This just in: The Herald-Mail in Hagerstown, Maryland, has done something brilliant. They've moved Mary Worth from the comics page, to their "Break" page featuring advice columnists and horoscopes! That way, all those idiot comics readers who are expecting quick laughs will stop picking on her. And mature readers who are seeking ways to improve their lives, will find her where she belongs, amidst Ann Landers and Lovesick Annie and all the other do-gooders! This is a far better solution than just kicking her out of their publication.
If your paper has already cut Mary Worth, why don't you pass this idea along to them!