Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Mary Worth 1,616

I had a lot of time to think while I was in the hospital recovering from my fake heart attack. It really forced me to evaluate my life. There's nothing like a fake heart attack to give you some perspective.

Today's Full Strip

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

Elinor faked a heart attack. So what. Moy fakes being a writer every day.

KitKat said...

Note how Elinor's wardrobe mirrors her transformation - from black and purple to pale yellow. Did someone shop for her while she was recovering from her fake heart attack? Maybe Tom made a fast trip to Chico's.

Tomorrow: Ding dong! It's Mary with a kelk-asparagus casserole. Yes, Elinor's change of heart (ha) is so complete, she will even eat asparagus. Of course Elinor will thank Mary profusely for changing the life of the Kinleys and the formerly lonely bachelor/divorced guy workaholic Harpman.

Nance said...

LOL, Anonymous 7:43. I mean, I really did LOL. Great remark.

@KitKat--TomHarpman is TomTerrific. Of course he made a thoughtful trip to Chico's. And I'm sure it's cashmere.

I also noticed that Elinor seems shorter and her face is no longer long and gaunt. But this transformation is costing her a little. She is crushing her hand with the Titanic effort of being kind, generous, and nice.

(Looks like someone should have called Merry Maids. The place got filthy while Elinor was away.)

KitKat said...

I forgot to mention this - anyone else notice that Beth is sporting the same type of heart pendant that Dawn Weston has worn? Ah, the mark of a single woman who's looking for love in Santa Royale.

JustSayin' said...

I second the kudos to Anonymous @7:43. So true!

This plot has continued to be so insipid and boring that I've become more fixated on the ridiculous hair-helments than ever before. Bring in a stylist to give some of these people perms already.

Thorpnotized said...

THIRD PANEL - Beth: "Oh mother, I'm so glad you feel that way, because... well... I'm going to be a mother too!"

duckduckgoose said...

This would be a good time for Beth's dad to walk through the door, kiss Elinor on the cheek, put his feet up and ask what's for dinner.

r u ok? said...

Tomorrow Tom will ask to borrow some money from Beth. Tom may be a workaholic but he does not have a job.

Mary said...

Maybe Elinor's long-gone husband was Richie's killer.

daniel pike said...

I have a question has any of Uncle Joe's drawings been remotely the same from panel to panel?

daniel pike said...

It's good to see these to loser 30 or 40 somethings are ready to get married after one night of eating cold franks and carrot mush.

daniel pike said...

J Jonah Jameson will celebrate Aqua Man and Thelma's engagement by smoking a big cigar and cursing Spider Man.

Chester the Dog said...

Elinor didn't answer Beth's question...

Carlye said...

Who is this woman, and what did they do with Elinor? I know some people who need to go to this hospital.

Anonymous said...

When is Tom going to whip out a wildly impressive engagement ring?

Dave in Parma said...

And the Grinch's tiny heart grew three sizes that day.

Meanwhile, as Tom packs Elinor's belongings and leaves them in the hallway.......

Shmoopie said...

I've never seen anyone carry a suitcase more awkwardly than TomDear is doing here today. Unless, of course, he is multitasking by doing some reverse curls AND moving Elinor's replacement in. (Seriously, who IS that woman?)

On the plus side, the award for most improved drawing of an object/a person reflected in a mirror goes squarely to Uncle Joe. We all know how much trouble he's had with this in the past. Today, he NAILED IT!

Dave in Parma said...

@Schmoopie: while complimenting Uncle Joe on his resurgent artistic prowess, let's not forget to mention Tom Harpman's stellar circa 1981 Century 21 Realtor suit ensemble, complete with pants at full Depends level waist height. Atta-boy!

KitKat said...

Wednesday

Dear Tom was destined to join the Kinley women - his orange suit coordinates with their orange furniture. A lifetime of mushy carrots (orange again!) awaits...EXCEPT... Jim's missing arm has crept into the apartment and is poised to attack Dear Tom.

Nance said...

WEDNESDAY

If only KM were a talented writer. Then DearTom's comment in Panel Two today would be foreshadowing that he is, in fact, IN THE WITNESS PROTECTION PROGRAM!!

TomHarpman (not his real name)was a key witness in a federal case against an organized crime figure. Once the case was closed and TomHarpman was debriefed, he was given a new identity, a chest hair transplant, and a receding hairline, courtesy of the taxpayers. Relocated to Charterstone at Santa Royale, where nothing happens all the time, he will live out his days until he marries, at which time he will completely fall off the face of the earth, never to be found.

meg said...

BAD NEWS, EVERYONE!
Chin Napkin has met with foul play.
That random hand reaching toward Tom's chin is meant to wipe Tom's mouth. But Chin Napkin is nowhere to be found.
I suspect that Elinor left it at the hospital, after wiping the sweat from her brow.
Chinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyy! We hardly knew ye!

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

SOMEONE TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE!

Mary said...

Why is Beth recapping recent events for Tom in panel one? Wasn't he there when all the drama unfolded?

fauxprof said...

Today's dialogue has to be the most awkwardly written exchange in a long time. Really, who needs this kind of exposition? Tom? Elinor? Beth herself? Or is Ms. Moy envisioning the first time ever Mary Worth reader, who needs to be brought up to speed in a hurry? That's what Wanders' archives are for.

Vicki said...

I don't see a door in that room so apparently TomDear is just walking around the room's perimeter in circles! (And obviously Beth can't carry the suitcase because her hands are too tiny!)

Anonymous said...

This was a story with the potential to be interesting...and finished up in the most ludicrous, miserable, STUPID plot conceit. A dream?!! Elinor had her first dream?!!! I've been reading this stupid strip for 50 years and I may be done with it. ...Yeah, I'll be back. (hangs head)

Anonymous said...

I move that we ask Wanders to include "the most disappointing story line ever" into next year's Worthiness Awards. Who will second that motion?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous @ 8:05 - The storylines are all so disappointing, how would the voters ever choose just one?

KitKat said...

Thursday -

Elinor's bittersweet past? Her life seemed to be all bitterness until her Mary-provoked metamorphosis the past week. Where's the flashback we all wanted, where Mr. Kinley shouts, "I'm mad as hell, woman, and I'm not going to take it any longer!" and splits? Karen Moy is getting awfully lazy.

Are you stuck with these three twits through Sunday's recap? (Perish the thought of this pap going into next week!)

KitKat said...

In my last sentence, I meant "we," not you. We're all in this together, people!

A bright spot: My wv this time is "Sir Woopubl." I hope he's introduced at the next Charterstone pool party, perhaps someone Wilbur met for "I'm Alive!"

kathyo said...

@KitKat 8:42: I just laughed at your second comment; then I scrolled down and my PYNAR words are Sandwich mysubre. An omen!

heydave said...

I, for one, want to see still more hand holding and emotive gushing... until these twits melt into a sugary slurry of Absolute Goodness on the floor... and those ants slowly devour them.

Anonymous said...

There's still hope for this story line. We don't know anything yet about the circumstances of Tomdear's divorce. Possibly his m.o. is to meet women like Beth, bowl them over with his babymanly charm, and then leave them. Maybe he's channeling Elinor's absent husband. How fun would that be?

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KitKat said...

FRIDAY

Wowee, how fortunate for Dear Tom that Muhammad Hassan has commented on this blog today! To exceed Elinor's high standards, workaholic Dear Tom will need another Online Job from home to Make Money online. Especially to support his new family....

Anonymous said...

It's troubling, though, that if you work there "you can your Future Income." Tom had better be careful before signing on.

Nance said...

FRIDAY

Holy crap. Elinor's story is all wrapped up and it's like The Grinch. Her heart grew two sizes, and all her wrinkles ironed out, too.

She even became a source of inspiration to TomHarpman to blow past her every expectation on his way to new pinnacles of success.

It's enough to make me start hating asparagus,too.

heydave said...

Those eyes! Elinor is not One of Us, if you know what I mean.

Although whatever It is, It has a huge sense of humor... "recovered?"... from a FAKE illness??!?

Oh, bravo, Alien Life Form, bravo!

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Nance said...

I just checked The Wanders Wayback Machine, and this "plot" has been ongoing since March 6th.

We have been plodding along for more than three and a half months, and this is all we got. This.

I feel so used.

Link3220 said...

@ Nance

At three story lines a year, I figure if I can make it through "only" 26 or 27 more of these inane situations, I'll be at retirement age. Maybe Uncle Joe can hide a secret number in the strip every day to count me down to zero.

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