Monday, May 13, 2019

Mary Worth 3124

If you think reporting him would be fun, I think you should try real revenge!

47 comments:

RobC said...

I want to report a theft!

Who was it? I don't know.
Where are they? I don't know.
Do you have any contact info? No.

Can you help me? I don't know....

Anonymous said...


Actually, Estelle, you're no longer in any mess. Artie Boy dumped you, so it's all over. He's gone, money's gone, mess is gone. Problem solved. Have some tuna.

-- Scottie McW.

Wanders, how'd it go?

toytuba said...

Tell KM she can stop struggling to find those nifty quotes for her Sunday strips. The throwaway panels at the top are no longer visible. Do any papers still print them? If you go to the "official Mary Worth website," maryworthcomics takes you directly to comicskingdom. The Sunday strip appears there without the top panels, and if you tell it to "Buy Prints" it thinks that you really want to.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I was about to ask the same question, Scottie, McW. How did the show go Wanders? Hope all went well. Any pictures?

Everytime I read Mary Worth, I think of this Spongebob episode where everyone was acting crazy and Plankton says "Is there a gas leak in here?" There has to be, because Charterstone has some of the stupidest people when it comes money. We have Wilbur and Fabiana, Dr. Adrian and Ted Confey and now Estelle and Arthur/er. There must be something in the water at Charterstone.

The only crime she can report s her blatant stupidity for sending money to her "beautiful man". She could sue Arthur/er, but does she really want that nasty trailer and that sad dog? (I would take the sad dog over Arthur/er and his trailer.)

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

We can believe the mess you're in, Estelle. In fact, you're the only one who didn't see it coming months ago. And Regina, scamming someone out of money by means of misrepresentation is fraud and is illegal most everywhere.

TimP said...

Ya know, Estelle, for ten grand you could have taken a luxurious trip* to Malaysia. I hear the food there is just fantastic!

*I see China Southern Airlines will put you on an A380 in first class from LAX to Kuala Lumpur (with a connection in Guangzhou) for a little under nine grand and nights at the Four Seasons KL are very reasonable.

LouiseF said...

@toytuba, fauxprof alerted me to the comics page on the Washington Post's web site, where you can see the full Sunday Mary Worth strip with splash panel (I think that's the lingo). Yesterday's was particularly pointed, with a quotation from Tessa Dare, the romance novelist.
I figure the number of days KM thinks will be needed to rehabilitate Estelle as a sympathetic character is directly proportional to the repetition of scenes of her soggily confessing to Mary while Mary directs her to report Arthu/er. Ho hum. I want scenes of Mary on the phone with the FTC, frowning and providing details to the intake specialist who takes complaints. Exciting stuff. I can't wait.

Anonymous said...


"Oh Mary, I just feel so devastated."

"You're not eating any tuna?"

"I put all my trust in Arther, and now I feel so utterly betrayed."

"You don't like tuna?"

"I don't know if I'll ever be able to trust anyone again."

"You know, I made it especially for you."

"And it's not just the betrayal" . . . "I went to a lot of trouble" . . . "but it's the money too!" . . . "made a special trip to the store" . . . "My late husband worked so hard to make sure I would be taken care of" . . . "took me quite a while to make" . . . "and now he would be so ashamed of me" . . . "filleted the tuna myself" . . .

"WILL YOU SHUT UP ABOUT THE &$#%%@&$ TUNA! I WOULDN'T FEED THAT $#&% TO THE &@#%%#@$ CAT YOU FOISTED ON ME!!!

"MEOW?"

"Okay, okay. Sheesh, what are you so mad about?"

-- S. McW.

KitKat said...

Wanders, the Haddonfield website is so impressive! It sounds like a wonderful endeavor. Please tell us how the opening weekend went.

And now, from the sublime to the ridiculous....I expect Mary will insist on Estelle sharing every humiliating, debasing, painful detail about L'Affaire Arthur. In Sunday's installment, Mary looked positively crazed (maybe the way she was during her Kelrast Crisis).

On the culinary front, today's "Real Life Adventures" comic deals with (egad!) tuna noodle casserole:

https://www.gocomics.com/reallifeadventures/2019/05/13

Tim said...

You need to report him seems odd coming from the lips of the woman who didn't even tell her boyfriend when Ted the Character tried to sexually assault her.

toytuba said...

@LouiseF - Thanks! It's a keeper.

meg said...

Haddonfield, NJ Patch

Astounding Evening of Entertainment

Ticket holders at last evening’s performance of The Man Who Came to Dinner were surprised and delighted by what transpired. The actor portraying Sheridan Whiteside was unable to go on shortly after the first act began, slurring his words, swearing randomly, and ultimately falling out of his wheelchair and breaking his hip. It seems likely that “Sheri” was drinking more than Sherry.

Remarkably, Whiteside’s understudy, the unknown and unheralded Wes “Wanders” Andersen, stepped into the role without missing a beat. And even more amazingly, Andersen continued in his role as Mr. Stanley, sitting in the wheelchair and affecting a curmudgeonly tone as Whiteside; then springing to his feet to deliver Stanley’s lines in the charming and witty manner appropriate to his George Clooney-like handsome appearance.

The audience was enthralled at the tour de force unfolding before them, and the remainder of the cast stepped up its game to the tone set by the brilliant Mr. Andersen. Twenty three-or was it twenty four? standing ovations ended the evening.

Your Patch reporter is attempting to interview Mr. Andersen today, but he is swamped with calls from Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard, Jeff Bezos and other producers hoping to capture lightning in a bottle. Rumors around town suggest that Andersen will be a guest on Stephen Colbert’s show this evening; other rumors suggest that the entire event has been staged by Ashton Kutcher for his “Pranked” television show.

r u ok? said...

That South African model is going to jail! Isn't that about the only information Estelle has?

This is just another "The INTERNET is BAD!" story line. Estelle should take a job as a waitress at Diner - then she won't have any problem getting a date, remarrying, and moving to NYC.

Anonymous said...


Ha haaaa! Great stuff, meg!

-- S. McW.

doug said...

Let's not all forget that Arthur is right now probably hacking into Estelle's bank accounts with the information he collected when they filled out questionnaires about each other.

Michael Beaumier said...

Mary is here to tell Estelle that the $10K Arthurer stole is nothing compared to what her therapy bills are gonna be. Reporting him is just the first step in a long, slow, expensive process that will literally take years — and Estelle isn’t getting any younger, so let’s get busy.

KitKat said...

@meg, the review is fabulous!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

@meg: Bravo!!!

Delilah said...

@meg: Brilliant! Bravo!

Yahoonski said...

Speaking of Comics Kingdom, it's been all downhill since the redesign. The absence of the splash panels is just one of many complaints. Of course, I'm personally aggrieved ever since I was banned from commenting for the ludicrous reason of "excessive arguing." After I pried that explanation out of Customer Support, they told me that in consideration of me being a long-time subscriber, my privileges would be reinstated. Then, when I still was unable to comment, they told me "If your ban has been reinstated, it is permanent." Of course I wanted to know how I could possibly have done anything to justify reinstatement of the ban since I was unable to comment during it, but it's been radio silence (a la Arther) ever since. Naturally I won't be re-subscribing, so I am particularly grateful for Wanders & y'all, WAPO, and the Comics Curmudgeon, all of whom allow me to still enjoy the full Mary Worth experience. I sure am going to miss Juliet Jones and Buz Sawyer, though.

Chester the Dog said...

@doug: That would take some form of continuity on the part of KM. Never gonna happen. Meow!

KitKat said...

Tuesday

@Yahoonski, is Comics Kingdom now being run from Pyongyang?

Today's MW: Why is Estelle pining for a con artist who took her ten grand, lied to her, and swore at her? And for Pete's sake Mary, why ask if Estelle can trust him?! Estelle should cut her SilverDaters losses, change her phone number, and post a photo of herself in this lacy teddy on SexySilvers.

Sandi Ego said...

@Yahoonski, I love that you were banned for excessive arguing on Comics Kingdom. Now that is passion!

LouiseF said...

meg, I think you stunned M Wanders into silence! Quite an achievment..

meg said...

Colbert’s show just picked him up in a limo, and he’s chatting with the driver about Mary Worth.

Anonymous said...

The Sunday Quote is at the beginning of the strip if you read the comics on the Washington Post Website. ( I just google wash post comics)

I don't THINK that any paper currently publishes Mary Worth - but I could be wrong.

The Sunday papers that DO publish comics often don't have room for the entire strips - But the website have everything. The comics have to be able to stand alone - without the artwork or text in the first frames. Sometimes those are the best parts of the comics

Not all of my comics are available on the Wash Post website - I read Mary Worth and Sally Forth there, then page down and have to click on Rhymes with Orange (I think the site is Discus or Uexpress) If I click on one of the other comics other than Rhymes with Oarange- not all of my favorites are available. It weird. In the old days, you only had about 20 seconds to page down to the second set of listings before it vanished into the ether - but now it stays put. It took a while to figure out how to be able to read my comics with the least amount of effort.

Ian Cameron, PhD said...

Wednesday:

Mary said she knows Somebody Who Knows About These Things and she may be able to help her! Will it be the lovely Toby or the intrepid Teri Bryson?? They were each so pivotal to The Case of the Scotland DVD, and for such opposite reasons!

Chester the Dog said...

Ladies and germs....Ensign Terry Bryson of the starship Enterprise!!!

Yahoonski said...

KitKat: No, I suspect Comics Kingdom is now being run from the White House.

Sandi Ego: The irony is that there was hardly any arguing at all. I think it stemmed from a wisecrack that somebody on the opposite side of a political fence took umbrage at. And it was in reference to a strip about which readers argue back and forth for days on end.

KitKat said...

@Anonymous from last evening, the Plain Dealer (Cleveland) publishes still Mary Worth.

I’d love to see Wanders discuss MW and this blog with Colbert!!

Wednesday: Again with the doves! Sheesh.

LouiseF said...

Music to Mary's meddling ears: "I don't even know where to start!"

Anonymous said...


If Mary does call in Terry Bryson, Toby is going to be twelve kinds of POed. "Hey, this was MY collar!"

BTW, when I was checking the spelling of her name, I saw a panel on Google in which Terry is crying in bed and thought-ballooning, "How can I risk opening my heart again? Will I ever be able to?"while the floating head of some handsome dude hovers over her. (This was published before I became a Worthie, so I don't know who it is.) So Terry and Estelle should be sympatico.

-- Scottie McW.

fauxprof said...

If it is Terry Bryson, I hope she’s in tough cop mode. Estelle needs to face some hard facts, not another shoulder to cry on.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Where is Wanders? Has he been offered a Hollywood contract and has deserted his loyal following? Or perhaps he's hitting the boards with Broadway legend Ken Kensington.

Personally Estelle, I don't think Arthur/er will be too hard to find. He's definitely not smart at grifting (judging by his expletive laden meltdown). Just go any broken down trailer park in Santa Royale, follow the stench and you'll find him.

Anonymous said...


THURSDAY

"Yeah, but why did it happen to ME?"

Estelle, you might not like the answer to that question. Maybe it's best to let that be.

-- S. McW.


mr_darcy said...

The return of Teflon Girl! The storyline is saved! But only if Teflon Girl does another modeling pose when she pulls a gun on Arthur.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

THURSDAY:

It happened to you Estelle because you were a complete moron that refused to listen when Mary told you that you "beautiful man" was a fake and a phony. When she told you that Arthur/er used a male model's photo, you said that he was "shy about his looks" and got snippy when Mary warned you, so no one here feels sorry for you. Except Mary and I bet her and Libby want to say "I told you so!"

LouiseF said...

Oh, Mary is good! Her well-developed meddling sense told her to skip Toby and go straight to law enforcement. Doesn't mean she won't dish the dirt with Toby once this is all over, but at least she knows when to call the cops.. On somebody else, that is. When nasty stuff happens to HER, (TedWhataCharacter), she makes muffins.

KitKat said...

Thank goodness Mary specified that Building B is next door. Otherwise, Estelle would roam the parking lot for hours, trying to find it.

@Scottie McW., Terry Bryson was in some Secret-Service-type agency, teamed with hunky Adam Miller (I’m not sure about his surname - needs a fact check). Adam unexpectedly showed up at Charterstone one day to attempt to woo Terry. She was bored by the hot air ballooning and roller coaster riding he took her on, but her ardor skyrocketed when she and Adam took down a mugger on the local boardwalk. You can consult Wanders’s excellent archives for the details. I’m surprised Terry is still at Charterstone! What happened to Adam?

fauxprof said...

Like KitKat, I was wondering if Terry is still with Adam. If they are actually married, we may be about to see the violation of one of the fundamental rules of the Worthiverse: once a couple is introduced and paired off, they are sucked into some black hole and never heard from again. If this rule no longer holds, there may be dire consequences—either the end of life as we know it, or, even worse, Tommy Beedie could return.

Anonymous said...


@KitKat

Thanks for the history lesson!

Speaking of Wanders, word on the street is that he was busted at an all-night cocaine rager in SoHo with his posse, Jude Law, Ryan Gosling, and Matt Damon. Don't know if that's true.

-- S. McW.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

@Scotttie McW. Wanders is mounting a broadway tour with Broadway sensation Ken Kensington, who is reviving his musical triumph, Nostradamus. What Wanders doesn't know it's the play Something Rotten! and Ken Kensington is playing Thomas Nostradamus with Wanders as one of the Bottom Brothers: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Something_Rotten!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Has everyone jumped ship or is everybody just as bored of Estelle and her endless stupidity?

KitKat said...

Not only has Wanders and his theatrical career taken him away, we seem to be without Nance and her pithy BFH titles! Egad!!

Anonymous said...


The most interesting thing anyone in this strip has said this week is, "MEOW!"

-- S. McW.

mr_darcy said...

MW: You can warn others if you report him.

Will Mary spend a second on self-reflection and apply this logic to herself and Ted Miller? No, she's happy with her decision.

LouiseF said...

Would anyone be commenting if there was anything NEW to say about what amounts to the same, hand-wringing strip repeated every day? You know we won't get Terry Bryson on the scene until next week. Might as well save our snarking energy for that. I hope she wears a cape.