Monday, August 8, 2016

Mary Worth 2371

Dr. Alopecian probably knows what he's doing. After all, his medical diploma is as legible as his handwriting.

Today's full strip

24 comments:

carlnepa said...

What the heck?!?!? Who comes up with these names: Dr. Kaput, Dr. Alopecia, who's next Dr.
Eczema?

Toots McGee said...

The only test that doctor is going to run involves running Tommy's name through a statewide database to find out if he is doctor shopping.

fauxprof said...

Step one: Doctor shopping. Look, Tommy, you're in the database now, and there are safeguards in place to detect exactly what you're trying to pull. Maybe not in Santa Royale, though.

Regina The NY Diva said...

Panel 1: Wanders, is that you? Hope you didn't get your medical license from the same place as Dr. Kaphut and Dr. Redi-med.

Chester the Dog said...

Maybe if the doctor looked at his clipboard with his eyes open, he could diagnose his patient a little better.

Tests?

Dr: Does it hurt when you do this?
Tommy: Yes!
Dr: Then don't do it.

smooth said...

I believe that Mary has the only computing machine in all of Santa Royale, thus making it impossible for Dr. Alopecian to check up on old Tommy. Unless, of course, he has his suspicions and asks Dear Wendy for help.

KitKat said...

What kind of tests would they run? Have Tommy try to lift a series of boxes of increasing weights? And, does Tommy have medical insurance to pay for these visits and the prescriptions?

June's framed artwork of green stuff continues the tradition of Joe's portraits of shrubbery.

Nance said...

Around here, Dr. Alopecian would recommend Tylenol or Aleve and then prescribe six weeks of physical therapy.

I'm guessing that Tommy's Little Problem will ruin Thanksgiving (for all of us!) and stretch uncomfortably into Christmas, with or without Mary's Expert Assistance.

Gina said...

Tommy overacts? You're KIDDING.

LouiseF said...

Didn't Tommy do time for drugs already? He'll be coming up on a list alright, and it will be the list of felony ex-offender drug dealers. Prescribing an opiate to someone with his history makes as much sense as issuing a gun license to someone on that "Watch" list.

Anonymous said...

Dr Feelgood, please DO NOT write this script. It will doom us to another 2 weeks of Tommy lying in bed talking about how relaxed he is and then the next month going through the withdrawal thing all over again when the big dummy runs out of pills.
Send him on his way with some baby asperin and directions to the Santa Royale gun mart. Tommy with a gun could actually be interesting.

Laura Canon said...

I work at a med school and this is one of the basic patient scenarios we run for the students. The key here is that Tommy is in withdrawal. Most doctors will not allow patients to continue in withdrawal, because it's considered unethical not to relieve patient suffering. They will write a prescription for a week's supply or so, and ask the patient to return to discuss getting help or alternatives to pain meds. I'm not sure what direction the story here is going to go in, but it would not be unusual for a doctor to give Tommy at least some pain meds.

fauxprof said...

I'm trying to analyze why I hate this story line. I think it's because by portraying Tommy as such an unsympathetic character (I.e. A weak-willed lazy slacker with criminal tendencies) Moy trivializes the very serious problem of prescription drug addiction. Many of the people who fall into this trap are ordinary, decent and well-meaning. It's often a "there but for the grace of God go I" scenario. And it doesn't get solved by a platitude or two from a silver haired meddler. End of rant. Sorry. I'll be back with something snarky on another day.

Anonymous said...

My dad was a doctor, and Chester, that'd exactly what he would say to us! "Daddy, it hurts when I swallow." "So, don't swallow!" Thanks for a smile at a good memory of Dad!!

Anonymous said...

Tommy sure looks natural hunched over with his hands behind his back. I am so hoping he is going to be arrested, cuffed and stuffed in a cell with a guy named Moose who likes to be the big spoon.

Maybe he is hiding a knife behind his back and is going to force the doctor to open the Vicadin locker.

Tommy "I need Vicadin."
Doctor "Are you sure you don't want the Oxy or the Percocet? Maybe some of the morphine lollipops?"
Tommy "?????"
Doctor. "They are all in the same locker, I really don't want any trouble. Take anything you want."
Doctor "Did you just cut yourself with that knife? Really, you are bleeding all over the place. Tommy, look down. It's your own blood."
Doctor "Are you taking a nap? Jerry told me you were the guy who didn't clean up the brown house accident I left all over the men's room. He's right, you are a slacker."

Petunia said...

I see that Dr. Alopecian has purchased some of Toby's cylindrical grey sculptures for his office, and a photo of one of Mary's plants. I do hope that Tommy has remembered to tell the doctor that he is allergic to NSAIDs.

LouiseF said...

Thank you, fauxprof! The rendering of prescription drug addiction in Mary Worth is circa 1972. All we need is "Dragnet's" Joe Gannon, sadly shaking his head, with a ready spiel about getting "kids" "hopped up" on "pills" to complete the antique information being communicated in this strip. The addition of Mary will, no doubt, be in this vein. The real story about opiate addiction today is definitely not comics-ready...This is an epic fail for Karen Moy in the "public service" department.

Downpuppy said...

Joe Friday, not Bill Gannon.

I don't remember Gannon saying much of anything in lecture form. Of course, being old enough to remember Dragnet means I'm too old to remember breakfast.

It'll be fun if Adam&Terry bust some docs.

KitKat said...

Bravo to @fauxprof and her post of yesterday! Karen Moy has a knack (weakness, more like it) for taking a serious topic and trivializing the heck out of it. If Mary "solves" Tommy's problem with a couple of platitudes, we'll all be tearing our hair out.

Anonymous said...

Tommy, the answer to "the pain of everything" is nothing you can fix with Vicodin. The root cause of your misery is Tina baby dumping you.

You really need to get realistic here. She is a hot blond that is way out of your league. In fact, your league isn't even in the same zip code as hers. Look at yourself. You are a former drug addict. You did time in the cooler. You have a bad haircut and wear the same shirt for weeks on end. You are 30 and live with your mom. You couldn't pass the postal exam. You can't lift a 6 lb box without hurting yourself. And, you work a graveyard shift cleaning up accidents at Jerry's and even he thinks you are a slacker.

So, I would suggest getting a haircut, taking some classes with Dawn, getting a real job and getting your own pad. Guys with some coin in their pocket and a place to make out get girls like Tina. (BTW- I'm picking her up at 8:00 tonight for our date.)

I know, it's a lot of work to be a grown up.

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

@Anonymous: YESSS! Tommy, DAWN awaits!

Anonymous said...

DWET
Imagine Wilber walking into Dawns room and catching the two of them making out. I'm giddy just thinking about it.

Moss_Moses said...

Tommy and Dawn are made for each other! They are a couple of losers, one unlucky at love and the other just plain weak willed. They go together like a mop and bucket, with Tommy's mop top and Dawn's bowl cut!

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