Mary, if you really want to change lives, do something about these record temperatures!
Today's Full Strip
There's the beginning of a messianic gleam in Mary's eyes. Giving this woman an advice column is about the same as giving a compulsive gambler the keys to the casino and an unlimited line of credit. Nice to see that the Santa Royale Gazette's ace reporters are getting their headline, over-the fold, front page news from the Weather Channel.
7Oh yeah Mary, we all believe that's the first time you had that thought.And irony takes a nap on the railroad tracks.
So we've returned to Dawn's Mrs. Robinson pose (as someone alertly labeled it earlier this week) and Wilbur balancing the pink fabric on his forearm. Really, who WOULDN'T want to tour Italy with this duo?Tomorrow a genie will emerge from Mary's odd coffeepot. Mary's one and only wish will be for everyone in the world to always take her advice.
Wilbur starts the apocalypse.
It's clear to me that Mary is CAUSING this heat wave, holding that newspaper over the hot cup of magical brew, reciting incantations and cackling about how she can change many lives. This is probably a daily ritual, and she will need to be caught before she melts us all.
How awesome would it be if the coffee pot turned into Mrs. Potts from Beauty and the Beast and the cup turned into Chip and started singing and dancing? Also, Mary Worth was stoned.
One way or another, Wilbur will not be coming back from Italy.
Next week's Person Magazine will have a cover teaser: "Kim K. and Kanye cut Italian Vacation short -- scared off beach by crazed fan" Inside: Kim says, "...it was BRUTAL!! THis fat middle-age man with like, a bad combover kept like...following us...like EVERYWHERE, taking our pictures and begging for autographs for his daughter".
I noticed. Pink drapes.Again.
@Vicki, don't forget:Kim was quoted as saying, " he kept following us until we threw a handful of small ham sandwiches off to the side of the road, and we were able to escape as he was distracted...."
I see that the salvage of the Costa Concordia has begun. Maybe Wilbur and Dawn will arrive in time for a three-hour tour with Captain Coward on his next ship.--Beagle Vet
Mary is already imagining the two weeks of "Thank You Mary"s that we will inevitabley hear after advice column. Gems of wisdom such as "when you make yourself tea, be sure to bring out the salt and pepper shaker, because you never know who wii drop by with a ham sandwich in need of spices.. And always keep your Splenda packets in the sugar bowl.". (She couldn't have ripped them off from Diner, could she?
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