Monday, January 14, 2019

Mary Worth 3042

How can Hey-Mickey-You're-So-Fine Boy even hope to compete with the beguiling Quaker Oats Man? Clearly, Jannie has Ian enthralled. He can barely contain his lust.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...


Aha, the plot thins.

-- Scottie McW.

KitKat said...

Yes, Wanders, Ian’s “Okay” teems with burning ardor - it’s in boldface, and it ends with a period, making it an actual sentence! The poor sap who’s a Stones wannabe is relegated to Jim from the Hiking Group lowly status.

So seemingly goofy Jannie really does have an ulterior motive. Is it merely angling for a high grade? She joins the group of KM bad females (Drunken Jill Black, Nola Wolvenson, Entertainer Esme, Fabiana). The other categories are saintly (just Mary), insipid (Toby, Dawn, Iris), and bit players (Estelle, Claudia, Sue). KM doesn’t do well with real women.

RobC said...

Move over Brony-boy! It's Rolling Stones Guy!

Anonymous said...


My guess is that she's setting him up for a sexual harassment blackmail scheme.

-- S. McW.

Tim said...

I'm not sure perky Jannie thinks she's accomplished. Professor Chinbeard's haven't beyond single words or grunt. And I think perky needs to be pronounced with a Scottish accent.

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Okay Is The New Oooh, Baby".

Later!
Okay.
Heh-heh! Wonders...
Jannie!

Downpuppy said...

I'm just going to assume that Ian is in his seventies so that the T-Shirt can be sending a secret message from 1981.

Gina said...

I had the exact same thought, Wanders. Panel of the Year. I'm calling it right now.

TimP said...

Recall the form of joke that goes as follows:

1. Absurd premise
2. ?
3. Profits!

This Mary Worth plotline goes as such:

1. Absurd premise
2. ?
3. ?
4. Pool party!

(Just speculating on point 4 there...)

MissScarlet said...

I just thought I should mention, for all of you who think the Stones are passé, they will be playing in the Rose Bowl this June and I couldn't find tickets below $200 - and those had an obstructed view. (There are lots of tickets for $1000 on up).

Also, the Rose Bowl is only 90 minutes from Santa Royale. Tailgate!!

fauxprof said...

Echoing Miss Scarlet’s post about the Stones and their continuing prowess, it is all the more amazing when it is obvious that Keith Richards has been dead for years, and is still performing. Like Ian. Like Mary Worth.

Pat P. said...

Stones guy suggests an addition to the Charterstone jukebox: "Under My Thumb," as in "Ian is under Jannie's thumb." Alternate; "Wrapped Around Your Finger" by the Police.

Yahoonski said...

MissScarlet & Fauxprof: I love Keith, but sadly I'm probably not going to be around for his next excellent solo lp, as there was a 24-year hiatus between the last two!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I have a Rolling Stones story:

My ex-husband's job use to do business with this bagging company (He was a shipping clerk for a plastics company). The other bagging company was mobbed up, but that's a story for another time and place. Anyway, he did them a bunch of favors and he got two FREE tickets to the Stone's 1997 tour. (At least I think it was '97, they tour so much, I can't remember if it was '97 or before.) These were tickets to the old Shea Stadium in NY and they were center stage, so these weren't nosebleed seats. Anyway, I'm all excited about going and he lays it on me that he's taking his friend Russell, as Russell was his best friend. Needless to say the marriage ended shortly there after and I hope he and Russell are happy together. But I'm digressing. Oh, and one more thing, as a consolation prize (or as my dopey ex use to say a "constellation prize") I got a tee shirt just like Medical Assistant Jared's brother. Nice.

Anyway, back to the snark.

Jannie thinks awfully highly of her powers of seduction. Chinbeard's okay sounds like someone who's been beaten down, not like someone excited to see her in class. Maybe Chinbeard's finally realizing what a butt kiss Jannie is. If I was him, I'd tell her to lay off the Eddie Haskell act. It was old in the '50s and it's even older now. But this is Chinbeard we're talking about. He's such a meathead, he's going to run home and torture Toby some more. Someone mentioned the other day that this plot is like "Who's afraid of Virginia Woolf?" It is, only written by a hack writer like KM.

r u ok? said...

Shouldn't one of the students be wearing a Zakiks t-shirt? Or did Zakiks already flame out?

TimP said...

@ Pat P., the Police song that occurs to me is Don't Stand So Close To Me...

I'm amused how non-specific Jannie's stalking behavior is. I have to assume that Moy finds it clever to leave major plot points to the reader's imagination.

Downpuppy said...

Toni Basil (Mickey) was in & choreographed a 1965 movie called "Village of the Giants", a Food of the Gods ripoff with a young Ron Howard plus Beau Bridges
Not a good movie - it was on Svengoolie this week

Chester the Dog said...

Rolling Stones shirt, always on sale at Target, if SR has a Target. Or is that too modern for the residents? I bet they still have a Woolworth store. Mary buys her hair tweezers there.