie.) PLEASE... STAY.

Mary Worth 595

I love my father-in-law. In fact, he's been visiting for the last couple of days and we've had a lot of fun. However, if this morning I had woken up to see him sitting at my bedside, espousing my virtues and how much my wife deserves someone like me, I would have screamed. Of course, I would have been flattered. But I still would have screamed.

Mary Worth 594

Quietly, while no one is looking, Dr. Corey gives Scott a wider course of antibiotics.

For those of you who are new to Mary Worth and don't understand why this is HILARIOUS, here's some help.

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Mary Worth 593

Joe Giella is going to draw this strip forever! He's in his eighties and still in perfect, perfect health. Obviously, he hasn't been in a hospital since he had his tonsils removed during the Great Depression and he had to share a room with "Squeaky" Thompson who broke his arm falling out of tree. Of course, in those days, he wouldn't have had that awesome sound system that keeps rolling around Scott's room.

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Mary Worth 592

Clearly Adrian has been preparing for the worst. Yesterday we discovered that she had removed her ring again.

First, there were all kinds of ironic foreshadows, indicating Jeff's days were numbered. "We have our whole lives together." "If I died tomorrow, I'd be a happy man." "I'm so happy I could step in front of a moving bus!"

Now there's all this indication that we should be worried about his dying, "We should prepare for the worst." "It could go EITHER WAY." Which Moy would normally use to surprise us when he lives. So I really don't know which way this goes - it could go EITHER WAY.

My best bet is that because no vital areas were damaged, he lives (although he was apparently shot in the head given the tourniquet on his skull). But he is permanently crippled and lives the rest of his life in that sling under the watchful care of the Doctors Corey.

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Mary Worth 591

Mary's claim that she's right behind Jeff, when she's actually right in front of him is remarkably consistent with every other element of their relationship.

Mary Worth 590

So many answers in today's strip. First, discovering that Mary is actually trapped behind the looking glass made so much sense. Does anyone remember the Lost in Space episode where Penny and her sister fall into a magic mirror and are living behind the mirror watching everybody? That was almost as awesome as Mary Worth. But to make things even better, Mary can actually see her body snatcher taking over her life. Horrors. This explains why she and Jeff have been zombie-ing it over to Mountview Hospital. Of course, yesterday, Jeff made the fatal mistake of displaying emotion, but I am certain that in the interim, Mary has snatched him and he is a pod person now as well. If this story is anywhere near as exciting as Invasion, we're in for a great time!

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Mary Worth 589

Jeff is so mad he can hardly contain himself. He's driving almost 40 mph! After days of restraint ("Scott's been shot. Please pass the marmalade."), Jeff finally permits his emotions to boil over. "Boo hoo hoo. Boo hoo. My fragile, vulnerable, young daughter finally finds a boyfriend I can love, and - Waaaah! - he gets himself shot. How could he do this to my Adrian? I'm gonna kill that jerk, if he lives."

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Mary Worth 588

You'll owe another debt of gratitude in about three minutes when you get pulled over for wearing your seat belt around your throat.

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Mary Worth 587

I'm just having trouble establishing time and space in Mary Worth this week. In yesterday's strip, Jeff got a call from Adrian. It appears to be morning now, so Adrian waited until sun-up to call her dad who was having a formal breakfast with Mary. Jeff took the call on a cell phone, which means they aren't at his house, and it is clear today they aren't at Charterstone. Judging by the door handle in today's strip, it looks like they are sneaking out the back door of La Rosa, which makes sense because its breakfast buffet includes an immensely popular omelet station. Regardless, hours have passed since Dr. Good, in anguish and despair, resigned Scott's fate over to divine providence. I guess all this is to say, "Scott isn't dead yet?"

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Wanders Jr. Meets a Rotary Phone

One of Mary Worth's favorite props is a telephone. When this strip first started, Mary had to ask the operator to connect her to the local exchange. Now, she has a hip little gray pocket phone.

This afternoon I was editing some family videos and came across this short clip of my nine-year-old son intrigued by a rotary phone he encountered at the Mark Twain museum in Hannibal, Missouri.

Mary Worth 586

Since no one can come up with a diagnosis, I wouldn't hold out for a prognosis. I mean, really, what diagnosis have we heard? He was in a shoot out. He lost a lot of blood. "Vital areas" were spared. "It could have been worse," which translates roughly into, "He isn't dead yet." But perhaps Dr. Good and the nurse are simply using language they know Dr. Corey can understand.

It also appears that someone may have surgically stitched a hand to Scott's right hip. But it isn't likely, since I doubt Dr. Good has that much skill as a surgeon. The best he's been able to do is put a Band-Aid on Scott's neck, hook his brain up to a bottle, and wrap something around his head that looks like he was tended to at the Battle of Gettysburg. Fortunately, Dr. Corey will be monitoring Scott's condition. We can all rest easy now.

Of course, Eva, who decided to completely neglect her patients, may have some concerns that her patients are now being completely neglected by Adrian.

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Mary Worth 585

I was reading comments made this morning before I had the chance to write this post, and while Adrian deals with this extremely surprising bit of news, I feel the need to explain to many of you who Dr. Brian Good is, since everybody thought it was some kind of pun about his qualifications as a doctor, which of course it isn't. Before Aldo Kelrast, and long before I started blogging, there was Anna Tieg. Anna connected on the Interwebs with her old high school boyfriend, Brian Good. Anna flushed every time she thought about this stud, but she knew he was married. It was good ol' Mary Worth who suggested that Anna start writing to Brian. Well, before you knew it, Brian revealed that he and his wife were getting a divorce. Whether Anna prompted his decision, I'm not sure. Soon, true love blossomed in very sickening ways, and he and Anna were married. They even made a recent appearance at a pool party with their spawn. So you decide whether you think Dr. Good is good or not. Right now, I'm thinking even he won't be good enough to save Scott Hewlett. Maybe Adrian will start sending emails to Dr. Good after Scott dies, and Dr. Good can get another divorce.

For those of you who are new to the blog, don't forget to read your FREE secret messages, by holding your cursor over each image.

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