Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Mary Worth 1851

I can't decide whose performance is better this morning. Dr. Kapuht does a great job summoning that little girl to him. No doctor in the history of medicine has ever said, "Come here." Maybe, "Let's have a look at you." Or, "Have a seat on the table." But Dr. Kapuht takes bedside manner to a whole new horrifying level.

However, Mother Evy's fury at her daughter's noncompliance is perhaps unmatched. Her eyes go completely white, à la Linda Blair in the Exorcist. Fortunately, Olive can call down the wrath of God at any moment. An epic battle between the Sons of Darkness and the the Sons of Light right there in Dr. Kapuht's examine room would be hard to outdo.

26 comments:

KitKat said...

Wanders, I second your idea of an epic battle! Who wouldn't want to see the flower fairies and pink angel pummeling Dr. Kapuht? They should slap around Evy and Ed, too.

Not only can Dr. Kapuht make his mustache appear and disappear, he's wearing a magic necktie. Sunday it had blue and black stripes, Monday it was all black, and today it's a black and white tweed.

Incidentally, I don't wish to belittle a child's real fears. I still remember my tonsillectomy at age 5. A VERY mean nurse was awful, and she scared the heck out of me. Wanders, I hope all the medical personnel you encounter when you have your procedure are the absolute souls of kindness.

Nance said...

I like how Dr. Kapuht keeps his grey cookbooks safely behind glass. Classy guy.

Olive shouldn't be so freaked out by morphing doctors who say strange stuff. After all, look at her dad.

I Am Not A Robot said...

Okay, enough already. We get it. Olive is freaked out by Dr. Kapuht. And Evy/Ed are as unsympathetic as usual. Move on please.

(I wonder if Moy is living out a childhood trauma since she is so stuck on this.)

LouiseF said...

The horrified look on Ed's face redeems him a bit for me. I sure would not want my kid pawed over by a leering look-alike of John McLaughlin (of McLaughlin Group--talk show--fame). . .

kyapiphi said...

I had so hoped for "Aldo Redux" on Sunday...was disappointed at the disappearing 'stache Monday and then put out by them changing the Sunday strip to remove it...seriously?

heydave said...

Dr. Kapuht surely has a German accent, ja?

Eddie, you'd better back up Evy's slamming, or something bad might happen. Tee hee.

Carlye said...

What kind of doctor says, "Come here, little girl?" I was always told to run the other way from guys who said things like that.

Anonymous said...

I think Ed's horrified look is more because of Olive's bad behavior than because of Dr. Kapuht.

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

Come here Little Girl and sit on my lap. I have a sucker for you.

Sandi Ego said...

You know, I've heard that many pedophiles gravitate to the field of Pediatric Torso Cyst Surgery Specialist so they can molest children right in front of their uncaring parents. Kudos to Moy for her PSA.

Pete Farmer said...

Tomorrow: we learn that Dr. Kapuht's examination room is a beat-up Chevy van with blacked-out windows.

Peggy Olson said...

The comments today are less family-friendly than usual but, really, what other direction can you go with the reprehensible adults in this storyline? Moy is forcing us to think vile thoughts - and must be stopped!

You know, our city has an amazing Children's Hospital that treats all kids with great care and patience. Mountview, however, is starting to resemble the asylum from American Horror Story.

Shmoopie said...

Wanders, my thoughts will be with you tomorrow, and I hope all will go well and un-Worthiversian with your procedure. I might however get distracted sending good thoughts your way since my dog is going under the knife as well. He needs a lipoma removed - ON HIS TORSO! M&G are freaking me out!!!

Unknown said...

This is starting to have more pedophilic undercurrents than a practice session of the Sistine Chapel Jr. Boys Choir . . . .

Laura Canon said...

I'm seriously considering hanging this up at the medical school where I work. I think it would freak the students out.

Hospital Hi-Fi said...

why is Dr. Kahput pinching her tiny little arm? That looks painful!

All the adults in that room are psycho! And where did Mary go? Right now would be a GREAT time for her to reappear and lighten up the mood with her fake nose and funny glasses! Or not.

fauxprof said...

WEDNESDAY

Evy: come back tomorrow!? What, another vacation day lost to this attention-grabbing little brat? I'll bet she grew that cyst out of spite!

Ed: Yeah, I didn't realize how annoying she's gotten, since I have to spend so much time at the hospital. Between the malpractice suits and the hostile work environment claims....

Dr. Kapuht: oh, I know what you mean! I have the same problems here. That's why the only assistant I can get is the old hag with the Groucho nose and glasses.

Ed: Hey, that gives me an idea! If we sign the papers today, we can get the old Worth biddy to bring her in. That way we can get back to...reconnecting.

Evy: Tee-hee! Oh, Eddie.

I Am Not A Robot said...

Bravo @fauxprof! Well said!

So, what is going to be the upshot of all this horror Olive is experiencing in the presence of Dr. Kapuht? Her psychic ability is warning her that he is actually the devil incarnate? He performs these cystectomies without washing his hands? The suspense is building and I can hardly wait to see what it leads to... (yawn).

Yahoonski said...

I think the doc's odd 2-hole clipboard is just playing upon Olive's obsessive-compulsive tendencies. "How will it ever hang straight on a single hook?" she wonders. And next thing you know, it's a full-blown anxiety attack.

KitKat said...

It's reassuring that Mountview Hospital hasn't jumped on the electronic medical record bandwagon. No computers in sight, just a metal clipboard in the hands of the uber-creepy Dr. Kapuht. Retro, isn't it? Maybe tomorrow Dr. Kildare and Dr. Gillespie will walk by.

Another great thing about Mountview Hospital is the "no waiting" policy. See the strange doc today, have surgery tomorrow, and with no pesky pre-admission testing.

Mike in Cleveland said...

Dear Wanders,

I hope your surgery was successful today. This seems to have been the summer for it--myself, so many in my family, and you too. Get well soon.

Tonight, however, Olive will have another visit from the angel, warning her not to have the cyst removed for that is where all her Midi-Chlorians live. She will then run away and hop a bus to Goleta.

birdie said...

I think she'll run away in the middle of the night, and land in the pool.

It's probably asking too much for her to be rescued by a dragon. I'd be happy for her just to be rescued by a hobo, if he will adopt her and get her away from the creepiest parents ever.

birdie said...

Thinking of you today, Wanders!

Ken's Orange Overcoat said...

I hope your procedure today(?) is/was easy-peasy, Wanders!

Anonymous said...

Wanders, I hope your surgery went very well and that you recover quickly!

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

Dear Wanders,

Best wishes for a speedy recovery!

xx oo

As for the strip, I am really diggin' Dr. Kapuht's maniacal facial expression today! "Dr. Kapuht will take care of you!" -- I bet!

I think that Olive will lose her ESP if the cyst is removed. Mary will bemoan Olive's lost imagination while serving up slices of ghost pie and/or pinkcake to Olive and her parents, and maybe (please, please, please) also to Toby Cameron, whom we haven't seen in MONTHS!