Thursday, July 30, 2015

Mary Worth 2113

My father is notorious for inviting unexpected guests for dinner, much to my mother's consternation. Sometimes, the guests have been destitute and homeless. I don't know where they came from, but a few guests have become part of our family folklore. Like the man who snuck off into the kid's bathroom and smoked a joint, and then came back to the table and barfed. So, you can imagine my nervousness at Director Berkes coming for dinner. Better lock up your liquor cabinet, Toby.

Today's full strip


KitKat said...

Wanders, your family anecdote made me laugh out loud. If only Hilton Berkes would do that at the Camerons' place.

Idiotic Ian: "I'm doing this for BOTH of us! Once Toby bats her eyelashes at the new director, I may at last get tenure AND promotion!"

I see this scenario: Toby, who can barely open a package of Stouffer's macaroni and cheese and put it in the microwave, is horrified at the prospect of a dinner guest. She calls Mary in desperation. Mary offers to defrost a vegetarian terrine, salmon squares, and kelk meringues (her freezer is always stocked) as long as she's invited to the dinner. Hilton becomes smitten with Mary as soon as he lays eyes on her. There will then be four months of Mary behaving coyly and wondering if she should finally dump Dr. Jeff. "Tee hee, oh Hilton!"

fauxprof said...

I bet KitKat has nailed the forthcoming story. The alternative is that Hilton becomes smitten with Toby, and Ian goes into a smoldering fit of jealousy. (Hey, with a name like"Hilton", maybe he's Director of Student Housing, in charge of the Dorms?)

Nance said...

I guess we're supposed to believe that "University Director" is KM's attempt at making Hilton Berkes the Boss Of Everything at Ian's job. He is angling for a Big Promotion, and he is sucking up by inviting HB home for dinner and a Charterstone Tour.

Which will go on for weeks and weeks with no Drama at all like KitKat described because Mary Worth, everyone! Come on! They'll sit at the table and ... the end. Sigh.

At least JG gets to draw someone different for a while. We haven't seen Toby in a panel series in a good long while.

Anonymous said...

Oh, they'll be 'having' him alright. Once Ian and Toby have devoured his heart and eyes and liver, they'll absorb his strength and powers! It's obvious that Ian's been eating his way to the top.

LouiseF said...

Maybe Ian has been moonlighting in the admissions department for Charterstone since he didn't get tenure at University. I suspect he is looking forward to a big commission when Hilton Berkes moves in. Can't wait to hear Ian's "rap" about Charterstone as he wows Hilton Berkes with the condo features...Pool parties a plus!

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

The only promise this story holds is for a long overdue appearance by Chin Napkin.

meg said...

LouiseF- you say you want to hear Ian rap?

We welcome you to our happy home
In the paradise known as Charterstone
Everyone who lives here is past their prime
Except my lovely wife- ain't she fine?

There's an old bag living here
She's the unofficial manager
She's sure to invite you for a meal
Don't eat it or it'll make you ill

And by the way, they never gave
Me the tenure that I so crave
(It's all because I dumped my first wife,
So I could marry the love of my life)

Are you through with your chow?
If so, I'll play the bagpipe now
No, wait, don't run away,
You're gonna like it when I play

Dammit, Toby, see what you've done!

Carlye said...

Wanders, we have similar stories in our family. My mother was always picking up people on the street and inviting them over to dinner. My Mom and Dad gave up booze completely in the 70's, and one desperate alcoholic went to the bathroom and drank the mouthwash.

KitKat said...

@meg at 12:27 p.m., you never cease to amaze!

LouiseF said...

meg--I was proably thinking "spiel" from Ian, but what you wrote is inspired. Complete with an outburst against Toby!!

meg said...

Tee hee, oh girls!

Anonymous said...

What could be fun is if Hilton no-shows for dinner at Ian's condo. We could then see Ian wet his pants and start freaking out.