Thursday, April 19, 2018

Mary Worth 2867

So it turns out that Wilbur is a Nationally Syndicated Columnist, producing two columns, presumably weekly. Who knew? And now, given that Jesus said no prophet is accepted in his own country, he's about to develop an even bigger martyr complex than he already had.

I haven't posted much this week. This week our sewer backed up and soaked into several rooms, our vacuum went out, the AC went out, and the dryer stopped working. So I've been a little busy. Thank heaven for amazingly helpful neighbors.

20 comments:

Anonymous said...

Shame on you, Wanders! How can you complain about a few minor inconveniences when you compare them to what poor Wilbur is dealing with?

TimP said...

"They're cutting my columns? But, George, after all these years of mediocrity, why now?"

"Wilbur, times are tough across the industry and this is part of our strategic pivot to video. I'm sure you can understand why that would present ... certain issues in your case. Regardless, please be assured that this has nothing to do with the fact that our parent publishing company was recently purchased by a local twenty-something IT mogul."

meg said...

Dear Wilbur Weston:

We really enjoy your column, “I’m Alive, But I Shouldn’t Be.” And we agree.

I&Z, Santa Royale

Steve G said...

This may be some foreshadowing like The Soprano's....
KM got the call from North American Syndicate Inc:

NASI: All the papers are dropping Mary Worth
KM: But ... I get so many comments on "Mary Worth and Me"
NASI: We're doing what we can...

So KM creates a plot to introduce the concept.

Wilbur: When's all this happen?
Publisher Greg: It's already happened...

and Saturday's & Sunday Mary Worth strips are a single blank panel -

Leaving us to wonder... "Was Wilbur really Karen Moy?"

r u ok? said...

Wanders - I truly hope your situation is temporary and doesn't become a never-ending time-loop of badness like Wilbur's life has become.

So is Wilbur going to try his hand at becoming a YouTube star with his own video channel?

Anonymous said...


Condolences, Wanders. Glad to have you back. We all know the destruction . . . When Appliances Attack!

Meanwhile at a secluded campground, Zak and Iris frolic au naturel amidst the flora and become lost in the woods. This could get embarrassing.

RobC said...

At least YOUR week is better than Wilbur's...and more interesting.

Andrew Leal said...

Sympathy and glad it mostly worked out on the household stuff, Wanders.

I'm surprised that I somehow missed the point where Wilbur turned into a Ziggy whose blue-nosed dog ran away from him (the strip angles fortunately obscure his lack of pants). Oh, Wilbur. Can you ever win?

LouiseF said...

April is turning out to be a tough month for Wilbur. Bet he forgot to file his taxes on time too... As for you, M. Wanders, I suggest contacting MaryAnn Winkowski, the Ghost Whisperer. Sounds like you might have some creepy energy going on in your house.

fauxprof said...

Oh, Wanders, I can totally relate! Please accept my empathy. As to Wilbur, Karen Moy is channeling her own frustration about getting dropped from newspapers. I wonder if there’s a snarky blog called “Wilbur Weston and Me” that he misinterprets as fan mail.

Tim said...

Wait. Are my eyes working correctly? Is George actually holding his cell phone in a humanly possible way?

Neighborhood Insurance Agent said...

Sure hope your homeowner's policy included sewer and drain backup coverage.

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"George Adds To Wilbur's Suck-Ton Of Bummage".

Is?
Cutting!
Local paper? Tons! Do that?
Can...Local...Reader popularity...



Wanders--Yikes! I'm so sorry for your troubles.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I'm glad my hair and eye color aren't identical like George's. Of course, my hair is white...

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I'm still freaking out on the sized of Wilbur's hand in panel two. Not only has Wilbur had a sucky month, it looks like he's got an infection that's making that left hand grotesquely big.

May I suggest new jobs for Wilbur:

Sandwich sign guy for Subway (he may get a sandwich discount)
Circus Clown (particularly the clown that has to stand behind the elephant with the push broom)

And some strange ones from the pages of Elle Magazine:

Baby Name Consultant
Space Travel Agent
Chief Biscuit Dunker (Right up Wilbur's alley!)
Professional Apologizer (Perfect! He's been apologizing to Iris in the shower for the past week or two.)
Happiness Advocate (The way Wilbur's streak is going this may not be up his alley.)
Dog Surfing Instructor
Mattress Jumper
Nail polish namer

Just a few suggestions...feel free to add your own.

I predict after this phone call Wilbur will be back in the shower trying again to scrub away the stain of failure from his fat hairy body.

Yahoonski said...

Wanders, I sure hope you didn't lose anything that can't be replaced. And speaking of replacements, the local paper can save a lot by having Mary take over the column full-time. After all, she did it for nothing all those times Wilbur was away.

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

If we're looking for a new job for Wilbur, may I suggest deck hand on a submarine.

KitKat said...

Wanders and family, I'm very sorry to hear about your cascade of catastrophes - ugh! I hope things improve and stay that way.I can't help but wonder if the sewer backup was caused by a neighbor who showered way too much.

Tim said...

As for Wilbur's future maybe Peter Jackson needs a short, fat man to play a hobbit in future Tolkien movies.
Speaking of Wilbur there's something really weird about how he's drawn. He's extremely short. Everybody, including Iris, towers over him but he has a freakishly large head and bodybuilder arms.
Maybe he could become a professional arm wrestler.

Sandi Ego said...

Wanders, that sounds positively dreadful, though you might be able to turn your troubles into a country song!
Seriously, that sounds like an "I'm staying in a Residence Inn till this is over" situation.