Monday, January 10, 2011

The 2010 Worthy Awards

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it is time once again! Welcome to the third annual Worthy Awards, where we gather to celebrate the remarkable achievements of those who live, work and love in Santa Royale, California. Only a few will walk away tonight with the prestigious Worthy Award Loving Cup, but all nominees can take comfort in knowing that there are no real losers when everyone is a real loser.

It's become a tradition to start the Worthy Awards by awarding the coveted Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award to a character who died during the year. It kind of gets things started on a real upbeat note. This year, the coveted Aldo Kelrast Award goes to Richie!

Poor Richie gunned down in the middle of the night, and only an inept vigilante to avenge you. On the upside, no one rocks a vest like you. So congratulations, Richie, on your remarkable achievement.

But now, onto the main event.

This year's nominees were selected by the Charterstone Condo Board, but the final winners were chosen by you, dear readers. Your love and support and interest in these remarkable characters, wonderful stories, and ground breaking artistic accomplishments is what makes tonight so special.

Our first category is:

Outstanding Achievement in Costume Design

And the nominees are:

"Dawn, Your Shirt is Boiling Over"

"My Suit Matches My Lemon Meringue Pie"

Jenna's Non-Reflective Dress

The Perfect Combination of Features I Love

And the award for outstanding achievement in costume design goes to:

"Dawn, Your Shirt is Boiling Over"

I have to admit to being personally satisfied with this recognition. While there aren't any free secret messages during today's awards ceremony, the "boiling over" observation originally appeared as a free secret message. The fact that you, dear readers, chose it reassures me that I'm not the only one who found Dawn's shirt in this panel to be hilarious. Additionally, it should be noted that this is the first time the costume award has gone to a costume that did not include partial nudity. So I have hope that my readers' tastes are improving.

Our next Worthy Award category is:

Outstanding Performance by a Guest Character

And the nominees are:

Lonnie Roberts

Helen Clark

Chin Napkin

Jill Black

And the award goes to:

Helen Clark

Helen Clark touched a lot of hearts in her short visit at the beginning of 2010. She touched them so deeply that her memory lingered throughout the year. And while there were many wonderful visitors to Santa Royale this year, no one was more reminiscent of David Bowie, circa 1997. Thank you, Helen Clark, for the music.

I should also note that Helen Clark beat Jill black by only 3/10's of a percent! Jill Black is FURIOUS about it. She'd go out and get drunk, but Helen Clark already drained the liquor cabinet. I guess we just love alcoholics.

Moving on from the closest victory ever to the biggest blow out ever...:

Outstanding Performance by an Established Character

The nominees are:

Mary Worth

Dr. Adrian Corey

Wilbur Weston

Dr. Jeff Corey

And the award goes to:

Wilbur Weston

As I mentioned, this was our biggest blowout in the history of Worthy Awards. Wilbur really pulled it out for this one: frolicking, life-long regret, ham sandwiches. It was a performance that will really be hard to equal. Well done.

And now, one of my personal favorite categories:

Outstanding Panel of the Year

And the nominees are:

What Are These Feelings?

* @ ^ % $ # !

Final Parting

Bonnie Johnson's Back Window (all four times it was used)

And the Outstanding Panel of 2010 is:

* @ ^ % $ # !

This outstanding panel was saved until the very last few weeks of 2010, much like Hollywood releases its finest, most artistic films at the end of the year so that more people will buy tickets once the award season begins. Moy and Giella should be very, very proud of this particular artistic achievement.

And now:

The Outstanding Mary Worth Story of 2010

Love Child Wanna Be

Love Isn't for Them

My Father the Vigilante

She Has Wedding Planning Experience

And the winner is:

She Has Wedding Planning Experience

I hope, dear readers, that you enjoyed 2010 as much as I did. Your daily participation here, even if you don't make a comment, is truly appreciated. I laugh every day at your observations. You make this blog very fun for me.


Hermite said...

Congrats to all the Worthy winners.

I was concerned, though, they would overshadow today's most unusual event, the arrival of the UFO. I had to stare at that for quite awhile before I figured it out. At first I thought someone was throwing the wedding cake at Adrian, but there were no whoosh lines.

I suppose it could also just be that the catering hall has painted pictures of chandeliers on the walls to class the place up a bit. I am enjoying the UFO idea, though.

phoebes in santa fe said...

I'm upset that "chin napkin" didn't win. People, a lush can ALWAYS be a character, but how often do we get such a chance to honor a chin napkin?

And this was a chance to honor Joe Giella's artistry rather than Karen Moy's. He was the solely, I repeat, SOLELY responsible for chin napkin. It wasn't part of the plot - unless it was - it was only Joe Giella's imagination and artistry that produced it. He should be honored as such.

I really am upset! Drunks are a dime a dozen. But chin napkins?

Amber said...

Bravo! Once again, my favorite awards show of the year.

Tough luck on that, Jill. But at least you got in on best story.

Emmy said...

My first experience with the Worthy Awards was a total delight; I can't wait until next year! (And two of the catagories picked the one I voted for! :D)

Maude Findlay said...

@phoebes, 9:39 AM- Don't worry, Chin Napkin will be back! We still have a whole year of pool parties, barbecues, roast chicken and salmon square dinners at Mary's, enchanted dinner dates at The Bum Boat...Chin Napkin HAS to show up, sooner or later!

Anonymous said...

Chin Napkin was robbed. I demand a recount and investigagion. You're all justa bunch of fine linen bigots.

Shmoopie said...

I used to wish fervently that my newspaper cancel Mary Worth because the strip was just SOOO bad. Since finding this blog earlier this year, I realize that I just didn't get it. Now I'm not so much worried that my newspaper will cancel the strip (I can always read it online), but that Moy and/or Giella will stop writing it. Then what?

Laughed myself silly today reading the terrific write-up for the awards and had more than one tear in my eye remembering all those priceless moments. Congratulations, loving cup winners! (Incidentally, I also think that Chin Napkin was robbed of an award, but I don't want to go all conspiracy theory on anyone!)

Chester the Dog said...

Shouldn't Adrian be reading the letter OUT LOUD?

tuffenuf said...

Thanks Wanders,

Maybe there will be another great action-packed panel in 2011 like the thugs at the SantaRoymart!

I love looking forward to MW& me for my daily laugh out loud.

(not to be confused with LOL - which doesn't really ever happen). :)

Vicki (at a distance) said...

I love how Mary and Scott, without a word, moved about ten feet away as Adrian opened the envelope. They're thinking to themselves, "only Adrian would be stupid enough not to be concerned about explosive contents."

But then...Adrian OPENS the flap and nothing blows up and she doesn't keel over. Then and ONLY then do they dare move a little closer. Still cautious, but a little more confident. Adrian of course, is clueless as ever, and oblivious to what they are doing!

Ralph said...

Great Job! I laughed, I cried, and I love Mary Worth!

Diving Off A Cliff said...

what a fun time of year this is! I love being reminded of all the delightful MW Moments that have amused me so much throughout the year. And Phoebes, I agree 100% about the Chin Napkin. Drunks are easy pickin's for hilarity, but how often does a napkin contribute such interest to a tale? Not since "Beauty and the Beast"!

Chanting, until I spill a beer on the lower tier: said...

Chin Napkin! Chin Napkin! Chin Napkin!

Maggie said...

"She Has Wedding Planning Experience" will alwaysmake me laugh. Good show, Wanders!