Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Mary Worth 1804

"Yes, Wilbur is such a wonderful customer. Each of the partially eaten hamburgers on my shirt is a tribute to him. I don't know how I can keep up with his appetite, seeing as how I am so understaffed!"

Today's Full Strip


Yahoonski said...

Truly Jerry's shirt is a Rorshach test. Where Wanders sees passive hamburgers being eaten, I see ravenous numerals devouring blood meals so they can complete their metamorphoses; e.g., the fat number 3 on Jerry's right breast in the first panel has consumed the pickle or olive or whatever and is well on its way to transforming into a simple crescent shape in the second panel.

KitKat said...

That's a full-length robe, not a shirt. Jerry is a wizard, perhaps The Wizard of Sandwiches. No wonder Wilbur is one of his favorite customers.

Won't Jerry's be a lovely setting for Iris and Wilbur's wedding reception?

Nance said...

Add "handshake" to the things that JG finds difficult to draw.

meg said...
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meg said...
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meg said...

Tales of the Charterstone Mafia, based on a comment from TimP

The Godmother, Chapter I

The scene: the Charterstone gazebo, at dusk.

Mary sits at the picnic table, flanked by Wilbur and Toby, standing in the shadows..

Ian Cameron approaches.

"Mary, ye auld lassie, I crave a wee bit o' --"

"Ian, get to the point ye gret glaikit gomeral! And speak English."

"Godmother, I ask a favor of you. My last spoken dialog in the strip was in September of 2006, when I warned Aldo Kelrast off you. I used to be a player, and now I'm just the fat guy in a Hawaiian shirt once a year at the pool party. People even refer to me as ChinBeard instead of as Professor Ian Cameron."

"Ian, it is true you have been neglected by Moy and Giella. And it is true that you were a friend to me in my time of need. Go now, and wait until you are summoned."

"Thank you, Godmother." Ian backs out of The Presence, bowing as he goes.

Mary nods to Wilbur, who comes close as Mary whispers into his hairy ear. "Yes, Godmother, it will be as you say."

Santa Royale Whig Herald:

Karen Moy is Missing!
Miss Moy has not been heard from since she was seen getting into a pink Pinto. Her family says this is uncharacteristic, and that she is not a substance abuser, except for maybe a little gin every hour. Santa Royale PDDS* are investigating.

Karen Moy Returned Unharmed!
Miss Moy refuses to discuss her disappearance, says she just wants to get back to writing her strip.

Worth Strip Features New Story
Professor Ian Cameron, formerly of Santa Royale Junior Community College, has accepted a position as bouncer at Santa Royale Ruff n Ready Disco. His first night on the job features an encounter with the children of his neighbors at Charterstone. Ian must kick them out and then call their parents. The ensuing resolution plays out over many months and involves characters who haven't been seen for years. Ian is in his pompous element.

*Police Department and Donut Squad

meg said...

The Godmother, Chapter II

A young man approaches Mary, bowing humbly in her magnificent presence.

"Godmother, my name is Tom Harpman. I live with my wife and her mother. It is a bad situation. My mother-in-law never gives us a moment's privacy. And she orders my wife and me to cook and clean and play pinochle with her at all hours of the day and night."

"I remember you, Tom. You were a lonely bachelor workaholic who ate nothing but hot dogs. And now you're married to a hard-working excellent cook who's an earner, and you have company any time you want it. Only one favor to a customer, and you've already had yours! Get out of here! And give my regards to Elinor."

Tom slinks out. Mary gives Toby a look, and Toby nods sagely.

Santa Royale Whig Herald:
Tom Harpman, the hardest-working man at Charterstone Condominium Complex, has been transferred to Bug Tussle, Texas. His wife, romance novelist Beth Kinley, and his mother-in-law will join him there. The trio will live in a double-wide mobile home in the Lone Star Trailer Park, out on Route 34, just south of Honey Grove. This family is on their way.

meg said...

The Godmother, Chapter III

Next, a young man with a swinging blond bob and an orange tee-shirt walks up to Mary.

"Hi, Mrs. Worth, I sure do like your blueberry pie and your blueberry muffins! Can I stop over for a snack later? And as long as I'm here, can I talk about a problem I have with my mom?"

"Yes, Tommy Beedie, but make it snappy. I have a family to run here."

Tommy begins:

"Every morning about this time
Mom gets me out of my bed a-crying
Get a job

After breakfast every day
She throws the want ads right my way
And never fails to say
Get a job

And when I get the paper
I read it through and through
And my mom never fails to say
If there is any work for me

And when I go back to the house
I hear my mother's mouth
Preaching and a-crying
Tell me that I'm lying
About a job
That I never could find."

"So what do you think I should do, Mrs. Worth?"

Mary smiles. And says, "Hit it, kids!"

Wilbur and Toby:

"Dip dip dip dip dip dip dip,

Mum mum mum mum mum mum,


Tommy skulks out.

Later that week:

Tommy boards a plane, heading to Viet Nam and a job as assistant to Dr. Drew Cory. He's very excited because he thinks he will be working with the host of his favorite TV show, The Price is Right (But that would be Drew Carey).

Gina said...

Meg wins the Internet.

KitKat said...

@meg, Karen Moy must be beside herself with envy. You rock, girl!

Dave in Parma said...

(great hidden message!)

Of course Jerry loves Wilbur as a customer. how else would he be able to afford such avant garde fashion?!

Anonymous said...

I see a Giella tribute to Pacman on the shirt

fauxprof said...

The Winnah: my main girl, Meg!

Hey, maybe Jerry can train Tommy as a sandwich artiste, while working on his fashion sense.

TimP said...

Holy cow, Meg. Those are hilarious. I wish I could take credit for the Charterstone Mafia concept, but I'm certain I picked it up on the Comics Curmudgeon site.

meg said...

In my Elvis voice: Thankew, thankew vera much.

kathyo said...
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