Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Mary Worth 204

This might be a good opportunity to remind everyone that this is a family-friendly blog. I love comments; I think they have become the best part of this blog. But please don't make me moderate them. I know what you're thinking, but please, control yourself.

I admit, though, that Ron is making me uncomfortable. It's just weird that the only person he has spoken with throughout the entire wake, funeral and potluck, has been Mary - a woman with whom he's had a grand total of two prior conversations. He's totally snubbed all his real friends. He wants something - probably a new mommy. Within three weeks, he'll have convinced Mary to adopt him and keep him supplied with casseroles, coffee and pies.


shandyowl said...

My goodness! What a difference a preposition makes - the first time I read this I missed the "on" with all of its salacious implications.

This is all getting somewhat racy; before we know it Mary will be letting her hemline rise far enough up to allow a glimpse of ankle!

I think that I need to go and lie down in a darkened room with a cold compress on my forehead.

boojum said...

O come on, wanders! You're killing us!

Consider what's been happening:

Ron invites Mary to his mother's funeral. They meet; they dance. Then we get five days of Mary reaching out -- physically -- to Ron in his manly, manly grief. And what dialogue has accompanied all this, you ask?

MARY (in her best Joey Tribiani voice): "So, How are you doing?"
RON: "I'm having a hard time."
MARY: "Ron, I'm available."
RON: "Thanks, Mary. Let's go inside now."
MARY: "Think of the good times."
RON: "Can I call on you later?"
MARY: "Of course, Ron."

And we’re not supposed to SAY anything? What are you, made of stone?!

Well, I for one know filth when I see it.

Anonymous said...

This is a case of Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy. Mother-figure Mary is there to create a sense of loss in the Amalfi brothers by reminding them of their own dead mother's love -- in front of her own corpse, no less -- so that Ms. Worth can then fulfill her own, selfish emotional meddling needs.

Once she's created a sense of dependence in the boys on her as a substitute for their mother Donna, Mary will then pervert Donna's dying desire for family unity by setting the brothers at each others throats using envy and ever-shifting favoritism as her psychological weapons of choice.

She then will have created an unlimited supply of opportunities to meddle in their lives, all the while looking like a saint to the outside world for her care and concern, while she systematically uses her powers over the Dark Arts to feed on their turmoil and ultimately drain them of their will to live.

At least, that's what I read somewhere. I don't want to incur the wrath of She, the Dark Meddler, Queen Mother of Charterstone. Fear her!