The way Mary keeps calling their prescriptions "items," I get the impression their items are not just simple statins. I'm dying to know what embarrassing things she picked up, and why is Karen Moy protecting their privacy?
Today's Full Strip
Hanna reluctantly agrees to make a trial visit to Somerset. She arrives, as instructed, in the early evening, after dinner, and is assigned a room with another would-be newbie, one Anna Belle.The matron, Mrs. Ratchett, advises them that they will be able to use the running shuttle the next morning, after breakfast, and that she will awaken them. The following morning, the klaxon on the wall of the apartment sounds at 6am. Immediately thereafter, Mrs. Ratchett pounds on their door, shouting, Dingdon! Belle! Dingdon! Belle! Time to get up. Breakfast in 10 minutes!Breakfast that day was prune juice, shredded wheat and Sanka. "Dingdon! Belle! The shuttle leaves in 7 minutes. You must be in front of the building at least 5 minutes before!"Hanna is waiting when the shuttle pulls up out front. It is a VW beetle. Anna (Belle) is a no-show. "Where are we going?"asks Hanna in a somewhat querulous voice. The driver, a Charlie Manson lookalike, laughs madly. "We're going wherever I want to! First, the Olde Keg Tavern, then to the Quicky Mart for some cigs, and finally a stop at the auto parts store to pick up some new brakes for this beast. I'll be installing them in the driveway this afternoon, and I'll be wearing a wife-beater if any of you ladies care to watch. Mwahahahhahaha."Later on, Hanna calls Mary. "How was Somerset, Hanna?""Mary, it was unbelievable- you MUST go for a visit- there's no charge, and they'll even give you breakfast."Mary: "Sounds great! I'm on my way over there now. You say they provide breakfast- and it's free?"Hanna smiles to herself and drives away to Food Team in her yellow car, narrowly missing Wilbur on his Segway.
I imagine Moy was too lazy to think of some sort of condition for Hanna.I mean, that's really easy to do. Just say she has arthritis. You don't have to research illnesses to find some deep dramatic condition she may have.
Are we to believe that Mary doesn't already know all about Meals on Wheels, Access vans, and every other senior program in Santa Royale?My bet is she whips out her AARP card for every discount available -- even those 4:00 pm salibury steak dinners at Bum Boat.
Hanna: thank you for picking up my item, Mary. Items are so important to me now that I don't drive.Mary: well, yes, Hanna, but I can't make a regular thing of picking up items for you. On-site meddling and advice, that's what I prefer. I can't keep exerting myself like this.Hanna: oh, I didn't mean to be a bother, I just thought...Mary: I've already had my exertion for this year, jumping into the pool at midnight to save Olive..and last year I helped John Dill move that heavy cake. This can't go on, so I have an excellent opportunity for you...which you'll take if you know what's good for you.Hanna: it's just a prescription for crying out loud, and you were going to CVS anyway!Mary: Today a prescription, tomorrow a can of green beans and a baking potato! I must preserve myself for Charterstone's sake, not to mention Mountview and "Ask Wendy". You, Hanna Dingdon, must go into assisted living, where underpaid STNAs can see to your precious "items".Hanna: you know best, Mary. Meanwhile, let me atone with a nice cup of tea...let me just stir it for you, (with a nice measure of my late husbands leftover sleeping pills, heh, heh.)
Mary looks like she popped a couple of items on her way over to Hanna's and now she's hallucinating that Hanna looks like Diane Keaton.
Hilarious comments today - thank you, everyone!When Mary left Drug Store on Tuesday, she was carrying only one small bag, just like the one she's handing Hanna today. Pharmacies don't put prescriptions for multiple people in the same bag, so it seems that Meddling Mary is up to no good. She's in such a rush to move Hanna out of Charterstone, she may be tampering with Dingdon's drugs. Does Mary have her eye on Hanna's apartment, or did she already rent to a new meddle-lee?
The perfect laugh exercises to go along with my lunch today. . .You should all be writing screenplays .. or trying out to replace Karen Moy. . ..Thanks!
Mary looks so refreshed and young - wait, it's Renee Zellweger!
Certainly it was no trouble at all. Mary simply went to Pharmacy and looked for the aisle marked ITEMS.Easy Peasy.
Hmmm... I'm just putting two and two together here, but before Mary left, Hanna Dingdon said that Amy would be dropping Gordon off for a few hours. Now that Mary has delivered the "item" (the "package" in spy parlance), Amy has already picked up Gordon. Did it take Mary hours to go to the drug store and back? What is Mary really up to? Inquiring Charterstone residents want to know!
This Somerset place sounds like Stepford, Connecticut. Mary's friend Felicia talks like a Stepford wife. "I'm living in contentment at Somerset." Only a robot would say that.
What if Mary got the items mixed up, and Hanna takes Mary's pills and Mary takes Hanna's? Or if they don't get mixed, and Hanna takes too many pills because she can't see what she's doing? There is a pill story a-coming here. Like Chekhov's gun...
FridayIf Somerset is such a paradise, why doesn't MARY move there? She would have a ton of victims who are ripe for meddling.I must say, I admire Hanna's gumption (though she really needs an appearance upgrade!). She has tried to stand up to Amy about being used as a spur-of-the-moment babysitter, and she's resisting Mary's attempt to maneuver her into a "senior ghetto." Hanna rocks! Unfortunately, we all know that Mary will break Hanna's will in the end.
That previous comment was from me - darn unreliable autofill!
Actuallly, I think Mary has overplayed her hand here. . .The fact that she is enthusiastically bending Hanna's ear about Somerset (what a name--Somerset=Sunset=Death. . .)while standing at the door, still in her gloves and purse looks like she is trying to shove Hanna out of Charterstone in a hurry. We COULD have had a week of Mary and Hanna slurping coffee, eating cake and casually discussing the possibility of moving to Somerset. Instead Mary looks pushy. I don't think she likes Hanna much. . .
This has crossed the line into Elder Bullying. If Mary truly cared she would've driven Hanna to the ophthalmologist weeks ago. Instead, Mary is pushing her to lose her car, her home, and her independence. Quite contrary, Mistress Mary.
Hanna- please tell Mary that you can just call a taxi if you need transportation. No need to shell out 80grand a year for a running shuttle.
Kmoy sincerely believes that HIPPA is the most important legislation of all time!
SaturdayMary descends to a new low in bullying. Is she on the Somerset payroll? Kudos to Hanna for pointing back at The Meddler. Unfortunately, this will likely end with Hanna loving Somerset and being endlessly grateful to Mary, whose smugness will skyrocket.
It seems like this strip is pushing an agenda of privatization for dealing with the elderly. If Santa Royale had good public transportation, Hanna wouldn't need to drive anywhere or depend on anyone else.
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