Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Mary Wroth 2974

Your dog died, Myster Wynter. Would you care for an appetizer?

26 comments:

fauxprof said...

The header on this morning’s blog post reads “Mary Wroth”. Not so secret message, Wanders?

Although it’s more likely that Mr. Wynter will soon be wroth. I hope he slaps that box of triscuits topped with elegantly piped orange goop smack into Mary’s face.

Toots McGee said...

I didn’t see this shared here yet. An interview with KM in the Northern Michigan Christian Voice Karen posted it on her blog a few weeks ago.

Is Karen Moy really this boring?

Peggy Olson said...

This has to be a joke, right? Please? Who gives salmon-flavored Cheez Whiz crackers as a condolence gift? And packaged in a box? Hasn't Moy or Mary ever heard of banana bread?

Anonymous said...


I hope Mary winds up with a salmonella spread appetizer on her head.

-- Scottie McW.

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Because In Your Grief, The Victim's Last Meal Is Always Comforting (And Appropriate)".

Yes?
Hello. Dog...condolences.
Salmon spread appetizers?

Delilah said...

That 'salmon spread' looks remarkably like dog doo. Mary 'Wroth,' indeed!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Mary Wroth just loves to rub it in, doesn't she? A normal person would have probably passed him in the hall and extended their condolences and a few kind words. Not Mary Wroth. She has to knock on the poor man's home with her salmonella surprise. I'm looking forward to tomorrow's strip when Myster Wynter slams the door so hard, it knocks Mary out of her shoes.

BTW Wandyrs, I think you meant "Meal" in your secret message, but "mean" works too.

Chester the Dog said...

Warm salmon on a generic Ritz cracker in a dirty cardboard box. Mary Wroth is one classy lady.

Anonymous said...

I just realized, from Sunday's last panel, that Mr. Wynters wears a clip bow tie.

I worked for the same family all through high school and college. The boss always wore a clip tie because one day he was doing something around the pizza dough roller and got his neck tie caught and he couldn't reach the off switch.

r u ok? said...

Mary: I made these so that you can get OLD and FAT!!! Ha Ha! Just kidding. Anyway, I thought I would show you how much I care about your loss, unlike my friend Toby who didn't like your dog and doesn't understand why anyone would become attached to a stupid pet, by bringing you salmon paste on crackers in a box. Oh, and let me remind you that if you get another dog please be aware that the Charterstone rules specify that no pet can be over 20 pounds. Have a nice day and I'll bring you some muffins tomorrow.

LouiseF said...

Mary's instincts are just so OFF...Appetizers (like muffins) served at the wrong time indicate ignorance and maybe some problems understanding social situations...Appetizers, by definition, imply that a solid meal is following. We eat appetizers to enhance our appetite for MORE food...Also, appetizers are usually eaten in a group. Who sits around eating appetizers all by themselves at home?...Given the opportunity to make less food, believe me, I will. I don't need appetizers when I am living alone (without even my dog), and all I am doing is opening a can of soup for dinner. So, get with it, already, Mary. Mr. Wynter doesn't need your damned APPETIZERS. He needs a CASSEROLE. That's what people bring to someone who's mourning... They don't have time to make food, because they ARE in mourning! Sheesh, is this brain surgery for crying out loud??!!

Yahoonski said...

All this talk about Mary Wroth made me realize that another anagram for "worth" is "throw" which is what Wynter is about to do with those appetizers. I mean throw them at Mary, of course, though if he actually eats them he may find himself THROWing up, which poor Bella wasn't able to do in time to save herself.

Garnet said...

Those look deeply unappetizing.

Gina said...

Mary Wroth and last mean. Tell us how you REALLY feel about Mary, Wanders. ;-)

Anonymous said...

those things look like somebody has c-dif

Toots McGee said...

I didn’t post that link properly to the interview with Karen. http://nmichchristianvoice.com/2018/08/positively-mary/

You nailed it Louise. Appetizers are really tone deaf, even if they were...um, appetizing.

Anonymous said...

I think you're right, Delilah. Those are Bella's doggie doo doos that Mary scraped up from the patio around the pool. "Here, Mr. Wynter. I thought you might want to shellac these and make jewelry or votive candle holders out of them seeing as you don't have a dog to walk or play with anymore, you will now have a lot of time on your hands."

Steve G said...

My parents went out of town for a week and had my grandmother stay us children.
We had a somewhat-rare parrot (Joe) of which my mom was extremely fond.

The day before my parent's return, Grandmom said:
"The Parrot looks sick. It's lying on the bottom of the cage."
On it's back, claws to the sky - was Joe.

Some having tuna fish in the refrigerator had spoiled and, having raised 11 children through the Depression, Grandmom never threw anything out.
She fed the tuna to Joe. She reasoned that eagles eat fish, and vultures eat spoiled meat - so spoiled tuna to a tropical parrot was okay.

Mom was crushed and her relationship with Grandmom was never the same.

The good news is that Grandmom never was asked to watch us kids again!





Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

LouiseF you are so right. Once again, KM is showing how tone deaf she is about loss and death. Surely she has had someone or something die in her life. I am convinced that she is about as alive as Siri, which is probably where she is getting her story ideas.

Tim said...

That drawing looks a little weird to me. I don't believe anyone has ever offered me food by sticking it directly under my nose.

KitKat said...

I'm late checking in today, so all of you have beaten me to the punch. Well said, everyone! Hmm, thinking about "punch"...

WEDNESDAY:

Mr. Wynter: How thoughtful of you. Won't you come in and have some with me? And how about a nice Hawaiian Punch?

Mary: Well, thank you...OOOOOOPPPPHHH!!! [splat!]

Mr. Wynter: Beat it, you insensitive biddie! Never darken my door again, and take your disgusting "appetizers" with you!

Tim said...

I repeat something I've said before given that Mary is supposed to be some type of kitchen goddess why doesn't Bridgman make an effort to make her food look at least a little appealing?

Carlye said...

Oh, please, please, the only thing that could possibly top having a muffin on Ted's head would be salmon snacks in Mary's face. It wouldn't just be panel of the year, but panel of the decade.

Anonymous said...

Is delivering food in a shoe box a new hipster thing or something?

lmjb1964 said...

Nance, your title almost made me choke on my lunch.

I know it's been said, many times, many ways, but Moy/Mary, WTH? Taking someone appetizers to console them is weird enough, but the salmon squares are just too cruel a reminder of Bella. Maybe despite her platitudes, Mary resents Wyntee for feeding her precious treats to a dog, and she figured this was a good way to stick it to him one more time.

Anonymous said...

Toot McGee - I read the interview. Is Moy that boring? Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Oh, sorry, did you say something?
-Noreen