Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Mary Worth 2549

Ah hah! This story is about more than just sailing into the Bermuda Triangle! It's about giving up cigarettes. Hopefully nothing stressful will happen to the Hoosiers from Kentucky on this trip. My advice? Avoid the old lady in front of you.

True story: Mrs. Wanders and I celebrated our first anniversary at the Kentucky State Fair in 1993. As a native Californian, I was stunned to see that it seemed like the biggest 4-H Club exhibit at this HUGE event was the how-to-grow-and-cure-tobacco-so-teenagers-can-start-smoking-and-die-young exhibit. Then there were horses.

13 comments:

fauxprof said...

Most cruise lines these days have extremely restrictive smoking policies. I know of at least one line that will put a guest off at the next port if they're caught smoking. Others only allow it only on a small portion of an outside deck, usually aft, and usually populated by fat old men with disgusting cigars. Derek is better off quitting, as is everyone.

Anonymous said...

June must have seen the comments, yesterday, about Mrs. Hoosier looking like an adolescent boy. I see she's added earrings today.

Anonymous said...

Queue up "Smoke on the Water" on the jukebox.

Nance said...

Holy crap. Where in the heck does she get these names? Beedies, Hoosiers...?

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "Nagging, Commercials, And A PSA: How Romantic!".

Derek Hoosier! Cigarettes?!
Promised quit! Dying, keep!
Own good.



KitKat said...

@Anonymous at 8:49 AM, not only earrings, but multiple piercings! Maybe some day soon Toby will show up sporting a nose piercing.

Remembering the speculation yesterday that Katie Darling Hoosier's short hair might indicate a cancer-related plot, Derek's comment today about dying may be extremely tactless.

meg said...

Jewel thieves. Hold onto your studs, girls.

Chester the Dog said...

Who ARE these people?

Chester the Dog said...

This is a job for......ASK WENDY!!!

Anonymous said...

Maybe the "bargain" cruise is actually a "Boot Camp" cruise where the passengers will be forced to perform maintenance on the ship (painting, cleaning, etc.) and Mary will be forced to cook for the crew.

Toots McGee said...

Maybe Karen Moy will be using a Love Boat style plot and we will be introduced to at least two more groups of "cruisers", each with a story that will unfold during the cruise. I'm hoping so because I'm not holding out hope for a passable story about Derek Hoosier and his tobacco addiction.

Granted, if Karen tries to juggle multiple stories, we probably won't even get to the Bahamas before Christmas. Also, Mary and Toby would probably not be heard from again for a while. Maybe that's not such a bad thing?

re: smoking on cruises, as fauxprof states, it's very restricted. The exception to this on every cruise I've been on is the casinos. Those things are smoke-a-ramas. You can't spend more than ten minutes in one without your clothes and hair stinking like an ashtray.

My advice to Derek Hoosier is to develop an interest in gambling if he hasn't already done so. He can suck up enough second hand smoke to satisfy his craving. He can also lose the Hoosiers' nest egg in the process. Say, that might be a good story!

Anonymous said...

Over / Under on when this story loop ends....

Base date: Labor Day (Pool Party)

Who has what? I'll take on / over

Anonymous said...

EARTH TO MOY - EARTH TO MOY - NO ONE - NO ONE - BOLDED AND BOLDED AND BOLDED AGAIN... HAS EVER CALLED THEIR S.O. "DEAR" SINCE MAYBE 1930 OR 1940 .... SO STOP WITH THE "DEAR" WILL YOU? !!!

Mary Worth a.k.a. "Wendy" said...

Mary Worth's passive-aggressive comment of the day:
"There, there, dear Anonymous, why so peeved? We're off on a cruise! Isn't this FUN?"