Monday, April 9, 2012

Mary Worth 1,270

Let's see. According to my records, Mary and Nola last spoke on March 8, 2012, over a month ago. So, yes, a lot has happened since then. The chief of police in Sanford, Florida, resigned over the handling of the Trayvon Martin case; the US Supreme Court heard arguments on the Affordable Health Care Act; Mitt Romney won the primary in Puerto Rico, and Rick Santorum won the primary in Louisiana... so yes, a lot has been happening. However, in Santa Royale, Nola met a hobo, and Mary and Jeff philosophized. So it really depends on your perspective.

Today's Full Strip


Gina said...

"I can only wonder why . . . seeing as how I've been slacking off unforgivably in my meddling duties. There's no real reason she should want to talk to me at all."

Elaine said...

Oh finally, we get to see the Nola story. This must be our reward for suffering through a week of Jeff and Mary platituding. Let's not lose sight of that minister, though - he could prove to be entertaining...

heydave said...

ouldsc uperi

Sorry, that was head hitting the desk.

Toots McGee said...

Come in Nola, and fill me in. But make it snappy, I've got to get to my Webelos meeting.

KitKat said...

Wouldn't those lines on Mary's door indicate "KNOCK! KNOCK!" rather than "RING! RING!"?

I fear we're headed for a week of Nola thanking Mary just before Nola boards a flight to Calcutta to join Mother Teresa's Missionaries of Charity.

Thorpnotized said...

Just when I thought Nola was gone, she's back to supply us with guest appearances by Smithers and Hobo in her flashbacks.

@ Toots: I enjoyed the Webelos reference. But shouldn't Mary have earned her meddling badge by now?

(I Googled my anti-robot words "ssagesi blysi" and was asked if I had meant "sausage balls".)

Anonymous said...

I think Nola may want to talk to Mary about her plastic surgery that went horribly wrong.

meg said...

Santa Royale Moon Surface Whig Herald

July 8, 2112

An Amazing and Poignant Discovery

Last week, on the 100th anniversary of the great Santa Royale earthquake, archaeology students from Santa Royale University flew their jet cars low over the crumbled remains of the Charterstone apartment complex. While other areas of town suffered damage, the Charterstone complex was completely destroyed. Amazingly, nearly all residents were outside enjoying a pool party, and only two deaths resulted: Nola Wolvenson and Delilah Jonis' husband, who were trapped inside Wolvenson's apartments when the quake struck.

SRU student Astral Plane Pumberchook was scanning the Charterstone ruins with a small electronic telescope when she noticed some gray, block-like items which looked like books. Further exploration at ground level proved that the items were, indeed, books, and there were hundreds of them. All were observed to be the personal diaries of one Mary Worth, who had apparently entered her experiences each day for over 100 years. The diaries have proven to be a detailed life of an elderly person in the 20th century.

Below are some selected entries from Worth's diaries:

October 29, 1929

Jack hasn't come home from the office yet, and it's nearly midnight. His lamb chops are cold.

October 30, 1929

Jack lost all our money and has taken the coward's way out. Think I'll reheat those lamb chops.

December 7, 1941

What a prankster Jack Jr is. Went to a football game in a racoon coat and came home in a Navy uniform.

June 6, 1944

The streets of New York are even noisier and more chaotic than usual. People keep shouting DDay. That gives me an idea- I'll make deviled eggs and deep fried lamb chops and devils food cake.

November 22, 1963

Nothing on tv but Walter Chronkite. Think I'll try that new recipe from Look Magazine- round brown patties with thick brown gravy.

February 6, 1978

Snow, snow, and more snow. Think I'll move to Santa Royale. But first I'll go upstairs to Apartment 3G and complain about the noise.

September 11, 2001

Nothing worth watching on tv. Think I'll call the White House and complain.

July 4, 2012

Jeff and I are watching American Idol on tv, and drinking champagne like there's no tomorrow. But there is a pool party tomorrow, so I have to make my special salmon squares. Everyone really loves them, but they know how much work they are to make, and people keep saying, no, Mary, don't go to so much trouble, just bring some mixed nuts.

July 5, 2012

Just removing my salmon squares from the oven. I see the gang gathered around the pool. Unfortunately, the dress standards at Charterstone have really slipped. Ian is wearing his tartan Speedo, and Wilbur has on that amoeba shirt. Well, I still have to go to the party- I can tell they are clamoring for those salmon squares.

The last entry in the diaries is a poignant reminder of what happened immediately thereafter.

Attempts to contact Mary Worth, aged 232, at her retirement community were not successful. Mrs. Worth's caregiver said, "Mary says to tell you she's in the middle of a hot bingo game and to leave her the *&^%$#@! alone."

Mary said...

Maybe Nola found out her boyfriend isn't cheating on her after all.

Anonymous said...

I want Nola and Mary to get into a game of one-upsmanship on taking the low roads of the past. Just what has Mary done way back when?

Anonymous said...

Inquiring minds still want to know:


Sandi Ego said...

Can't wait for Nola to tell Mary all about her finger fusion surgery.

Anonymous said...

So during the last several weeks, Nola (1) schemed her way into the position of CEO at The Company, (2) had affairs that ruined two more marriages, and (3) purchased that new stunning outfit she is wearing today (at that expensive shopping district in Santa Royale).

meg said...

Yes, but is she having an affair with Hobo?

kathyo said...

@Thorpnotized: Like your new game! I googled "iandent sentakes" and got results for "indent sentences."