Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Fourth Annual Worthy Awards


Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the fourth Annual Worthy Awards. Santa Royale's elite (you), have gathered together to shower accolades on the 2011 outstanding achievements in the genius comic strip, "Mary Worth."

But first, what glamorous awards ceremony would be complete without a spectacular opening number! Here's a MW&M favorite:



Thank you Mr. Trololo, and now, to start things off, we take a moment to bestow the coveted Aldo Kelrast Memorial Award upon a Mary Worth character who left us for the great Pool Party in the Sky during 2011. This year's outstanding achievement in dying goes to:

MAMA BARONI!

Congratulations on being the perfect cross to bear!

And now, on with the show!

Your votes have been counted. Over 17 votes were cast! A new record. Who knew Mary Worth had so many fans?

OUTSTANDING ACHIEVEMENT IN COSTUME DESIGN

The nominees are:

LOCKET MAN

WHAT IN BLUE BLAZES ATHLETIC GEAR

AMOEBA SHIRT

SANTA ROYALE MESSENGER SERVICE

And the winner is:


LOCKET MAN


This year's winner plans to use his prize money (a $400 gift card from Marcy's) to buy himself some more cool jewelry.

Our next category is

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY A GUEST CHARACTER:

Each year, Mary Worth meddles in the lives of Santa Royale's citizenry, and then we never see them again. This year's nominees may be lost to us for all time, but their performances will live in our hearts forever. And the nominees are:

COACH HAMFIST

LIZA COLBY

YOUNG BOBBY BLACK

GINA THE WAITRESS


And the winner is:

LIZA COLBY

This only goes to show what we already knew: Mary Worth fans LOVE stalkers! Liza Colby is working on a sales degree at Local University, and, ironically, busing tables at the cafeteria.

And now...

OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE BY AN ESTABLISHED CHARACTER

The nominees are:

DAWN WESTON

MARY WORTH

WILBUR WESTON

DR. DREW CARY, M.D.

And the Worthy Award goes to:


WILBUR WESTON

This is Wilbur Weston's second Worthy Award. He won last year for his performance frolicking with his wanna-be son. Wilbur is turning into a regular Tom Hanks. Will he three-peat next year?

And now:

OUTSTANDING PANEL IN 2011

The nominees are:

DREW'S WORKOUT

THE DOCTOR WITH TWO HEADS

NO REFLECTION ON DAWN

HOW YOUNG PEOPLE ARE DRAWN

And the winner is:


THE DOCTOR WITH TWO HEADS

I think this one was pretty much a guaranteed award winner from the moment it first appeared on May 28.

And now, the 2011 Story of the Year:


DAWN GETS TWITTERPATED

NOT FATAL ENOUGH ATTRACTION

THE LIST

HAPPY IS THE ONLY WAY THEY KNOW TO BE

And the winner is:


NOT FATAL ENOUGH ATTRACTION

Once again, stalkers rule on Mary Worth!

Well, 2011 was as a wonderful year in Mary Worth. And she certainly has gotten 2012 off to a good start by rescuing Emily Smith of Goleta.

And let me offer just my personal thanks to all of you, Dear Readers, who devote so much time and insight to this blog! Without you, I would just be another closeted Mary Worth fan wondering what in the world is wrong with me. But at least I know that I am not alone.

Happy New Year to each of you!


This year's awards ceremony has been brought to you by the following sponsors:

Men's Workout
Apple Computer
Experion
Equifax
Transunion
Hilton Hotels
Twitter
Amazon's Kindle
The Four Seasons


If anything, 2011 was the year of product placement.

30 comments:

mrvy said...

Thanks for bringing a smile to the mornings with MW&M, Mr. Wanders! Meanwhile, my daughter has taken a much-needed break from fretting over midterms to ponder the purpose of Mr. Trololo! Thanks for providing him, too.

heydave said...

It must be denial, but i am not worried about my possibly fatal, but in a nice way, attraction to this site daily!

Break out the Kelk and salmon squares!

pq said...

Oh thank you, Wanders, for implanting that Mr. Trololo in my head first thing in the morning. I'm not being sarcastic, either: this is going to keep me giggling all day!

Dave from Goletta (in honor of the Worthy Awards) said...

What a great way to start the day. Well played on the $400 gift card to Locket Man--I didn't catch that until scrolling down to the panel on Mary's call to the credit card company.

KitKat said...

Wanders, you have outdone yourself! Thank you for providing all of us with an endless source of amusement and camaraderie.

Re Mr. Trololo: I can't remember the last time I laughed until tears came to my eyes, but he did it.

WV: "mystree" - which is what happened to Professor Chinbeard. Did we see him at all in 2011?

phoebes in santa fe said...

I still think chin napkin should have been in there, somewhere...

Amber said...

Bravo! Bravo! Wanders, you're a treasure. I was rooting for Amoeba shirt, but I'm sure it will get another chance this year.

Shmoopie said...

Kudos to this year's winners of the prestigious Worthy Awards and to our talented MC! The selection of Mr. Trololo to open the festivities was brilliant and two levels:

1. The performance itself.
What a mellifluous voice, projected with gusto and abandon for our enjoyment!

2. The decor.
How VERY Mary Worth. There are essentially only two colors (brown - a MW classic, and yellowish-beige - a MW must!)

Haven't laughed so much in days!

s said...

I too feel sad for chin napkin. Most likely it is dabbing its tears right now with....well, with itself, I suppose.

mrvy said...

If you, like me, are in need of education, check out Wikipedia's entry on Eduard Khil, aka Mr. Trololo. Seems like happy is the only way he knows to be.

heydave said...

OK, two things.

Why are you people laughing at Mr. Trololo? I am moved to tears merely envisioning his wonderful rendition of yearning for home.

Second, did you people not get the memo wherein I "assist" you in voting decisions? Sure, they are all classics, but...

Hermites said...

Fabulous ceremony. I was moved to tears. Tears of laughter.

Chester the Dog said...

I bet Mary Worth has all of Mr. Trololo's records. His music is "outerworldly".I can just see her in her kitchen, singing right along!

LouiseF said...

Any significance to the fact that these awards were announced the day after the (yawn)results of the GOP primary in New Hampshire? Much more suspenseful! Much cleaner and more gracious comptetition among the Worthy's. Dare I say it, more suspense than shows itself in the daily MW strip, even given the clipping pace of the recent Emily Smith. I am happy to see democracy in action somewhere!

meg said...

Louise F: You are so right about the NH Primary- and the total votes in the Worthy Awards were greater than those for Rick Oops Perry.

What, no thanks to sponsor The Lemon Wedge?

Anonymous said...

Is Mr. Trololo available for the Super Bowl halftime show and/or the Oscars? He'd be much better than Madonna...and the crowd could easily sing along!

--Beagle Vet

Gina said...

Bravo to all the winners! And a heartfelt standing ovation for Mr. Trololo.

Maude Findlay said...

Kind of off topic, but is anyone else following the earth-shattering story in Apt. 3G? If only things were this exciting in the Worthyverse!

http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/comics?feature_id=Apartment_3-G

mrvy said...

@Maude Findley - You are so right! Let's see, who's a good candidate for a secret adoption storyline in the Worthiverse?

KitKat said...

Back at Diner, Emily has abandoned all hope of ever getting that rainbow swirl ice cream while Mary and Bree are practically high-fiving each other ("Aren't we great?!").

Policewoman strikes me as a Santa Royale gender-bending Barney Fife.

Dave in Parma said...

1/12/12: "I tried to stall as long as I could."

Come now Mary--don't sell yourself short. Maybe Moy and Giella do have a sense of humor.

Sandi Ego said...

I'm a little disturbed at the resemblence between the genderless cop and Mary. I wonder how long it will take Emily Smith from Goleta to recover from the vertigo she has no doubt experienced from the shape-shifting Diner.
My WV is "scori", sort of a combo of scary and sorry.

Charles N. Steele said...

Fabulous! I loved the awards!

But I think you accidentally omitted a couple of sponsors: Blue Blazes Sports Inc. and Santa Royale Messenger Service.

Punky said...

The sight of Mary rubbing her hands with glee in today's second panel is really quite disconcerting. I wonder how many more days of self-congratulation can be spun out, before a new plot needs to be hatched. Calling those honeymooners....

I'm still left to wonder why McThuggy had kidnapped Emily, and why he was riding around Santa Royale with her. What was his game plan here? I guess I just shouldn't try to impose this level of logic on the Worthiverse - that just makes my head hurt.

It was a great treat to see all those 2011 highlights again, Wanders. I'm still deflated about the amoeba shirt's loss, but I'm trying to move on. Thanks for all your hard work putting that together.

meg said...

McThuggy is partners in crime with Locket Man. Locket Man is Emily's stepfather. McThuggy snatched Emily because LM failed to give him his fair share of the great Worth heist. He was planning on returning Emily when LM coughed up the blue wallet.

According to Bree, Bill the Mgr "helped with the chase". Prolly ran down the street shouting, 'come back, you forgot your ice cream!'

Anonymous said...

In honor of this incredibly scintillating storyline, I think we all need to add "from Goleta" to our screen names.

--Beagle Vet From Goleta

Limber Joe said...

Tip on WV. Keep hitting the refresh button until you find one that suites. Settled on "ensulin" this evening.

katyb said...

Beagle Vet from Goleta:

What you said, dude.


Also, thank you Wanders. I get a lot of over-the-shoulder looks at work for checking in at MM&Me while my office programs load.

So thanks for being hilarious and SFW.

Edwin Herdman said...

I only ask for a reader vote on Excellence in Captioning!

...I'm voting for "DREW'S WORKOUT" (...subtle...) and "HOW YOUNG PEOPLE ARE DRAWN."

Excellent recap of the year! Don't tell me I'm going to have to go read all the MWs I missed this year, though...seeing that Apple logo mirrored was enough of a shock for this year.

sf_reader said...

Bravo! Best award show yet!