Monday, January 13, 2014

Mary Worth 1758

It's easy to love New York when you have a heroic Broadway legend protecting you from every mugger and giant flying taxi in town.

Today's Full Strip


KitKat said...

Unfortunately for Mary, Ken Kensington always confuses "push" and "pull."

Anonymous said...

The cold probably wouldn't bother her so much if she'd remember to dress like it's winter.

fauxprof said...

Oh, dear, are we going to have a proper old fashioned soap opera plot? Mary in a coma, Jeff rushing across country to her side, Ken and Jeff in conflict for days (weeks, months), and then...amnesia, right?

Anonymous said...

I'm predicting Mary will suffer some injury that only Dr. Jeff knows how to repair. As a matter of fact, he just developed the technique while he was in Viet Nam. Gotta be good for at least three floating Mary heads on his trip to NY.

Bobby the Soccer Player said...

Push and pull; that was great! Thanks for the laugh, KitKat.

BaHa said...

Just a yellow car. Taxis have a light on their roof that indicate their number, as well as whether they are occupied or off duty. But when, in the Worthiverse, do facts matter?

Kenny's Road Pizza said...


Mary's masterminded plot has worked to "disappear" herself from NYC and the sticky impending love triangle. Confrontation averted.

As Mary escapes into the manhole, a new chapter of meddling in underground mole society begins while she awaits her subway back to Santa Royale.

Unrealistic I know, but no more far-fetched than Moy's other plot lines.

meg said...

Mary Worth, confused about her future (what's left of it), falls into a troubled sleep. She awakens to a rustling sound and sees the figure of a woman with wildly disarrayed white hair, a cackling laugh, and a gown patterned with lime green and orange.

Mary: Is-is- that you, Phyliis Diller?
Apparition: Ah, hahahhahahahah! No, Mary, you little ninny! It is I, Minnie Worth, your late former mother-in-law.

Mary: Mother Worth!! What a dear Jack with you?

Mother Worth: You wish. No, Mary, he's still in Tahiti with his secretary.
Come with me, I want to show you what will happen if you don't return to Santa Royale.

Mary complies, and she is soon floating over Charterstone.
"Who is that couple in my condo? They're cooking in my kitchen!"

"That's Dawn, and Iris's son Tommy. They're breaking bad in Santa Royale."

"And who's that in the pool cabana?"

"Oh, that's Elinor Kinley and her friend Marie (Tony Bennett lookalike, MW 1600). They sit there every morning, drinking pink gins, plucking hairs from their chins. Ian is joining them today because it's his morning off from Ralph's supermarket. He's a bagger."

"Where's Toby?"

"Toby is gossiping with Beth Kinley. who is now writing Ask Wendy Toby has given up her clown painting so that she will have more time for gossip."

"What about Wilbur?"

"He and Iris are taking a Mediterranean cruise."

"And Jeff- what happens to Jeff?"

"Jeff gave up his medical career and became a disc jockey, working the Santa Royale weddings and bar mitzvah circuit. He's known as DJ Jazzy Jeff."


"Now, Mary, we'll go back to New York and see what life is like after you move in with Broadway legend Ken Kensington."

Mary sees herself climbing up six flights of stairs to Ken's railroad flat at West 33rd and 11th Avenue. She's carrying shopping bags with Kelk, Metamucil, throat spray, cat food, frozen raspberry pizza, and cat food. She is greeted by Mr. Paws, Mrs. Paws, Fluffy, the Great Kittenski, and Baby Paws. Ken says, "It's about time you got here. A Broadway legend shouldn't have to wait until 5:30 for his dinner."

Then Mary sees dear old Shelly Cohen. Shelly has lost her position at Promise Haven and is standing on the corner of Lexington and 42nd street, running a three card monte game. Dr. Milton Smith is the shill who keeps on pretending to bet and pretending to win.

"Oh, Mother Worth! What shall I do?" asks Mary.

"Well, Mary, if I were you, I'd be very careful crossing the street tomorrow."

meg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
heydave said...

No, Mary's not going to get hit by Ol' Yeller...

K2 will get slammed, leaving him just enough time to imagine big floating heads at the Wedding That Will Never Be to Mary, gasping platitudes that will make us all wish for the sweet release of death.

And Mary will blithely make a smug comment about how it all made her better, so nyah, nyah, nyah.

KitKat said...

Applause to KM and JG for giving @meg at 10:45 AM such fruitful material! @meg, I bow before your genius!

Pete Farmer said...

"Ah, Mary, the sun is bright in New York too! Here, take a look at the white light!" [shove]

Thorpnotized said...

This is the point in time when Ken realizes that being Mary's friend is too much work -- saving her from muggers and traffic. Time to pack those bags and head west, Mary.

Dave in parma said...

I'm hearing the 'Look out" voiced like Gene Wilder's Willy Wonka saying "Stop. Don't Come Back."

Dave in Parma said...

I wonder if the scarf vendor character actor is also playing the taxi driver.

Dave in Parma said...

Cue to Tuesday, where the cab came to a screeching stop, Mary pounding on the hood with open palm:

"I'm Walkin' Here!"

meg said...

Dave in Parma-the best! (as well as an acknowledgment that most of the Mary Worth crowd has probably seen that movie).

Anonymous said...

heydave, I think you nailed it! No doubt - Ken will somehow manage to throw Mary to safety and take the hit himself. Can't wait for Sunday's strip to see Uncle Joe's depiction of a funeral!

DaveSF said...

Sure would be exciting though if our protagonist landed in the ICU after devastating, life-threatening injuries. Imagine the floating heads as Mary drifts in and out of morphine-induced consciousness (hopefully blaming K2 for pushing her into traffic in the first place--new insurance policy?)

Nance said...

@heydave--I'm going with your plot. And guess who will provide the cake for the small friends' gathering held at Promise Haven? John Dill, whose pink The Beauty Of Broadway cake is a huge hit.

Mar said...

Are we sure the silhouette is Ken? Perhaps it is a new rescuer and we'll have a love - quadrangle now. How exciting!