Saturday, May 4, 2013

Mary Worth 1,588

I wish Tom would stop referring to himself as a bachelor. I know that technically he's correct, but isn't divorcé more accurate? I mean, in my mind, calling Tom Harpman a bachelor is like calling anyone who appears on the show "The Bachelor" a virgin, even if they have stopped having sex. I mean, once it's gone, it's gone.

Also, the salt is back. Go salt!

Today's Full Strip

23 comments:

Yahoonski said...

Joe's outdone himself today. First we have Tom with his hand stuck down the garbage disposal (if this thing with Beth doesn't work out, he might meet some caring volunteer at Hospital when he goes in for therapy). Then in panel 2 we see that the whole counter and drawers assembly has been frightened away by Beth's as-SALT on the pork chops, which will slide right off their plates if they attempt to eat them while sitting at the table, since it seems to be on some sort of inclined plane behind Tom. I was thinking the 2 glasses had disappeared too, but maybe Beth's left hand is putting them away under the counter.

NonnyMus said...

Those are pork chops?!?!?!?!?

Dave in Parma said...

Why would she think he's a workaholic? She has only seen him eating, preparing (poorly), and buying food (apparently also poorly).

And now that he knows how to wash carrots he magically has solved his food preparation issues?

Wool Worth said...

Tom's method of "learning how to cook" is washing the same four carrots over and over while Beth does all the work.

Nance said...

Tom Harpman is a huge germaphobe. He needs an entire sink full of water to rinse four carrots.

And I have news for Beth. She--or Tom Harpman--bought pork cutlets or frozen Banquet pork patties. I've never seen round pork chops.

Perhaps Beth moved on to dessert--salted caramel cookies. I'd have given up on those carrots, too.

Toots McGee said...

Mmmmmm...salted caramel cookies!

KitKat said...

Wanders, that's a terrific secret message.

We know Tom is a workaholic because he wears a watch while washing carrots.

Ahhh, Beth in the first panel is extremely scary looking! Is she preparing a special strychnine-encrusted so-called "pork chop" for Mommie Dearest?

jennahrationex said...

A salt-encrusted pork chop as healthy eating, Beth? Really? Didn't you ostensibly sneak past your watchful mother to teach Tom about the wonders of a healthful diet? If that bachelor doesn't have high blood pressure already, he will soon, what with the salt and the upcoming, increased sneering of Elinor.

WV: contagious

fauxprof said...

Those sure don't look like pork chops--unless they are the very thick boneless ones for stuffing. Beth has butterflied them and opened them flat, so they look round. Then she coated them with the only condiment in Tom's cupboard (ketchup) to turn them orange, and is now adding her own signature ingredient (copious salt). Time to send out for pizza.

As to Tom's being a bachelor, in the book "Midnight In the Garden of Good and Evil", Savannah society uses that term as an euphemism for Gay. Probably not the case in Santa Royale, where everyone is white anglo-saxon straight.

Muscato said...

At what point is Tom going to realize that, if panel two is to be believed, he's about to be assaulted by the folding chair that's creeping up behind him?

Charterston kitchens are terrifying, flux-ridden spaces that would give Escher the jitters...

Gina said...

Again with the salt. Is she trying to become the world's most gradual serial killer, by raising the blood pressure of everyone in Charterstone?

Anonymous said...

Are those pork nuggets? And is there a sink under that faucet, or is water just pooling on the counter?

--Beagle Vet

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

It takes extensive training to develop the culinary talent necessary to cook pork chops and carrots. Tom is one lucky bachelor.

Anonymous said...

fauxprof @2;14

You are absolutely correct about the bachelor euphemism. When we were childern in the midwest back in the 50's and 60's there were two men who were known as the "bachelors" who lived down the street. We envied their beautiful home, in ground pool and pair of Great Danes.

heydave said...

I can't come here on introspective days: the execution of this plot (oh, to be wished for!) is making me stupider...

jennahrationex said...

New Mary Worth challenge: Can Karen Moy write the Tom/Beth romance without using the word "bachelor" at least once in every strip?

Anonymous said...

Those appear to be pork flaps; not pork chops. Hey... I'm willing to try them ...

kingle said...

If Tom can't cook, what are those books in his kitchen?

kathyo said...

You're doing a wonderful job slicing that whole stick of butter for our healthy meal, Tom. BUT IF
YOU COULD CUT THE CARROTS NOW it'd be better...

Sandi Ego said...

So, in other words, Tom is not cutting the carrots properly but it's a nice try anyway. Wow. You flirtatious little vixen, Beth.

Toots McGee said...

Mmmmmm....pork flaps!

The Moy speech balloon to thought balloon shifted sentences amuse me...and make me feel other things as well!

KitKat said...

All that salt is making Tom's hairline recede - and he hasn't even eaten yet. And, good grief, are those the carrots, a.k.a. SOME KIND OF VEGETABLE, in the boiling kettle? Any nutritional value they had is long gone, as is any flavor (mushy carrots - yum!).

Tom's kitchen door has a window - ? Reminds me of Diner.

Special appearance by Chin Napkin as Dish Towel!

Sam Rames said...

I like Tom's mysteriously vanished arm. Adds a nice touch to the whole panel. Perhaps it is utilized to symbolize how truly lost he is without Beth :P