Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Mary Worth 1,385

Speaking of ugly scenes, this evening's dinner blobs have transformed Mary into something from a Tim Burton movie. Something from a sad Tim Burton movie.

Today's Full Strip


Peggy Olson said...

Yes, Dawn, it WAS brutal.

Self-centered young women in purple dresses mowed down helpless little girls to get to the lifeboats. Fat men insisted on being rescued, instead of drowning, bleeding victims.

What a horror for each survivor! How ever did he or she victim fend for him or herself!

Kudos to Wilbur for his perfect business-correct grammar. His next job can be writing legal disclosures for a bank.

Peggy Olson said...

Sorry --

How ever did he or she fend for him or herself!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of an Ugly Scene, what exactly happened to Mary's face?

Thorpnotized said...

Dawn, please expand your vocabulary and replace "brutal" with a different word (see examples below). It's getting really old...

[barbaric, bloodthirsty, callous, ferocious, gruff, hard, harsh, heartless, inhumane, insensitive, merciless, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, uncivil, uncivilized, unfeeling, unmannerly, unmerciful, vicious]

Nance said...

Dawn has wisely ditched her cutlery. I wouldn't eat that stuff either. It looks...

[barbaric, bloodthirsty, callous, ferocious, gruff, hard, harsh, heartless, inhumane, insensitive, merciless, pitiless, remorseless, rough, rude, ruthless, savage, severe, uncivil, uncivilized, unfeeling, unmannerly, unmerciful, vicious].

Thanks, Thorpnotized.

Anyway, have I mentioned lately that I love this plotline now? Not only has Dawn not learned a blessed thing, she has not even changed her clothes. And MW has now turned into a zombie whose face is melting off. WOW!

Thunderbirds Are Go!

heydave said...

"it was every man, woman and child for themselves!"

"Happily, that did not concern us, nor the lovely gay couple that just couldn't keep their hands off of me. WE boarded out private helicopter and skedaddled!"

Oh, and shhhhh... nobody ask Mary about her stroke.

Gina said...

. . . And we're back to "brutal." Basically we've just walked in a giant circle with this storyline, and we're right back where we started.

I think I need to go lie down.

KitKat said...

Peggy Olson@7:10 AM, my thoughts exactly regarding the poor "Aiuto" waif. I expected Dawn to say, "It was brutal! Some stupid little kid was in my way, and I had to shove her overboard!" I'm guessing that when things go swimmingly, Dawn says, "Life is awesome!"

Mary's thoughts, which prompted her peculiar (putting it mildly) expression: "Wilbur's going to ask for his column back! NEVER! I will be 'Wendy' forever!!"

Chester the Dog said...

Mary looks like she just swallowed a forkful of live worms.

fauxprof said...

Mary, in an unseen thought balloon: "Oh, dear, I didn't add enough dried kelk powder to the Fancy Feast salmon. My deep fried mush balls are melting. I feel my face melting, too. Yellow isn't my color. Who are these people? What lifeboats? It all seems so...futile? No, brutal, that's it. Brutal. Now, where's that big carving knife..."

heydave said...

Two things:

* where is Dave?
* Giella ain't consistent.

* and th...

three, three things!

* this "comic" strip is brutal

Toots McGee said...

Another "Naked Lunch" for Mary. Not literally, but as William Burrough defined his book:

"a frozen moment when
everyone sees what is on the end of every fork"

a moment of existential clarity, or perhaps Mary being replaced by a human/insect hybrid

Life is brutal, especially after they douse you with the bug powder.

Dave in Parma said...

It certainly was every child for herself. The ham sammich packing tele-tubby-like advice column writers seemed to have people flocking to help them though.

When are Wilbur and Dawn going to tell us how humanity acted as the ship went down? The suspense is killing me! (wait, maybe that's my way out of this plot)

meg said...

Meanwhile, on the Weston answering machine:

"Wilbur-it's Dr. Jeff. I thought you and Dawn might enjoy a moonlight sail on my cabin cruiser..."

"Wil-it's Toby. Ian and I would like to take you both to dinner at the Bum Boat. The special tonight is pesce spada."

"Dawn-it's Leigh and Leslie, the guys who kept your father from bumping into the ship's railing. We'd like to invite you to our wedding on Saturday at the Santa Royale Hilton- you know, Bobby's team's hotel? We're registered at Crate and Barrel."

"Dawn-it's Dave. Paula and I would like to get together with you. There's a revival of Titantic playing at the Arlington Theater-come with us. It'll be a night to remember!"

"Westons, it's Lionel Hutz, your lawyer from Dewey, Cheatem and Howe. We need to talk about your suit against the Costa Line."

"Weston-it's Boss at Paper. Don't bother to come in. We're keeping that Worth dame."

"Mees Dawn? Meester Weelbur? It is I, Gabriella Aiuto, the leetle girl whom you left for dead. I was rescued, and I am very happy. Don't let me haunt your dreams."

"Wilbur T. Weston?- This is the Mediterranean Department of Environmental Protection. You're being charged with polluting international waters. We have a large piece of Astroturf with sleeves that we've traced to you."

"Wilbur, Dawn- it's Mary. Leftover salmon squares and kelkie cookies for dinner tonight! Come on over!"

"Wilbur-it's Giorgio- what the *&^%$#@!? I was kind enough to lend you my villa, and you trashed it! Brad and Angie are coming there for their honeymoon, and I've been picking up sandwich wrappings and beer bottles all day. And Dawn- how about coming back alone sometime? I'll give you a ride on my "big boat".

heydave said...

re: meg.... it's going, it's going, gone! another home run!

Toots McGee said...


no messages from the guy who hoisted Wilbur into the helicopter? It looked like they shared a moment.

meg said...

Toots: Yes, they shared a moment. Here's how Wilbur described it:

Here's how hoistman described it:

KitKat said...

meg, I was laughing so much, I had to walk away from my desk. I salute you!

Peggy Olson said...

Meg, maybe Giorgio and Dave have something in common. Big boat, indeed.

And let's not forget LiZa the nurse/salesperson. She probably texted Drew about the shipwreck.

TG said...

Mary is morphing into Miss Ellie from Dallas. If Wilbur appears in a 10 gallon hat next, then we'll really know the meaning of brutal.

hia5 said...

It looks like Dawn is about to chow down on a large bar of Ivory soap in the second panel. I hope this recipe will make it into the next edition of the "Mary Worth Cookbook."

Chester the Dog said...

To add one more from Megs great answering machine archive.

"Miss Weston, this is Blockbuster or Redbox or whatever. Your rental of Game of Thrones is way overdue. Please return the Betamax tomorrow! Thanks, Dave"

Guess that's how they met.

Anonymous said...

Did Mary have a stroke?