Thursday, September 13, 2018

Mary Worth 2971

I'm loving new phlegmatic Toby. In my experience, most artists tend to be very empathetic and sensitive people. But not Toby Cameron. She's a hardcore, heartless alcoholic who paints evil clowns, and sculpts endangered species just to exercise control over them. Just when you think she can't get any more shocking, she slams another martini and cranks the volume to 11.

24 comments:

Anonymous said...


Okay, Toby's just being a jerk now. But I thought we would have moved on from this tedious conversation by now. Silly me.

Is that Los Angeles in the background?

Meanwhile in Beautiful Italy, Dawn tells the Polizia, "It's only a statue."

-- Scottie McW.

KitKat said...

It’s a known fact that thirteen minutes is the average time a person can tolerate Toby before wanting to throw water on her.

RobC said...

@ Anon.
I thought the same thing, "Is that supposed to be LA?" Gee Charterstone doesn't look like the hills of Korea or on location for Emergency!

In RL this conversation would last less than 30 seconds.
"The dog's a jerk."
"No she isn't"
"Yes she is."
"No she isn't."
"Yes she IS. I'm glad she's dead."
"You're a jerk."

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"I Hope Someone Else Has Mary's Power Of Attorney".

Grumpy soft spot.
Get over. Known fact don't.
13 years. Truly attached.

Tim said...

This a planned and scripted fake conversation, allowing Mary to demonstrate her moral superiority and immense sensitivity. Look how bored Toby looks. She is reciting memorized lines.

LouiseF said...

Thank you, Nance! C'mon, Mary!! Bring on the info. on pet loss support groups; discover in your usual hamhanded fashion that Toby's anger masks a deep sadness over the death of the puppy she ran over in her parents' driveway back when she was learning to drive...We know it's coming. It's slower than Hurricane Florence at this point but has the same predicted rain(tear)fall....

RobC said...

October 4th is coming up. That's the Catholic Feast of St. Francis and the Blessing of the Animals. I think Mary should pass another one off to God and suggest Toby visit Father Silhouette and not confess her pet sins.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I’m predicting that hard hearted Toby will run into Mr. Wynter in tears and she’ll say “What are you blubbering about? She was only a dog. Get over it. They don’t live long anyway.” Then Mr. Wynter will do what we are all longing to do and punch her in the face.

My Michael was almost 12 when he died. (He may have been older because I found him as a stray and he was an adult cat then.) I had nine and a half good years with him. He was my Judge Judy companion, he slept next to me and love me unconditionally. It’s been almost seven months since he’s been gone and I still miss him. If I met an evil jerk like Toby, platitudes like Mary is giving would not be something I’d be saying to this evil witch. I think she’s had many animals that hated her judging from her opinions

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

This is KM's way of educating her readers that dogs are valuable members of the family and are mourned when they die. Coming from a culture that eats cats and dogs, I am sure that this is a revelation to her and she simply wants to share.

fauxprof said...

Toby is bearing a marked resemblance to Cruella de Vil, both physically and attitudinally. She’s miffed that Mr. Wynter won’t let her add Bella to the Chihuahua-skin miniskirt she’s crafting in her studio.

Seriously, the loss of a pet is deeply painful. A couple of years ago, after the loss of my dog, I knowingly adopted a pair of fe-leuk positive cats. One has already crossed the rainbow bridge, and I’m doing everything possible to make her sister’s life happy. Something Toby and her ilk would never understand.

Vince said...

Toby is not interesting enough to even be considered a dullard.

mrvy said...

Hey, check out today's Comics Curmudgeon, where we learn that Toby used to take home stray puppy dogs (if you click on the link). She's probably become hardened out of some sort of twisted self-preservation. Mary will soften up both Toby and Mr. Wynters, a double Meddle, if you will.

LouiseF said...

Uhoh, the perfect image for this strip.... Chihuahua or muffin? https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1090578-puppy-or-bagel

Nance said...

@Vince and Wanders are in tough competition today for the Best Toby Narrative.

Still laughing at both of their comments.

Carlye said...

I know someone with a 16 year old Yorkie that he adores. You'd better believe I won't be telling him to "get over it" when Jake dies.

lmjb1964 said...

Oh man, great comments today, everyone! Glad I wasn't drinking my coffee at the moment, especially when reading that BFH title, or I would have coffee all over my keyboard. Maybe that could be a new Worthy Award category--Comment Most Likely to Cause Coffee-Spewing. Not the catchiest award title, I'll grant you.

Anonymous said...

I just read a fascinating article about how dogs have a remarkable ability to assess whether humans are trustworthy or not. Dog lovers know this intuitively, but given my acknowledged tendency to anthropomorphize, I found it incredibly validating to know that when my dog thinks someone's a jerk, she's right.

Given Bella's hysterical reaction to Toby, I suspect that Toby subconsciously recognized that she was being unmasked by the late chihuahua. Mary, by repeating her inexhaustible store of trite platitudes, is stoking the fires of psychopathic Toby's narcissistic rage. Mr Wynters was just respectfully acknowledging his little dog's B***h sniffing (heh heh) expertise. Poor ole Mary is so deep in denial (about everything) that she is still tirelessly stroking her own ego and basking in her superiority complex, utterly oblivious to the evil explosion which could be coming her way at the hands of her so-called friend Toby.


This could get really interesting. Here's hoping...

Grumpy Ole Doc

meg said...

Toby, trying to improve her reputation as an insensitive #@&*$, decides to arrange a movie night at Charterstone in order to cheer up Myster Wynter. Tonight’s film: Old Yeller.

MissScarlet said...

Yeah, that city scape is quite puzzling. Santa Barbara (also near Goleta) has a strict no-high rise ordinance. UCSB has some tall buildings, but that really is next to Goleta. Too bad Brigman can't be bothered to research the area for authenticity. But then again, Mary is now watering lilies, and those have been gone for weeks now too.
The Comic Curmudgeon also makes a very funny comment regarding Toby's apparent interest in how long animals live. (Hint: if you were married to Ian, wouldn't you?)

KitKat said...

@LouiseF at 12:22 p.m., the "chihuahua or muffin" page is both hilarious and unbelievably germane to this plot. What a find!

Anonymous said...


“A pet can symbolize a child, sibling, friend, or longtime companion”.



Me, I’m betting on longtime companion. It will be Mr. Wynter’s wife who died back when, and Bella was her dog, and was his only remaining connection with her.

Get the tissues ready.

lmjb1964 said...

Wow, a whole week of Toby being insensitive and snarky, and Mary gently, yet condescendingly, admonishing her. Blahhh. Can we please please please see someone besides Toby and Mary next week? Though I guess I should be careful what I wish for.

LouiseF, thank you for chihuahua or muffin. Given this storyline, I can't believe that exists. Maybe that meme was the inspiration for this story. Think Moy knows what a meme is?

KitKat said...

Toby dear, has it occurred to you that you're rarely seen with anyone else but Mary? Think about that, patootie.

KitKat said...

SATURDAY

Professor Chinbeard has been wondering for years how he allowed himself to become attached to Toby.