Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Mary Worth 3144

When Mary gets giddy for gossip, she becomes bonkers for baking.

32 comments:

fauxprof said...

Mary wants to make it clear that they will be taking a sunset sail followed by dinner at the Bum Boat, because, well, that’s all they ever do together. We know that there are plenty of other restaurants in Santa Royale. There’s Diner, of course (haven’t been there in a while), all those French-named places from the arc with Dawn and slimy Dr. Whoosis, the karaoke place, and, most recently, Burger-Catfish-Quiche Palace. But it’s the Bum Boat, forever and always, in the “romance” of Jeff and Mary.

Anonymous said...

Is Dr. Jeff violating both professional ethics and HIPPA laws by discussing his patient's medical history with his paramour?!

Anonymous said...

Woops! I got the word balloons mixed up. MARY is discussing Wilbur's medical history with HER paramour - which is just fine and dandy. No laws or ethics broken here!

Anonymous said...


Good Lord, what could she possibly be doing with all these muffins? She's already baked at least two dozen, and it looks like she's got at least one more dozen to go.

Does she bake them, cool them, arrange them on a nice plate, and then throw them away?

Or does she give them to neighbors who are so sick of her foisting muffins on them every %#$@*^% day that they throw them away?

The woman is mentally ill.

-- Scottie McW.

KitKat said...

@Scottie McW., maybe Mr. Allora uses the muffins to edge the pavement at Charterstone.

"It'll be good to catch up" - ? Mary sounds like she's talking to an acquaintance she talks with once or twice a year. Come to think of it, that's how she strings along the clueless Jeff. And what about his birthday, and the proposed something blue? Jeff needs a new phone more than a shirt, Mary. His current one has an antenna (and he's pressing it to his temple with his index

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Sunset, Sailboats, And The Siren Song...Of Wilbur".

Sure.
Love sunset sail dinner!
Great!
Five! Catch up!
Wilbur...

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Are the muffins some kind of secret code that KM and JB are using? Who in the world would make so many muffins for no discernable reason? I picture her giving them to neighbors, who in turn feed the squirrels with them. I picture a lot of dead squirrels at Charterstone.

Why in the world would Mary want to be gossiping with Dr. Jeff about someone as uninteresting as Wilbur? If I started gossiping with my husband about someone as distasteful and repulsive as Wilbur, he will go "who cares", which is husband speak which means "move on, not interested." Dr. Jeff's life must be so sad and empty that he has to deal with Mary and her obnoxious meddling.

Nothing irritates me more than the way these idiots hold their phones. Aside from Dr. Jeff having a phone that hasn't been made since early 1990, he is holding it in a position that no human being would hold it. JB should study how humans hold phones.

Yahoonski said...

My brother called me yesterday and said "Would you like to join me for a round of golf at the Indian Mound Country Club followed by lunch at the Miss Wakefield Diner?" And I replied "Sure, I'd love to join you for a round of golf at the Indian Mound Country Club followed by lunch at the Miss Wakefield Diner."

Who converses like this? Parrots maybe?

Yahoonski said...

And come to think of it, when did Jeff get a sailboat?

Tim said...

Sung to the telephone by Elliman:
I don't know how to hold you,
What to do,
How to use you

Anonymous said...

"I have some news about Wilbur."

A broad smile comes over Jeff's face. "Is he dead?"

LouiseF said...

Mary does NOT have "news" about Wilbur! She ASSUMES that Wibur and Estelle are a thing. As far as I know, she hasn't bothered to find out from either of the principal parties here whether or not they are actually dating. And why is the "news" only about Wilbur? Oh, I see. Rule #1 of Meddling: Gossip about the women with the women and the men with the men. Lucky Jeff.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I see the Google Doodle today is about falafel. No mention of Tahini sauce though. I don't see Wilbur as a falafel person.

Anonymous said...

Anyone remember the chidren's book Strega Nona, with the never ending spaghetti pot? Under her spell it kept producing more and more noodles. Similar to Mary's muffin batter. She's made batches and batches of muffins, yet the batter bowl is still full. Strega Mary.

And, please, Mary, enough with the purple cowlneck sweater. Please change your clothes once in awhile!

Mrvy said...

So many giggle-inducing comments today. But I think the winner for promoting laugh out loud guffaws is Strega Mary. But Strega Mary is no Strega Nona. Anthony learned his lesson about following the rules from Strega Nona. Nobody's learning any lessons from Strega Mary here.

Chester the Dog said...

"What do you get a man like Jeff for his birthday?" Sung to the tune of

"What do you say to a naked lady?"

Chester the Dog said...

But she does not tell Jeff about Arthur/er.

Jeff: "I'd like to meet Estelle, and see what a moron she really is."

LouiseF said...

No sailboat yet...Guess that's later in the week. I would be impressed if Mary and Jeff were biking to the dock where he keeps his boat. It is Southern California after all.

mr_darcy said...

Dr Jeff wants to meet Estelle. Jeff figures anyone desperate enough to date Wilbur will allow more than a peck on the cheek. Mary has competition!

Garnet said...

Heh. Absolutely nobody respects Wilbur.

Anonymous said...


Whoa, Dr. Jeff throwing a little shade at double-dubya. I expect Mary to be appalled, moving closer to the car door and admonishing him, "Doctor Jeffrey Cory, if you cannot say something nice about someone, you shouldn't say anything at all. Take me home!"

-- S. McW.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

LOL Scottie McW, I was about to say the exact same thing. Dr. Jeff should have said "I want to meet Estelle and give her the name of a good psychiatrist to find out what in the world she would see in Wilbur.

Dr. Jeff also brings up a good point that others here have questioned. If Estelle and Wilbut live in the same condo complex, how come they never met until Silverdaters? She's never seen Wilbur at the mailbox or lurking behind bushes stalking Iris, who also lives in the building? Wilbur's kind of hard to miss or forget.

BTW Mary, Estelle didn't adopt Libby: you foisted her on Estelle, if I remember correctly. Also how is Dr. Jeff going to meet Estelle if he's allergic to cats. Even if you meet at a neutral there is always cat hair around even if you clean fanatically. (Cats love sitting on your clothes and leaving their hair and other not so pleasant presents behind. It looks like Libby has the run of the house, so Estelle must be loaded with cat hair.)

Chester the Dog said...

@ Regina: It won't belong before Charterstone has a hot new music group to entertain at Bingo night, "Libby and the Twits", performing their new country song, "I love you as much as falafel with tahini sauce." Meow!

Nance said...

Wilbur's into sports?

Anonymous said...


THURSDAY

First of all, this doesn't qualify as going for a "sail."

Second, I've never been in a two-seat power boat that was going so fast that the bow rose out of the water, but I doubt that you can have a casual conversation while doing so. There's too much noise and too much jostling from the bottom of the boat bouncing on and off the surface of the water.

Other than that, Karen and June nailed it!

-- S. McW.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Thursday:" Why is Mary so sure that Wilbur and Estelle are in "the early stages of dating"? She hasn't even confirmed it with either party and is passing on her unverified gossip to Dr. Jeff.

Second: I don't remember Wilbur ever being into sports, unless kite flying qualifies as a sport. I know that he's into sitting on the thinkin' and drinkin' cliff, taking long hot showers and singing bad karaoke. The comment "Estelle's into cats" sounds very snarky to me. Estelle stated to Arthur/er that she was into playing the piano and falafel with Tahini sauce.

Third: This conversation is very boring and it's about two very boring people. I think we should move on because no one here is really interested. I for one, could care less about Estelle and Wilbur, especially Wilbur.

fauxprof said...

If this week counts as Mary’s victory lap, I guess she can do it in a speedboat. That brings up a question—didn’t Jeff have a bigger boat, more like a cabin cruiser? I guess he’s well-heeled enough to have more than one watercraft, unless he’s downsized. Maybe the next moonlight cruise will have Mary perched on the back of a Jet-Ski.

KitKat said...

“Hopeful and exciting,” unlike Mary and Jeff’s relationship. However, Jeff does have something in common with Mary (and Toby) - gossiping. Hey Mary, this would be an opportune time to bring up Ted Miller!

Yahoonski said...

As I suspected, both Jeff and Mary misspoke when they talked of going for a sunset sail, unless maybe they're speeding to the mooring where he keeps his sailboat. More likely, however, they're rushing to an emergency room so that Jeff can get somebody to look at his left arm. Who holds a steering wheel in such a contorted manner?

LouiseF said...

Oh, tomorrow we'll probably see Estelle and Wilbur on a balloon ride, locked in a passionate kiss. I know it's an ugly thought, but whatever gets this unsatisfying plot to its unsatisfying conclusion is great with me. Great mental image, fauxprof, of Mary on a jetski with a snazzy scarf flying in the breeze and her hair all messed up.

mr_darcy said...

LouiseF - a long scarf near a propeller... Pulling an Isadora Duncan on the water would be a great way to end the strip. Hope Karen Moy is lurking.

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