Monday, April 2, 2018

Mary Worth 2854

Really, Wilbur? Because Jeff doesn't know how anxious and abandoned you feel, and I know he'd love to hear it. Plus, we'd all love to hear you describe your feelings again. And to think we could have been in Italy with Harlan and Dawn! We dodged a bullet.

13 comments:

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Wilbur Realizes He Is Not Enough Of A Character To Dine With Jeff And Mary".

Dinner?
All right. Thanks.
Anytime. Within...thinking.

Anonymous said...


I imagine we all expected that we'd have something other than Wilbur's soul-sucking mopery to read this morning. Silly us.

Meanwhile in Beautiful Italy, absolutely nothing happened today, which was still infinitely more interesting than the death march in Santa Royale this past week.

-- Scottie McW.

Downpuppy said...

What, no ...coffee?!

Moy is punishing us for not appreciating her last 3 stories of abusers getting away with it. Now she gives us The Neverending Nonstory.

mr_darcy said...

For Sandi Ego, presenting Wilbur the Musical. And yes, "Wilbur" is now a verb.

Poor poor Wilburing me, poor poor Wilburing me.
All these girls just left me be.
What's the matter with me? Wo-o-oe is me.

I left my girl back in Charterstone
Saw the world, came back busted.
Should have known she wouldn't stay alone
I would know, I can't be trusted


Cuz I met a girl down in Bogota
I thought she was the answer
Bought the biggest ring that you ever saw
Kissing cousins, tango dancers


Well when I come home, daughter wants to talk
But I had to spy on Iris
Daughter's on a plane, now my life's a crock,
Gotta wonder, how and why this?

Tim said...


I kind of like how all you can see in that panel is Wilbur's combover. It effectively accentuates his pathetic ness.

LouiseF said...

Nice work, mr_darcy..You could make Wilbur even more of a verb by calling him "Wil-bore"...

Downpuppy said...

Alas, Mr Darcy, Zevon, like 3/5 of the Wilburys, is singing with the choir invisible, and Linda isn't singing at all.
Danny Devito is, of course, available.

fauxprof said...

Danny DeVito is far too vibrant to play Wilbur. So is Jason Alexander. And Wallace Shawn would rather drink wine laced with Iocane powder than take the role.

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

My choice to play Wilbur: J. Wellington Wimpy

KitKat said...

Being happy is within you?? Mary's advice is as bad as Wendy's. Bleah!

Maybe Faded and Forgotten Broadway Legend Ken Kensington is desperate enough to take on the role of Wilbur Weston.



Unknown said...

Charles Durning would have made a great Wilbur

Anonymous said...

Winter Storm Wilbur -- The National Weather Service must be reading Mary Worth! In order to make Wilbur feel loved, they've named this week's coming blizzard after him. W.S. Wilbur is expected to hit the Dakotas and MN tonight. Esp hard in RST, but Mpls will get a big, windy mess too.

DWET said...

Wilbur survived Lookout Point! YESSSSS!!!! Come on, Wilbur, go to dinner with Mary and Jeff! Mary's been so "nice" to you lately!