Friday, August 31, 2018

Mary Worth 2963

Wide berth, Toby! Wide berth!

45 comments:

TimP said...

Mr. Allora needs to get going on those shrubs overgrowing the walls back there.

mr_darcy said...

Toby has disliked Mr Wynter since the day he and Ian reminisced about Betty Grable's gams.

Anonymous said...

From the direction and intensity of Mr. Wynter's gaze, he seems to be saying those two muffins are beautiful.

RobC said...

AUNT EM (Mary)
Afternoon Miss Gultch. I just made a fresh batch of muffins if you’ve a mind to sit awhile.

MISS GULCH (Toby)
I’m afraid I have no appetite Ms. Worth. Indeed I’m so shaken by the ferocious attack of Mr. Wynter’s vicious dog, I may never eat again...That dog’s menace to the community.

DOROTHY (Wynters)
Destroyed? Toto? Oh, you can't! You mustn't! Auntie Mary! Uncle Wilbur! You won't let her, will you?

MISS GULCH (Toby)
If you don't hand over that dog, I'll bring a damage suit that'll take all of Charterstone! There's a law protecting folks against dogs that bite!

KitKat said...

Mary must have done significant damage to Toby’s left arm when she grabbed it - it’s considerably shorter and bent at an odd angle.

Bella has maintained a grudge against Toby for modeling one of her gray clay animals on Bella but refusing to pay a licensing fee.

Chester the Dog said...

Now Toby...turn that frown upside down!

Chester the Dog said...

Mary: Hey Mr Wynters, dog off the table and eyes up here!

Ugh I just can't get over the spelling of this guys name, and Mary and Toby HAVE to say it with the Y in it.

Anonymous said...


I've seen an invisible dog on a leash before, but never a dog on an invisible leash.

Bella must short for Bellicose, which is a good description of those annoying yappy dogs.

-- Scottie McW.

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

Bella, my new favorite character. She's doing what I have wanted to do for years.

LouiseF said...

I hate to think what's on those crackers just to the er, rear, of Bella...Perhaps the dog is rendering her/his opinion of the bow tie he/she's wearing that matches Mr. Wynter's...

Gina said...

Has Mary ever used her meddling powers on a dog before?

Garnet said...

So it's true...dogs CAN sense evil.

fauxprof said...

I wonder what Toby has done to Bella in the past? Or perhaps Toby wears a particularly nasty perfume. Something Ian bought her, imported from Scotland: Eau de Haggis.

mrvy said...

Our family dog is named Bella, and she is also an excellent judge of character and clothing.

Nance said...

Today's Better Late Than Never Boldface Haiku is titled

"The Usual Response To Muffins When An Italian Is Visiting".

Hello! Homemade muffins?
Oh dear!
Grrr!
Bella!

hia5 said...

Bella is guarding the canap├ęs which he's afraid Toby has her eyes on. After all, between panel 1 and panel 2 someone has apparently walked off with one of those appetizing [?] doggy treats.

Anonymous said...

Go, Toby! This gets my vote for panel of the year.

KitKat said...

Bella should be protecting her owner from Mary. Those muffins are lethal whether you eat one or drop it on your foot.

fauxprof said...

Mr. Wynter: Bella’s protective of me. And I’ve heard about your muffins.
Mary: I’m famous for...
Mr. Wynter: They’re under baked and full of stale raisins. Raisins are nasty to begin with, but the ones you use could shatter dental work.
Mary: (sputtering) I’ll have you know...
Mr. Wynter: Ask Allora. The trash bins are full of ‘em every garbage pickup day. I bet they don’t even disintegrate in landfills.
Toby: You are so grumpy and mean—
Mr. Wynter: Don’t you start, Missy. I’ve heard you screaming at that fat fool of a husband at all hours. At least I can turn off my hearing aid, but poor Bella can’t sleep. And I’ve seen you aiming a kick at her. Nothing wrong with my vision. No wonder she wants to bite you. Try acting your age, why don’t you? Mutton dressed as lamb, as my old mother used to say. Now that woman could bake...
Mary: Come, Toby, I think I see Iris and Zak over there.

meg said...

fauxprof:!!! I’m dying here!



Maxwell Bacon said...

fauxprof; OMG, LOL, ROFL! So deliciously mean! This is why I LOVE Charterstone pool parties!

KitKat said...

@fauxprof, I’m in awe of your brilliance! I bow before you!

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KitKat said...

SUNDAY
I assume Mary is speaking to Bella when she remarks, “I’m glad you liked my salmon appetizers” because Old Man Wynter hasn’t eaten one of those disgusting things. Why did he even feed them to his pooch? BTW, Bella looks like a demon dog in the last two panels, perhaps a side effect of consuming that junk.

“Mary Muffins - not only will they make you fat, they’ll make you old!” was a marketing slogan Ted Miller (what a character!) considered but soon discarded.

Anonymous said...


"Oh, so I can get old and fat?"

"No, of course not. It's so you can get sick and die."

-- Scottie McW.

Moss_Moses said...

For what it's worth (no pun intended), wynter has an interesting definition on the Urban Dictionary:

a hot sweet sometimes sensitive chick, who is always up for a good time.
wynter's are always good at pleasing their man and will do almost anything for them


This meaning must somehow refer to the cranky neighbor’s yapping cur. Which cartoon character does he resemble? He looks like a mix between Thruston Howell the III and Mr. Magoo with a hint of Popeye.

Anonymous said...

@Scottie McW - hilarious! I'm warning you - if Wanders ever makes good on his threat to leave us, I'm voting you in as our leader.

Garnet said...

fauxprof - that's hilarious! Maybe you should write this strip.

Maxwell Bacon said...

Today's strip is pretty hilarious! I love how Bella has a bow tie that matches her master's! I was also thinking that he looked like Thurston Howell III (Charterstone is pricey!), but today, he looks less like that. I also love how Toby is literally hiding behind Mary in the last few panels that she appears in. That dog is hilarious, and super-well drawn! (You would think that the dog would be nicer to Mary, since Bella seemed to enjoy Mary's salmon appetizers. ... Just wait until the dog tries her chicken salad appetizers! Yum!) I give today's MW four stars! AWESOME!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Toby: “I don’t know about the fat part, but you and Mary have cornered the market on old. Oh did I say that out loud?”

Imogene said...

Moss M, the first time Old Man Wynter appeared, to me he looked like the Grandpa-who's-not-in-heaven (yet) from Family Circus. Thel's dad, I think? Kind of amuses me to think he turned into a bitter old widower who couldn't move away from the grandchildren fast enough.

Vince said...

At last someone is standing up to the muffins.

Nance said...

Finally checking in today after a short time away. WOW!

@fauxprof--Too funny! Imagining the bins full of discreetly tossed muffins made me LOL.
@Scottie McW--Your rejoinder of 9/2 was perfect!
@Vince--Deadpan down to a Science.

Anonymous said...


@Anon 11:56 a.m.: Thank you very much for the kind words. But there's a lot of talent here in the Snark Tank.

MONDAY

I love the depiction of the three people in the pool. They're all standing there stock still with their arms pinned to their sides. Charterstone must have a Marine D.I. for a lifeguard.

-- S. McW.

Sharon said...

If we'd been hoping to see the back of Wilbur, we're looking at it today.

KitKat said...

I was going to comment on Sasquatch Wilbur but @Sharon has the ideal remark.

So Mary is going to meddle in the relationship between (wait for it) ... a dog and her owner. This might be a Worthiverse first (and perhaps a last).

meg said...

Sharon: Bada Bing!

Tim said...

I'm with Mr Wynter in regard to muffins. I expect the storyline has Mary offering Mr Wynter muffins daily until he caves and converts to a Mary's Muffins lover. Ted the Character will use that conversion experience to launch an advertising campaign. The platitudinous priest will also be converted to Mary's Muffins worship.

Yahoonski said...

When's Moy going to start picking up on social cues?

Sharon said...

@KitKat and @meg -- Tee hee! (P.S.: Does he have a backbone after all, or does his suit not come up all the way?)

meg said...

That swimsuit is left over from Wilbur’s plumbing career.

Garnet said...

Is this going to be like that Dr Seuss story "Green Eggs and Ham?" Instead of leaving him alone, is Mary going to harass him until he gives in to the muffins?

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I figured the two baldies in the pool were Wilbur and his twin brother Wilbert.

Mary has challenge on her hands with Old Man Wynter. She does seems pleased that Bella likes her rancid salmon squares, so it’s a start. Watch her come to his door salmon squares in hand. I’m looking forward to him slamming the door in her face.

Unknown said...

What are so fantastic about Mary's Muffins? Is the recovering addict supplying a bit of "zip" for the recipe?
By the way, what kind of muffins are they?
If Mary Worth was old in 1938 - retired school teacher & a widow of a Wall St tycoon (Jack probably threw himself out a window to get away from her), just how old is she?

richardmoderate said...

if she was 65 when she was Apple Mary i figure shes about 145 years old now-isnt cosmetic surgery wonderful???