Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Mary Worth 1,591

I didn't have time to write this morning, but I couldn't go to bed without posting: Tom and Beth both play the ukulele? I like them more and more each day. I've been playing the ukulele for over a year now and it is the most wonderful instrument ever invented. For these two ukulele players to find each other in a world of pop-40 is a true miracle. Now eat your yummy pork blobs and get married already! Put this lonely bachelor out of his misery.

Today's Full Strip


Ron Andersen said...

So, your daughter gets on Youtube, but where's the Youtube link to listen to the master ukulele player?

NonnyMus said...

Your audience is simply thrilled in that photo! Thanks for sharing, Wanders!

What I like best about this strip is that Beth was being facetious in her mention of ukelele playing. I don't know if Moy read some article that ukelele playing is the new thing and is mocking new trends or is referring to the instrument's heyday in the 1920's -- it rings false either way.

But what in Mary Worth rings true?

"Healthy" pork chops? A divorcé calling himself a bachelor? A writer who doesn't write? All the ants?

And so on.

Dave in Parma said...

I second Ron Andersen's comment Wanders. We saw your daughter's music video a few years back; how about a piano/vocal + ukulele duet.

As for Thursday's strip, Beth: yes, Beth, you look like you like to have fun. When I think of the personification of fun, an image of Beth Kinley springs front of mind. (sigh)

KitKat said...

Wanders, when I saw your photo, the song "Ukelele Lady" popped into my head. Is it in your repertoire? When I was a tiny child (very tiny), Arthur Godfrey was a star of radio and TV - he played the ukelele too.

A fun moment, Beth? Like this dinner? When does the fun begin? Just the thought of Elinor has caused Beth to gain 15 years and 15 pounds between panels.

Wool Worth said...

Yes, I enjoy a fun moment whenever I can like when my mother criticizes my choice of occupation, criticizes how fast I carry her luggage, says horrible things about my father, complains about the asparagus at the one dinner party someone invited us to. Those are fun moments, right?

meg said...

Elinor's Story

As Beth and Tom enjoy their food-like dinner, another Charterstone visit is about to unfold.

Ring, ring!

Mary: Hello?

Elinor: Mary, it's Elinor Kinley. We need to talk.

Mary: Sputter, sputter.

Elinor: I know Beth's not there, you old fool. She's off gallivantin' or worse with that handsome yellow-haired man. Could you please come over here now?

Mary: Of course. I'll be right over.

Later, over a cup of Sanka:

Mary, let me tell you a story. I wasn't always the crochety old bitch you know. I was once a loving wife who wanted more out of life. My husband was a good man, but he was short and balding and had a scraggly little beard. I wasn't attracted to him in 'that way.' We lived in a remote community where little happened from year to year, so it was very exciting when the famous detective Dick Tracy showed up to investigate rumors of illegal activities in the local mountains. What a handsome devil he was- that luxurious head of blue-black hair, that magnificent jutting jawline, that bright yellow Burberry overcoat....Well, anyway, you can guess what happened. Then Dick went back to the big city, and I was left with my husband. And nine months later, my first son was born. Although he looked just like Dick, my husband accepted him, and life went on. We were happy, but I was still unsatisfied.

Several years later, rumors of a UFO landing brought in a team of Air Force investigators. Well, I never did see a man as handsome as Steve Canyon, and he liked my looks well enough. There was no UFO, but nine months later I had a beautiful yellow-haired baby boy. And once again, my husband accepted him, but he was not as unsuspicious as he had been before. I tried to be happy, but it wasn't possible. I needed more than my life had to offer. So I decided to go to the local community college.

Our community was small, so the college only offered one course a semester. There was great excitement when it was announced that a famous writer would teach a poetry course. Professor Les Moore and his friend Funky Winkerbean came to town. The minute I saw Les with his shock of lank black hair, his wire-rimmed glasses, and his scrawny little frame, I was lost. And he was crazy about me! When he left town to return to Cleveland, I was with him in his 1974 AMC pacer. And nine months later, Beth was born, the spitting image of her daddy.

But I soon grew tired of Les and Cleveland, and Beth and I wound up at the Walden Pond commune with Joanie Caucus and Zonker and their friends. The years passed, and my lumbago began to trouble me, so using the proceeds of Beth's advance on her romance novel "Ukulele Man in a Rowboat", we moved here to Charterstone.

And now, my husband has written to ask me to come home to him to spend our golden years together. He sent me a picture of himself and our boys and our grandson.
(hands Mary a framed photograph)

Mary: !!!!!!! But, Elinor, this means you are...

Elinor: Yes, Mary, I am Mammy Yokum. And Li'l Abner and Tiny are my sons. What should I do? If I go back to Dogpatch, there's a corncob pipe and a pair of hobnail boots and a mug of moonshine waiting for me.

Mary: I'll drive you to the bus station.

jerrybear said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jerrybear said...

Since we're kind off back in the 1920's when Mary was in her prime, her dear rich husband hadn't yet escaped from her through his untimely death in 1929, and uke playing was such a popular past time,
there was a British novelist by the name of Elinor Glyn who specialized in risque romantic novels.
2013 - bitter ancient mother/writer has a daughter who writes romances. Mother is really mad because daughter hasn't carried on the family tradition of writing risque romance novels.

r u ok? said...

Wanders' ukelele picture would be perfect for Beth's next romance novel book cover!

fauxprof said...

@meg, Awesome! If you had just worked Brenda Starr into that scenario, I'd think you were looking over my shoulder at the funnies in the Canton Repository in the 1950s.

...speaking of the fifties, calling the NE Ohio contingent. Didn't Barnaby plat the ukulele?

KitKat said...

@fauxprof at 3:30 PM, I think you are correct re Barnaby.

meg said...

I apologize. Dick Tracy's hair should have been described as luxuriant, not luxurious.

By the way, I have figured out what Beth and Tom are eating: it's Schmoo.

Anonymous said...

Wanders.. I always thought you were sort of cute.. till I saw you with that ukelele...

Sandi Ego said...

Shhh, don't tell anyone, but the kids are giving dad a ukelele for his birthday in a couple weeks! He loves tiki stuff so he'll appreciate it. He also plays electric guitar and trumpet, so maybe he can work on a medley of some sort. I can't wait!

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