The Twelve Steps
1. We admitted we were powerless over our cell phones — that our lives had become unmanageable. We even ate corn bread muffins in our rooms.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves (Mary Worth) could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of Mary Worth as we understood Her.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. We asked Mary if we got it right.
5. Admitted to Mary, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs: "We like to send text messages."
6. Were entirely ready to have Mary Worth remove these defects of character. And take away our texting machines.
7. Humbly asked Mary to point out our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all. Especially dear old dad.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others (i.e., We did not text our amends while driving).
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. Before Mary could point it out to us.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of Mary Worth's will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to others, (which was not difficult since we could easily text the message).
Today's Full Strip