You’ll remember that I long ago predicted this whole Hugo thing would result in a Cosette-styled unwanted pregnancy. I know you can’t get pregnant “doing long distance,” but we don’t know what happened after Hugo returned from the airport. Mary’s so happy she’s made a cake to celebrate, instead of muffins to mourn.
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Oh, yes, “Love wins”. Sheesh. He’ll text her a couple of times, claim that he’s got a weak internet connection and Skype won’t work. Then he’ll ghost her. (If that’s a cake, Wanders, it’s lumpier than normal. Maybe it’s Mary’s famous kelk and salmon Fancy Feast casserole.)
Wanders, are you sure that's a cake. It looks like Apple Brown Betty (or in Mary's case Splak Brown Betty.)
Dawn is so giddy over the fact that Hugo is going to Skype and email and call long distance. The reality is that his flight was delayed one day and he was too cheap to spring for a hotel, so he crash landed at Dawn's place for a quick meal, shower and whatever. He would have told her anything to do that. Dawn is so dense. Expect that when Hugo never calls, we'll see the non-stop crying jag again.
Mary's platitude for some reason annoyed me. Has she listened to the Carrie Underwood song with the same name or the book by Rob Bell that denies the core tenets Christianity? (I think the later, since Mary is the Bride of Satan.) I think I'm annoyed because she's throwing out these dumb platitudes with no thought behind them. It's like she says anything that pops into her empty head.
I'd steer clear of whatever that baked thing is - there's a banshee emanating from it.
I wonder if Mary is as bored with Dawn as the rest of us are, and "Love wins!" is her substitute for "Whatever...." From this point on, Hugo will become a Worthiverse nonentity. Every five months or so, Dawn will appear, Mary will ask "How are things with you and Hugo?", Dawn will say "Great!" and the subject will be dropped until the next time.
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"And Down The Stretch It's--".
Never left...
Delayed,
Long distance!
Love wins!
Maybe it’s Ritz Mock Apple Pie!
Getting a little tired of Mary’s yellow disc earrings. Maybe they allow for random interchangeable insertion of these images into any old storyline?
@KitKat - Ha! try substituting “whatever” for ANY of Mary’s lines, it works!
-Noreen
Wow - that's the biggest salmon square ever!
Hugo will "do" long-distance for the length of time it takes him to find and press the BLOCK THIS CALLER button.
Dawn will switch her major at SRCC from Underwater Bird Calling to 18th Century French Literature and invent a reason to study in France. Perhaps that will keep her out of our hair for a while, just as her "class" in Beautiful Italy with Harlan Yogateacher/Renaissance Man did last year.
Again, there's no point in "doing long distance" if you don't plan to meet in person and canoodle fairly regularly. Otherwise, you're just the 21st century's equivalent of pen pals. I don't think darling schrunchie pet cabbage realizes that.
Oh well, let's hope we're onto the next lame story arc so we can have something else to snark on.
-- Scottie McW.
The great news here is that Dawn is "off the market" - at least until she meets "Hot New Student" on campus. (Is this just a setup for more angst-ridden story arcs?)
I met my wife while we both had jobs requiring 100% travel.
We did "long distance" for two years before the wedding, and six months afterward until we started living together.... for 31 years and counting.
Love DOES win - but not the way Dawn does it!
It occurred to me yesterday that the cancelled flight (or rescheduled?) gave Hugo the perfect opportunity to "take advantage" of Dawn, especially after he agreed to "do the long distance". But Wanders, I'm having difficulty imagining Moy tackling pregnancy. Unwed motherhood? Abortion? Adoption? Can't see any of this handled in this strip. For one thing, it would be interesting.
I think there may have been an “unwed mother” story many years ago, but I can’t say for sure. Do any of you other ‘mature’ readers remember?
By googling unwed mother Mary Worth, I got a lotta things about the Virgin Mary! And a single sentence about Mary Worth: “News is made when Mary Worth finally does the unwed-mother story”. So, Dawn, there is precedent for you to ‘get in trouble.’
Dawn, don't forget to show Mary your "shell on a string". Love wins!
And in the ‘Old Gray Lady’ about the old gray lady:
https://www.nytimes.com/1976/09/30/archives/mary-worth-on-teenage-pregnancy.html
My work here is done...
Except, on June 28, 2012 (Mary Worth 1336) fauxprof, Maude Findlay, and heydave natter away about Dawn’s possible pregnancy.
Now I must go and do something totally unimportant.
Love wins! Or, you know, lust. But whatever! We have a winner! But hold onto your bingo cards!
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