Thursday, January 6, 2011

Mary Worth 930

I can't quite pin it down, but there's something about that large manila envelope that stands out from the rest. Perhaps it is Jill's letter bomb.

Today's Full Strip

40 comments:

Elaine said...

Bonnie would probably love to get her hands on the boxes, to add to her collection! And it looks like Mary can't wait to get her hands on the gifts!! Well, she did eliminate that meddlesome Jill, she must deserve some kind of prize. Speaking of Jill, she's taking an awfully long time to come through the front of the building...

phoebes in santa fe said...

I thought it was considered "tacky" to bring gifts to a wedding. Obviously Jill didn't impart this knowledge to the rest of Santa Royale wedding-going folk.

kathyo said...

What a flippant remark, Scott. These are not your gifts--they're all wrapped in pink, not white! These are shower gifts for a baby girl.

Emmy said...

"Admiring our stash, Mary?"

And Mary turned around in shock when she realized Adrian and Scott had caught her preparing to run off with one of the wedding gifts, possibly even that fancy manilla envelope, sitting there so innocently. Because, we all know that is the proper way to wrap the truly best gifts.

What will Mary do now? Stay tuned until tomorrow for the shocking results.

Chester the Dog said...

"Admiring our stash, Mary?" HA!

Anonymous said...

Personally, I take great pains to hide my stash....until it goes up in smoke.

Jared said...

Admiring our stash, Mary? Well you ate all our acid in yesterday's strip, so hands off.

Punky said...

Between "here we go" yesterday and "admiring our stash?" today, I'm kind of flummoxed by how hip to the jive this strip is becoming! And if Jill snuck in through the door and left that manila envelope without our getting to see her, it is SO ON, Karen Moy - we've been robbed!

Syndi said...

Nice handwriting, Jill!

Brick said...

These gifts aren't a stash. They're a stack maybe, a collection, but not a stash. There is nothing about this pink pile of presents that is secretly or safely stored.

I miss seeing Bonnie's beautiful boxes, something I hadn't realized before today.

Carlye said...

Phoebes, you are correct. The gifts are supposed to be sent to the bride's home before the wedding. Obviously no one in Santa Royale knows etiquette.

Nathan said...

"Admiring our stash, Mary? Yes, in case you're wondering, I DID bring a gun to my wedding...and if you don't immediately remove the boxes, gift bags, and envelopes from your sleeves and boot tops, place them back on the pile, and STEP AWAY FROM THE STASH...well, I won't be responsible for the consequences. I take my presents VERY VERY SERIOUSLY, Mary. Let's not make me do something I'll regret later."

Maude Findlay said...

Prediction- Remember back when this story first began, and Adrian told Mary that she & Scott were ''staying local'' for their honeymoon, due to finances? I say the manila envelope contains not only an apology from Jill, but tickets for an all expenses paid honeymoon for Scott & Adrian.

kathyo said...

@Maude 1:32 pm: Adrian made that remark to Mary; was Jill even aware of any honeymoon plans? You'd think Adrian's dad--being a retired chief of surgery--would spring for a fabulous honeymoon as his gift to the newlyweds. But you're probably right, since nothing in this strip makes sense anyway.

Anonymous said...

No Jill PLUS garbled, vaguely biblical platitudes by Mary Worth?!! Haven't we suffered enough?

duckduckgoose said...

@ kathyo - I imagine that Jill would know all about Adrian's wish for a more exotic honeymoon. Mary heard the little secret after very little prodding, so Adrian must have mentioned it to Jill during a girlfriend chat. Jill is her "MY FRIEND! opinionated, YES! but on my side!" bridesmaid choice. And Jill considers Scott 'below' Adrian, indicating her awareness of a too-tight budget.

Anonymous said...

Jill's such a vindictive wench. She knew we were waiting for her so she snuck in and left her "gift" and now she's driving away going, "Ha-ha-ha-ha! Don't you feel stupid! I'll bet this isn't the look you were going for!"

Chester the Dog said...

@Punky: How DID Jill sneak into wherever they are, past anyone who was at the rehearsal dinner, past a fully stocked bar, to the stash of gifts? Where did she park?

And Jills gift looks to be inside ...an interoffice envelope from Mountview! She did use that black Sharpie pen very nicely, though.

Mollie said...

Her fancy handwriting is a lot nicer than the block caps she scrawled on the back of the envelope. Unless this fancy envelope was inside the other one?

heydave said...

Nothing bespeaks of true, timeless love as the sheer impressive, yet functional, manila office envelope.

Anonymous said...

Doesn't the 'S' in Scott look more like a treble clef than a cursive 's?' Perhaps Jill is sending them on a honeymoon to Graceland. I'd love to see a Giella version of Elvis.

Vicki said...

What's that ticking sound coming from the manila envelope?

And...has Adrian STILL not greeted her brother who came all the way from Vietnam to see her? Has he already returned by now?

Punky said...

@Chester Where did she park? It sure LOOKED like she was about to park in the window....

So we are being left to believe that Jill surreptiously left honeymoon tix for the "we'll just stay local" pair, to show how much she's grown and changed, to neatly tie up this story with a bow, and why? So we can all start snoozing with the world's dullest plotline: Jeff and Drew Corey discussing the emails they sent to each other? I'd even rather watch Wilbur and Kurt fish, and cavort, and connect on many levels.

Punky said...

Oh, and Chester, good one, re Jill not being able to sneak past a fully stocked bar without stopping. You know your Jill, all right!

Anonymous said...

"Shoplifting, Mary?"

Robert said...

Wedding gifts are traditionally wrapped in white paper, with silver ribbon. Has Giella every attended a wedding, or read Martha Stewart's wedding book?

Dave in Parma said...

Will they ever have the bouquet toss? Will Mary catch it?
Is love meant for Mary?
Will Jill run off with Citizen Cane?
Who is in the pictures in the manila envelope?
What did Bonnie, Bonnie Johnson? buy for the newlyweds (or did she re-gift her husband's sombrero)?

Tune in next year to find out! I can hardly wait!

heydave said...

I haven't even hit the bar yet, and I feel buzzy!

Chester the Dog said...

Today: Adrian recognizes Jill's handwriting...the story speeds up!

Jared said...

I know I'm not the first, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be a letterbomb.

Punky said...

Ah, but Jared, it would undo all of Mary's Good Works if Jill hadn't turned over a new leaf. Sorry to all who are voting for anthrax.

trixietrudy said...

@Chester: THAT is Jill's regular handwriting? I suspect her dysfunctionality stems from being stuck forever in sixth grade, judging by that circle dotting the "i" and the curlicue embellishment. How did this woman get to be a hospital administrator? Run, Drew...run like the wind!

Vicki said...

I'm glad Mary constantly reminds us how much these two deserve happiness, cuz for sure I'd forget.

If it can't be a letter bomb or anthrax, how about a lovely 11 x 14 framed photo of a (sober) Jill to put in their home? She desparately needs to salvage her reputation with them, and a large framed photo portrait would be just the ticket, I'm sure!

Anonymous said...

What is with Mary's choice of quotation? "Where love abides, there are gifts to give and gifts to be received." It's not a real quote, just a "quote-like" mish-mash. It's not even sappy; it just doesn't make any sense at all.

"Where love abides" is the first part of a Henry Van Dyke quote (you know--THE Henry Van Dyke): Every house where love abides And friendship is a guest, Is surely home, and home, sweet home For there the heart can rest.

Whereas "there are gifts to give and gifts to be received" doesn't come from anywhere at all, unless it is the most garbled attempt ever at "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35).

It's like she just misses quoting anything specific or making any sense just to get to me. Mary Worth knows what she's doing, and she's doing it to me. A-a-a-a-a-a!!!

Brick said...

@trixietrudy : Being in sixth grade is a job requirement, I think, for Mountview administration. Isn't it?

@anonymous 1:37: I admit that I've stopped reading Mary's inane platitudes, but this one deserves mention. It reads like an American Express platitude.

Adrian acts far too eager to open Jill's envelope, almost like she knows it's the ticket to her exotic honeymoon, as if she (or someone close to her) had orchestrated the entire series of events, manipulated her predictably wedding-jaded friend toward this precise end.

Shmoopie said...

I'm so glad Wanders hasn't put up a new picture today, because every time I visit the site I am greeted by Mary looking like a little china doll, rubbing her tiny china hands together.

Who could possibly take this strip seriously? It is so beyond the range of any human behavior I have ever experienced that only the healthy dose of this site's commentary makes it what it is: a pure work of art!

PS: I just LOVE pink!

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm ... Maybe that's where those letter bombs in the Maryland government offices came from! Jill must have written the address down wrong while in the stupor the night of the rehearsal dinner.

pandagrandma said...

@ Shmoopie -- Thanks for the best laugh! That's hilarious!

maconmemad said...

There is only one way Jill can make up for her actions at the reception. She has left her suicide note as her final "gift".

Anonymous said...

@maconmemad
Ooo, yes! A suicide note, with a photo taken in her death throes! Then the usual obtuse "oh well!" reaction by Mary Worth, who comforts a momentarily disturbed Adrian with a vague, made-up saying: "As LBJ would say, 'At weddings, joy before sorrow.' And also, 'The unopened package offends the giver.' Have more cake, Adrian." By this time (135 panels later), Adrian and we have forgotten who Jill was or that this was a wedding at all.