Tuesday, February 27, 2018

Mary Worth 2827

From outside the door: "Mary's Muffins is nothing without me! I'm the only reason you'll be giving out free samples on Saturday! If it weren't for me, your only customer would be Wilbur Weston! How do you plan to bake millions of muffins, and still have time to do all the marketing? Huh? How? Tell me that, baby. Now let me back in and we'll discuss roadside signage. Hello? Baby? ... Are you still there? Hello?"

15 comments:

Anonymous said...


She's still going ahead with this muffin business? Yikes.

Mary, you just dodged one bullet; don't let another get you. Quit while you're even.

-- Scottie McW.

P.S. Man, I wouldn't want to be Dr. Jeff anytime soon. Mary's going to blister his ears. Maybe she'll make him put fliers on windshields in the mall parking lot.

KitKat said...

Since Mary appears to be hitting the door with the outside of her hand, "OUCH!" might be more appropriate than "SLAM!"

Until she met Ted, oops, Ted Miller, Mary never contemplated marketing her muffins, so I'm skeptical she's going to pursue this. Who will help her? Ditzy Toby? Wilbur and Dawn, who would eat the inventory? If she does imove forward, maybe she can call them "Mary's Kickass Muffins."

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"...And The Door Of Opportunity Slams On Ted Miller".

See, speak!
Muffin business?
Solo! Goodbye!

fauxprof said...

Having been seduced by champagne wishes and caviar dreams (although not by Ted), Mary will go ahead with the Muffin Marketing idea. Ted will promptly sue her for breach of contract, especially if she shows up for the gig at Aileen’s. That’s about lame enough for a Baren Coy plot.

Chester the Dog said...

I dont think we'll ever see Mary's Muffins on the bottom shelf at 7-11 anytime soon.

Anonymous said...

I know this is family friendly blog, but when Mary says "I'm going solo with my muffins!" I almost spilled my morning coffee. Sometimes the snark just writes itself.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

When I saw the first panel I thought "Why is Mary pushing Ted in the closet?

I predict a stalking incident at Aileen's and another "capice". Ted Miller, get in your car and get some Jack Daniel's and head to the Aldo Kerast Memorial cliff.

Peggy Olson said...

Taking her muffins solo? Perhaps Mary is a fan of SNL and Betty White!
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/npr/n12810?snl=1

Nance, today's haiku is Worthy Award-worthy.

Anonymous said...

Ted's note to self: when pulling a con on an old lady DON'T sexually assault her, especially if she hasn't given you any investment money yet

meg said...

And so it came to pass, on the 25th day of February, 2018, in the Era of Teddeus Millerus (not Adamus Millerus), that the man bun became known, forevermore, as the Man Muffin.

Yahoonski said...

I too almost lost my morning coffee, Anonymous. Thank heaven she used the plural.

Nance said...

@Anonymous 10:31--Sometimes_the_snark_just_writes_itself is going to be my new WiFi password.

@Peggy Olson--Thank you so much. I love this gig.

Anonymous said...

Florence Dusty (Betty White) launched her "Dusty Muffins" in 2010.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/npr/n12810?snl=1

Richard Schmidt said...

well at least Ted got that pesky muffin off his head

LouiseF said...

Of course, the first response to occur to someone who has just been assaulted is to answer a question from the attacker on the other side of the door. ..I wanted to hear Mary shout,"Get out of my hallway NOW, before I start rapid-firing muffins at you, followed by a call to the police!" and, yes, I can imagine all of this text in BOLDFACE....