Sunday, January 2, 2011

Mary Worth 926

Well, it was a lovely wedding... We gathered together at the Church of Math to add one man and one woman together to make one flesh, as the Bible says.

I was a little surprised when the bride's father got disoriented and walked her down the side aisle of the church, but it gave those of us with bad seats and bad mustaches a better look at all the features to love on the bride's dress.

It was a bit stunning when William Shakespeare arrived and quoted from Henry VI, Part III. In fact, it was horribly inappropriate, as Shakespeare usually is when he appears in Mary Worth. He quoted from a scene when the spineless king decides he'd rather meditate than rule, so he asks two of his former enemies to rule jointly in his stead by joining their hearts together. One of the two men pretty quickly turns back against the king and helps slay his son, if I'm remembering right, which I think I am. Anyway, I hope this isn't going to doom the marriage...

The minister had barely started the service, when Shakespeare began to read Venus and Adonis. "Love comforteth like sunshine after rain..." except he said "comforts" instead of "comforteth" so that the groom's friends wouldn't get confused. Also, the poem was way too long and is perhaps his most erotic work. I was really embarrassed for William Shakespeare.

Everyone was really happy and jumped up and started to congratulate the couple, but then the minister asked us to quiet down because he wasn't done yet. Eventually, Mr. and Dr. Scott Hewlett were happily married. I just hope that nothing insane happens at the reception, like some crazy drunk crashing through the wall of the caterer's and ruining the cake...



Today's Full Strip

12 comments:

djangosmom said...

I was wondering which day Adrian and Scott will celebrate for their anniversary, since the ceremony has lasted all week. It was easy for me and my husband. We were in and out the same day!

Diving Off A Cliff said...

thanks for the quick synopsis Wanders. It took so long for this wedding to happen, I kinda forgot the beginning by the time it ended. "citizen Cane" and "features to love" --- *snort* good ones!

Anonymous said...

i dont think shes gonna drive the car through the door. too hard to draw! i could see her hanging herself from that awning that says catering. but in the long run i bet she just tied the cans to the back of there car as they go off to honeymoon in peace island.

Hermite said...

Hooray! You're back. Happy New Year, everyone.

Was that a great wedding, or what?

phoebes in santa fe said...

Welcome back, Wanders.

This story line is not going to get any better - or interesting - unless Moy unleashes a torrent of abuse from Jill at the reception. And that probably won't happen...

Vicki said...

Mary is happy, Jeff is happy, Adrian is happy...but Scott is apparently keeping his thought bubble to himself? Hmmm...


And yes, Wanders, now that you mention it, the preacher DOES bear a resemblance to Jill's ex! Good eye! That may explain why Jill is about to crash her car into the caterer!

Barbara Hanson said...

The envelope in the car contains tickets to an exotic paradise...compared to Santa Royale, that may well be Trenton.

Carlye said...

I want to know why Adrian is plastering herself up to Scott before they are pronounced married. What a hussy!

jennahrationex said...

"What God has joined together, let no MAN put asunder!" Maybe the minister hasn't kept current with nonsexist language, but Jill, who has been cruelly buffeted about by the patriarchy sure has!! Since she's a WOMAN, she's all ready to do some serious asunder-putting!! And some of it is going to crawl out of that manila envelope! Or smash through the window in Jill's final fit of pique!!

Dave in Parma said...

I think the minister looks more like Al Franken actually.

And good call out wanders on wedding gifts in manila envelopes. Perhaps Scott was the one who left Jill at the altar?

Anonymous said...

Maybe Jill was driving to the wedding all ready to make nice, when she spotted the catering store, whose anthropomorphic swinging doors reminded her of...Jordan! Now she's back on her crazy PTSD-style anti-everything-that-reminds-her-of-her-own-wedding rampage. Go Jill!

Anonymous said...

I certainly hope the letter bomb doesn't explde early.