Friday, July 26, 2019

Mary Worth 3168

I love a good Dawn Weston date. Holding hands across the table is really hard on the elbows; you have to really be motivated. Plus, this brings up Wilbur's work as an investigative journalist and how long he's away from home after any international tragedy. It's like he books passage on the soonest schooner and sails around the Cape to wherever it is he's going, and then spends months writing a story, before returning home having been robbed by pirates.


KitKat said...

If Hugo’s NOT a liar and/or a cheat, he’s a few crayons short of a full box because he’s putting Dawn and a crummy Santa Royale restaurant on par with Paris. Something here doesn’t add up.

“Gathering important info on survivors” makes it sound like Wilbur is some kind of free-lance census taker. It must be lucrative enough because he and dopey daughter Dawn never have any financial concerns. (BTW, some other schmuck gathers the unimportant info.)

MDMaryTed said...

They do have interesting restaurants in Santa Royale, don't they? Tarte de Lune? Doesn't that translate to Moon Pie? Also, I find it funny that Dawn thinks by adding that scarf around her neck she is on par with the savior faire of French girls.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

So in other words, Dawn doesn't get to know others when Wilbur is around? Is it because she's busy making his mayonnaise sandwiches and because she's a 12th year student at SRCC?

LOL KitKat, I thought the same thing about the "important information". Who even talks like that? A normal person would have said that he's a "journalist" (I use that word very loosely) and he is doing stories on people who have survived tragedies. She makes it sound like he's with the CIA.

These two knuckleheads deserve each other.

Anonymous said...

Holding hands already? Whoa, slow down, Dawn. Try to postpone the heartbreak for a while.

Sheesh, the guy at the next table is wearing a manbun. I don't want to think about what kind of pizza he ordered.

-- Scottie McW.

Chester the Dog said...

The blonde behind them seems to be eating orange watermelon. Very French!

Yahoonski said...

How do you say "annoying" in French? Also "inane," "awkward," "vapid," "totally unrealistic" and "stupid." Just linguistically curious.

mr_darcy said...

I like those high-beam insect lights outside the Tarte de Lune. It seems they had a real infestation problem.

Michael Beaumier said...

‘I’m meeting people and holding their hand! Plus I’m talking out loud!"

I like that Dawn narrates her own life as it’s happening – it reinforces everything we know about her, plus it saves so much money on those pesky narration boxes — though the miraculous appearance of Wilbur’s disembodied head would’ve made today’s strip something glorious.

Anonymous said...

For those of you still pondering the significance of the name of the restaurant, maybe it’s worth noting that “une tarte” is Canadian French slang not for a woman of loose virtue (as with English “tart”) but rather for an extremely stupid woman, sort of like “bimbo” but without necessarily connoting good looks. “Con comme la lune” is also a fairly well-established way of saying “dumb as a bag of hammers”. Not sure if Karen or June are aware of this though…

Sue said...

Anyone else think Hugo is going to fall off a ladder while painting his hosts house? And who talks like that? What are you going to do tomorrow after painting your host's house?

Yahoonski said...

Yes, but are there any excellent FRENCH restaurants on the pier? And will they still be open after Hugo finishes painting his hosts' house? Well, maybe it's une petite maison, eh? Meanwhile, however, he really should keep both hands on the wheel of his hosts' voiture de sport.

Carlye said...

I admire Hugo's stamina, not to mention neatness. He painted today and will paint tomorrow, but there isn't a trace of paint spatter on him, and he has the energy to go cavorting with savoir faire afterward. When I've been painting for an entire day, I scarcely had enough juice to call Domino's.

Anonymous said...

We now return to today's episode of "The Simpletons."

"Let's go to the beach. They have some excellent restaurants there."

"Yes, let us do that. And when we're done visiting the beach, we can EAT at one of the restaurants there."

"Oh yes, great idea! We can EAT at one of them. I never thought of that."

"Yes, we will eat food at one of the excellent restaurants there."

"After we visit the beach." [ad nauseum]

I am madly in love with their conversations.

-- S. McW.

KitKat said...

@Scottie McW., you made me guffaw! You have captured the essence of “The Simpletons,” starting with that perfect title. Just think, of all the malls in all the world, Dawn and Hugo crashed into each other in Santa Royale. That’s kismet!

I think Hugo’s host family lives in a tiny house. That would explain how he can pack so much into one day. (Anyone else foresee dinner at the Bum Boat?)

I wonder if Hugo missed Paris yesterday, when the temperature hit 109 degrees.

fauxprof said...

I sometimes get the feeling that the dialogue here is being translated from some unknown language. Klingon, maybe?

KitKat said...

@fauxprof, Lt. Commander Worf would bristle (to put it mildly) about the dialogue being Klingon.

KitKat said...

I’ve been wanting to tell The Simpletons to take a long walk off a short pier, so I guess the last panel will do for now. I’m hoping to see a nightgown-clad Mary dive in to rescue Dawn. Hugo can fend for himself.

fauxprof said...


Does this count as a pool party?

Sue said...

I really think Hugo is going to fall off a ladder. Or a roof....

TimP said...

In France (En Francois?) we have a saying, ennui? Do you know ennui? There is no word in the English language for this saying is what I'm getting at.

Anonymous said...

Thanks very much, KitKat! Sometimes our snark virtually writes itself, doesn't it?

I was reading about painter Vincent van Gogh. Is it true that he cut off his ear?

The Simpletons did take off their shoes before they jumped in the pool, right? Right?

"Sacre bleu, my clothes they are all wet. Do you mind if we go to your apartment so I can take them off and let them dry before I get into my hos . . . er, my expensive sports car to drive home?" Hugo, you sly frog.

-- S. McW.

Peggy Olson said...

Fortunately for Hugo, Dawn doesn't know how to use an online translator.

joie de vivre ==> joy of living

Dawn - what a tete a l'air!

KitKat said...

Dawn and Hugo are arrested for being dumb and disorderly, with an additional citation for wearing shoes in the pool. The Westons are evicted from Charterstone immediately.

Maggie said...

Wanders, I've learned so much about modern courtship and today's youth from listening in on Dawn and Hugo's conversation. It's helpful to see it written out completely. Please feel free to repost for the members of Charterstone still active on the dating scene. Lots of ideas for conversations starters and repartee!

A Date with Dawn and Hugo

SCENE ONE. In Hugo's hosts' Mazda Miata. Evening.
Dawn: How was your DAY, Hugo?
Hugo: I'm PAINTING my host family's house EXTERIOR, and SO FAR, SO GOOD! How about YOU, Dawn?
Dawn: Just GREAT! I was reading about writer GUY DE MAUPASSANT. Is it true he HATED the Eiffel Tower?

SCENE TWO. At Tarte de Lune. Later that night.
Dawn: I read GUY DE MAUPASSANT never ACCEPTED the Tower's presence!
Hugo: It's TRUE, Dawn. He at lunch every day at the BASE of the Eiffel Tower... because that was the ONLY place in Paris from which he could not SEE it!
Dawn: FASCINATING! How do you like your PIZZA, Hugo?
Hugo: DELICIOUS! Almost rivals a place called PIZ in Milan!
Dawn: Europeans DIDN'T corner the market on cooking, you see! AMERICANS create GOOD FOOD too!
Hugo: I admit you are RIGHT!
Dawn: Do you miss HOME much?
Hugo: Sometimes I do. There's NOTHING like PARIS. Then again, I'm here in Santa Royale with GREAT COMPANY! Do you miss your DAD?
Dawn: SOMETIMES. But he's gathering IMPORTANT INFO on survivors... and I'm getting to know OTHERS while he's away!

SCENE THREE. Back in the Miata. Same night.
Dawn: What are you doing TOMORROW, Hugo? AFTER painting your hosts' house?
Hugo: Spending it with YOU, Dawn!
Dawn: Do you want to go to the BEACH? There are some EXCELLENT restaurants on the pier!
Hugo: SOUNDS GOOD! We can visit the BEACH, then EAT at one of those places!

SCENE FOUR. Back at Charterstone. Same night. Full moon.
Hugo: In France we have a saying, "JOIE DE VIVRE"... which actually DOESN'T EXIST in the English lanugage!
Dawn: I had a NICE TIME tonight, Hugo.
Hugo: AS DID I, Dawn. The PIZZA was very good... and so was being with YOU!
Dawn: I look FORWARD to seeing you tomorrow!
Hugo: After I'm done PAINTING for the day, I'll pick you up and we'll go to the BEACH!
Dawn: I can't WAIT to go SWIMMING! It's one of my FAVORITE pastimes!
Hugo: ME TOO! So why WAIT?
Dawn and Hugo: HA HA HA!


Anonymous said...

ummmm; cell phones?

Anonymous said...

It's hot and humid. I'm cranky and I want my secret message!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Tuesday: Hey, where is everybody? Wanders? Nance? Meg? Has this story or the heat killed you guys?

Tuesday: Ah, "toujours amour toujours" or as Hugo would say: "Which does actually exist in ze English language."

Dawn moves fast into yet another relationship. I wonder what defect Frenchy has. Dawn and Mary will cure him and he will move on into the "characters we'll never see again" room.

I hope someone called the Santa Royal PD on these two rude noisemakers.

Chester the Dog said...


Anonymous said...

And she's off on the Voyage to Heartbreak! That was quick.

They're sunk in the dark, murky waters of the black lagoon -- an ominous . . . uh, omen if I've ever seen one.

Or maybe that's just an oil slick caused by all the product in their hair. Mr. Allora will not be pleased.

-- Scottie McW.

LouiseF said...

If Hugo figures Dawn is his ticket to US citizenship, he's in for a surprise. The word is that the US is about to put tariffs on French wine. I doubt scatterbrained, French exchange student house painters will be welcomed much either. TRhanks, Scottie McW for a coffee-snorting laugh about the "product" in the pool...I am surprised how rough those waves are for our happy couple..

meg said...

History will repeat itself. What happened to Wilbur’s sweetheart the last time he was out there harassing survivors of something? Yup, that’s right, she fell in love with a younger man. Dawn, unless Hugo is allergic to les chats, votre romance est condamne. (Translation: you’re screwed, and you’ll be singing Your Cheatin’ Coeur un bar karaoke.).