Sunday, May 4, 2008

Mary Worth 189

Oh, Ron. It's over. You blew it. You let Mary Worth put her Puppetmaster touch on you. By simply placing her hand within inches of your spinal cord, she is able to transfer her will to your brain and overrule your self-determination. You are now merely her puppet.

It's already happening. From here on out, you'll agree to any suggestion Mary implants in your brain. Yes, they did love each other very much. Yes, my brother and I do fight a lot. Yes, we would like to come to dinner.

And with one final mesmerizing suggestion, Mary has completed the osmotic transfer of her own will over yours. Oh, Ron, at least you no longer need to waste time debating ancient philosophical questions such as, "Am I free to choose, or do I only think I am free to choose?" The answer now is, "Neither."


shandyowl said...

You're right Mary, these aren't the droids we're looking for.

shandyowl said...

Also, the enormous burden of guilt that you have placed on my shoulders is crushing me. My brother is likewise distraught and we have put aside our differences and agreed to pull the plug on our mother then kill ourselves. All thanks to you, Mary.

Now you will inherit everything, but with my final breath I curse you!

Anonymous said...

Is ... Ron fantasizing about his mother and father getting to ... first base?

I .. I think he is. I think Ron is fantasizing about his mother, and his father, and any combination of above-the-clothes stroking betwixt the two.

The words! The words, they have failed me!

... unless that's Richard. In that case it's fine. Carry on, good seed!