Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Mary Worth 2236

When you re-encounter an old crush, one of two things will happen. You'll either start singing Garth Brooks' "Unanswered Prayers," or your heart will get stomped on all over again. Mary has completely used John Dill to entertain little Olive and now all that remains are a few parting gifts and his tears. Inside each muffin, John has carefully baked a note hand-scribed with this message, "I will love you forever. Please call me. 202-555-CAKE."

Unfortunately, Mary and Olive are about to donate the muffins to the faithful hobo. Ultimately, the hobo will get a job at the bakery, thus fulfilling Olive's food service vision. Funny how things seem to work out.

Today's full strip


KitKat said...

Note the desperate look on Mary's face as she gives JD the bum's rush. She's stuffing Olive's kisser with cookies to prevent her from saying something like, "But Mary, Mommy and Daddy didn't make prior arrangements with us! They told us to stay out of the apartment as long as possible. Daddy even gave me $20 to spend on dinner!"

I'm so ticked that we didn't get to see Chef Pierre, a Telly Savalos look-alike named Pete wearing a stained apron and smoking a cigar (and dropping ashes on JD's cakes).

Delilah said...

In today's installment, Mary will be portrayed by the late John Houseman.

Toots McGee said...

I see that Olive couldn't restrain herself after several awkward hours(?) of listening to John Dill's fawning before she finally decided to tuck into one of those muffins.

My experience is that the term "parting gifts" has only been used in the game show milieu. Karen Moy is an innovator in the use of language!

Nance said...

I agree with Toots McGee. "Parting Gifts" is always preceded by the adjective "lovely" and always includes a Lifetime Supply of something like Turtle Wax, Rice a Roni, or Gravy Master.

No way Olive isn't flossing after eating those cookies. Ugh, that arm hair.

fauxprof said...

@Nance, I always wondered what one would do with a lifetime supply of turtle wax. I've never felt the need to wax a turtle.

Mary's dismissal of poor, creepy John Dill is one of the most cold and arrogant statements I've ever read. Translation: "Yes, John, I have deigned to you a bit of my time here is New York. Be grateful for my brief presence in your worthless life, and do not presume upon my gracious condescension."

Anonymous said...

LOL @ Fauxprof, except I read it as 'condensation'

KitKat said...

Mary hasn't even mentioned Dear Old Shelly Cohen, much less visiting her. Is she stiffing her, along with Ken Kensington? Cold and arrogant indeed.

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

If, like me, you enjoy reading “Mary Worth” out loud and shouting out the words in bold—I know you love it!—then you enjoyed Dill’s commentary today. But Mary’s comments need some more emphasis, please!

Mary: “Thanks! We enjoyed our visit! You’ve been generous with your time! It’s good to see you doing so well, John!” ... “There’s never enough time, is there? We have to make the most of what we’re given.”

Olive: “Oh, brother!

John Dill: “Farewell, for now, dear lady!”

carlnepa said...

I was upset yesterday about how Mary used John Dill to entertain Olive and to provide a free afternoon of babysitting for both of them. I didn't want to betray the family friendly nature of this blog so I deleted my comments. It's clear she's not interested in further "socializing" with John, but he's good enough to stuff their maws with free food. Grrrrrr
And do Mary and Olive ever change clothes?

KitKat said...

Mary: "He deserves PERSONAL HAPPINESS, too! Just not with me...!"

I'm guessing that the inclusion of their surnames indicates that John Dill has been consigned to the Karen Moy dustbin. He'll bump around with Dr. Adrian Cory Hewlett and her husband, Scott, along with many others.

The levitating papers are messages from the Flower Fairies for Olive.

Sharon said...

Wednesday: Now, with whom will John Dill share PERSONAL HAPPINESS? The contenders could include not only those whom we have met, albeit briefly, during Mary's protracted stay in New York (Phantom's Daughter; Turbanned Texter; Faithful Panhandler), but those whom we have yet to see (Ken Kensington; Dear Old Shelly Cohen). My money's on Shelly.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it Dear Friend Shelly Cohen? I thought it was DFSC.

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

@KitKat: Don't forget Nola Wolvenson! She was the best ever! And Jill Black! We could use some of her chutzpah in the Worthiverse!

Today, they forgot to print some of the dialogue:
Olive: "He's a nice man ... and very talented! He won't be alone for long! His French accent leaves a lot to be desired, though ..."

KitKat said...

Out to dinner! Could this be an indication that Mary is about to end her visit? Wherever they go, the food will be unrecognizable and unappetizing.

Re panel 2, didn't anyone ever tell Ed and Evy it's rude to play with one's food?

Chester the Dog said...

Well, well. Ed and Tee-Hee Evy sure did work up an appetite this afternoon, didn't they?

They are eating out again?

A total waste of money and poor Olive is one step closer to being labelled "Type 2" with all the sugary crap she shovels in!