Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Hershey (Trailer) Park: The Flabbiest Place on Earth

We took a rather spontaneous trip north to scenic Hershey, Pennsylvania, yesterday to enjoy a day at Hershey Park. It has been one of Mrs. Wanders’ and my favorite amusement parks in the area for the last six or seven years. It has always felt very family friendly, with an excellent selection of roller coasters for our teenagers.

But Monday was Hillbilly Day at Hershey Park. I’m not sure of the details, but there must have been some sort of promotion. I think if you wore a muscle shirt you got in for half price because I have never seen so many muscle shirts in one place. Ninety percent of all males, ages ten to 75 were wearing them, most of whom should have stopped wearing them 40 pounds ago.

The first muscle shirt we saw was in the parking lot, and this was on the only guy we saw who actually looked qualified to wear a muscle shirt -- perhaps overly qualified. His wife was unloading the kids from their car when we pulled in behind them. He stood there the entire time with his arms sticking out from his torso as if there were some sort of magnetic pole pushing his biceps away from his pecs. He glanced down at his veiny arms every chance he got.

I have always subscribed to Mr. Fred Rogers’ philosophy penned in song:

Everybody’s special
Everybody’s fine;
Your body’s special,
And so is mine.

All of us have different bodies, with different challenges, and that’s okay. But dress accordingly. Most men, if not all, should not wear muscle shirts. If I had seen one more man boob hanging out of its sleeve hole, I would have retched. I’m not sure what the appeal of wearing a muscle shirt is, except perhaps at the gym. But if I pay $50 for an event ticket, I promise you I am not going to wear gym clothes.

Men used to attend amusement parks in slacks and a sports shirt, and perhaps a hat. I’m not advocating that, but the muscle shirt, goatee, beer belly combination is a pretty sorry statement about how we feel about ourselves. Add a pair of short pants and some ill-advised tattoos and we’ve slipped down the social ladder about as low as we can go.


BaHa said...

Sartorially and otherwise...I am in despair. What ever happened to civility? I was in a grocery store earlier today, and there was a young woman blocking the rather narrow aisle as she yapped on her cell phone. I said, I think politely, "Excuse me." Her response was, "Excuse yourself, bitch!"
There are days when Santa Royale sounds pretty good. Sigh.

kathyo said...

And that's just the men. There was a ditzy woman in the supermarket yesterday who was with her 2 kids; she had on a skimpy, see-thru sundress over a bikini with a push-up top. She was at least 40 lbs. overweight and one boob was ENTIRELY popping out. And she was oblivious. I'm surprised store management didn't approach her.

And then there's WalMart; some days I swear I'll never go in that store again. Stores, airlines, amusement parks...all should have dress codes.

Anonymous said...

I agree, Wanders, we really have sunk very low. Maybe we should all move to Santa Royale, where everyone is always appropriately covered up, even though the colors are sometimes odd. We could eat salmon squares and go to a pool party at Swimming Pool.

Meanwhile, why is the booth in the background levitating? Are parts of Diner exempt from the law of gravity?

--Beagle Vet

heydave said...

Was there any face touching at the park? I mean, of course, not the high impact touching kind.

The Digital Hairshirt said...

Oh great - and I'm off today to Dollywood's Splash Country with the kids. Thanks for reminding me.

Where the hell did I put my flask? Mama needs some beer goggles to get through the day . . .

tuffenuf said...

I have fond memories of Hershey Park from a trip or two that my family made in the 70's. I am pleased to say that my father wore slacks and a sport shirt - thus instilling an extra dose of fondness to the memory.

I have so many comments regarding the state of the country, manner-wise, dress-wise and lack or intelligence-wise, that I am unable to choose just one. So I will choose none.

I have always encouraged my children to remember to always aspire to more polite, more conscientious and more knowledgeable about current (news) events and geography than the rest of their generation. I hope that serves them well. So far, they are doing well. (Thank Goodness!)

Thanks for the rant. It deserved the space you gave to it.

tuffenuf said...

(err, that's "lack OF" not "lack or") Sorry.

Tony said...

I went with my family to Hershey Park around 1980 and thought it was a most pleasant, clean, and civil place. Being scary amusement ride challenged, I recall being terrified at the sight of a double Ferris wheel -- when everyone was loaded on, it would rotate so that one wheel was above the other. I suppose that's nothing compared to today's rides.

James in North Dakota said...

Wanders, I was raised about an hour or so from there (Yes, I was James in Pennsylvania until 2004) and I can recall the many trips there (most of them church trips).

I haven't been there for years, so I'm not sure if its still there, but do they still have the tours, where you ride around and see dioramas of how chocolate is made? Then, when the tour is over, you get to sample new products they are working on? Heck, we'd take that tour about fourteen times until we were all fat on Hershey's! Ah, the memories.

phoebes in santa fe said...

"Wife beaters" in an amusement park are much better than those worn on airplanes, and, yes, I've seen plenty. Even in First Class...

And, BaHa, she sounds like someone with a whole lot anger and not many social skills.

Brick said...

tuffenuf, I hope our conscientious children (yours and mine both) become leaders of their generation.
word verification: workett

tuffenuf said...

Thanks Brick.

If not lead their generation, I at least hope that they don't serve as a warning to future generations of what not to become.


All we can do is try to inspire. The rest is up to them.

Hoping that our "tries" were good enough to make that lasting impression

katyb said...

I love summer, but in recent years I see it approaching with a certain amount of dread, because entirely too much pierced and tattooed skin flaps out of entirely too little clothing.

You are correct, we apparently do not think very highly of ourselves, in the guise of thinking each of us is so special that we can go out in public any old way we want.

My father's mother was an elegant, stylish woman whose sense of fashion left a big impression on me.

Whenever I am feeling lazy about what to wear, I ask myself "What would Grammio do?" That helps me make a better choice.

Carlye said...

Katyb, I live in San Diego, where every day is warm enough to advertise your tats, your boobs, your muffin tops, or whatever. Sometimes it's the guys, too. One time I said very brightly to a young man, "nice undies!". He at least had the grace to blush. I figured he wouldn't mind, because he had them sticking out so far, he must have WANTED someone to notice.

Vicki said...

I like this discussion better than the new MW storyline, which is frankly hitting a little too close to home for me. I took care of my dying mom and I've had a "Gina moment" or two myself in public, (sans throwing an order pad into the air, however). A "Gina moment" is embarrassing, but hey, it happens!

So, I DO hope Gina is just scamming Mary for generous tips and that her mom didn't die!

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of my blog post a couple of years ago about Idlewild, also in PA. If my blog were copyrighted, I'd sue you for stealing my ideas, but that's not very neighborly, and you probably don't have the $15 million I'd be asking for, so you're safe for now.

Oh, and I agree 100%, although I think Idlewild might actually be flabbier. Sorry if that puts your family off going there for the first time...

undsters--so close to "unders" and Underoos.