Monday, August 12, 2019

Mary Worth 3175

How to Paint a House

(in France)

by Victor Hugo

1) Lean wooden ladder against wall that you want to paint.

2) Roll a paint roller over the wall.

3) Fin.

But June does draw legs well.


Anonymous said...

Dawn has chosen a particularly dangerous spot to spout her rhyming compliments... let's hope Hugo's footing on this precarious-looking ladder is more balanced than his opinions of Americans!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

So much going on here:

1) Why doesn't Dawn cast a shadow? Is she a vampire?
2) Why is Victor Hugo's shadow not in line with him? Could that be Dawen's shadow? If so, that would make Hugo a vampire as well.
3) Why is he painting that house hideous shade of purple? Also, why is EVERYTHING purple in Worthverse?
4) Wait until le famille d'accueil find out that he painted their stucco side as well. L'hilarité s'ensuit.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

BTW Wanders, love the secret message and the painting instructions per Victor Hugo. (I wonder if he hated the Eiffel Tower as well? Oh wait, he died before it was constructed, but DOn't let Dawn know.)

MDMaryTed said...

I see a roller but no paint can or tray. Is this Dawn's way of keeping Hugo in the US longer? Hiding the paint so he can't finish?

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"From The Podcast French By And For Dummies".

Sure help?
No. My. Yours.
Great...and looking fine!
Je fais de mon mieux! Best!

RobC said... he wearing big fuzzy slippers?

Hat tip to Bregman for the Ernie Bushmilleresque three bushes!

fauxprof said...

Note to Hugo’s host family. You might want to check your homeowner insurance policy, since you’ve got an unlicensed and probably uninsured guy painting your house under less than safe conditions. Plus, his student visa likely doesn’t cover doing this kind of job. Basically, if he so much as skins his pretty knee, you are screwed!

Chester the Dog said...

"Mary, these tuna sandwiches are great, whats in them?"

"Uhhh, tuna?"

Did the hosts ASK him to paint their house? Or did Frenchy just take this on himself? Very odd...

KitKat said...

Home runs by all of you today! I chortled at your secret message, Wanders, and Monsieur Hugo’s how-to-paint instructions.

@Nance, I don’t know how you do it. I bow before you!

Maybe June’s doing a “what’s wrong with this picture?” theme today. What a bonanza! I’ve never seen someone paint a house exterior with a roller, so I googled it. The consensus is a brush is best, and a sprayer can be used in some situations.

I also wondered about the absence of a paint tray. This the French method....

Anonymous said...

There is absolutely no difference in color on that wall. So he must be using invisible paint from his invisible pan.

On the other hand, he's got paint spattered all over the shoulders of his tee shirt in a manner that doesn't look one bit real. How did he do that?

Meanwhile, Dawn's appetite for beefcake reminds me of Dave.

-- Scottie McW.

Downpuppy said...

It's all about foundations today. Hugo's shoes, and the way the paint goes straight down into le gras. Things are different in Santa Royale.

Anonymous said...

Dawn has finally found her calling - garden gnome.

LouiseF said...

Dawn is either practicing her best yoga "easy" pose or reprising her version of the painting "Christina's World". I'm partial to the second, because Dawn seems to be immobile and dazzled at the sight of Hugo's butt.

Anonymous said...

I wonder if Hugo is a registered calf donor.
- Noreen

KitKat said...

@Scottie McW., when our sons were very little and we were visiting out-of-town family, my cousin's husband let let boys "paint" the patio with a pail of water and paint brushes. The boys were fascinated and had a wonderful time "painting." So, maybe that's what Hugo is doing.

Anonymous said...


Ha haaaa, that's it! Hugo is painting in water "colors." In other words, he's simply rinsing down the house with water and will fool his host family into thinking he painted it. That way he can use the money they gave him for paint to take Dawn back to the fabulous Bum Boat.

The guy's got a real future in the exciting, high-powered field of scamming.

-- S. McW.

Michael Beaumier said...

Oh yes. Santa Royale used to be the kind of funky-fresh-cool community where people would paint their houses purple and spend their days surfing, where organic food co-ops and galleries dedicated to radical feminist art as expressed through driftwood thrived. And then it was gone. Some says it happened shortly after a particular resident moved into Charterhouse — someone who’s buzz was everyone else’s harsh — but who could say for sure?

Garnet said...

I really think Dawn's problem here will work itself out. After her initial infatuation wears off, she'll realize how annoying Hugo is and will be glad when he leaves.

I wonder if he really is a foreign exchange student. He could just be some regular American dude living in his parent's basement pretending to be French so he can impress dumb American girls. His level of French appears to be at about my level, and all I did was take French in high school.

It looks like a lot of this house is mostly stone siding...? Realistically, how long does it take to paint part of a house? Maybe Hugo is a bit 'touched' in the head and his parents are letting him "paint" the house (with water) to keep him busy? They really should supervise better - that ladder doesn't look safe.

Anonymous said...

Garnet said...
"I wonder if he really is a foreign exchange student. He could just be some regular American dude living in his parent's basement pretending to be French so he can impress dumb American girls. His level of French appears to be at about my level, and all I did was take French in high school."

Yes, if we hadn’t JUST had a storyline about a male suitor who turns out to be an impostor, my money would be on an eventual revelation that Hugo isn’t French at all, he’s just some American kid who enjoys pretending to be French, sort of like the guy in _Breaking Away_. Certainly if this were set in a slightly more realistic universe, that would be a more natural explanation of his constantly talking about how magnifique Frrrrennnnsh culture is and his habit of peppering his otherwise totally fluent English with bits of extremely simple French. But in the Worthiverse, where people paint exterior walls using the method illustrated in today’s comic, maybe that is a reasonable portrayal of how genuine French people actually do behave.