For those of you who think nothing ever happens in the Sunday strip, hold on to your skullcap because your mind is about to explode.
First, Karen Moy googled "Self-Defense Quotes" to great results.
Of course, Connor McGregor is a mixed martial arts champion (the term "art" being applied very liberally here). And as we're about to see, even gray-haired old ladies can learn a thing or two from watching Fight Network, for those times when they have to fight off hormone-infused turtleneck wearing septuagenarians.
Oh no! What a horrible position to be in! Especially with her rheumatoid arthritis. But wait!
After a well-earned slap, Ted Miller finds himself fighting against Mary's powerful mind control as she telekinetically pushes Ted to the floor.
Where he lands...
...With a muffin on the top of his head!
Ha ha ha ha ha! Sexual assualt is so funny!