Tuesday, March 17, 2020

Mary Worth 3312

As the newbie, I keep getting assigned to greet the coronavirus patients.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...


"Yeah, newbies are assigned all the dirty work. For example, they make me babysit some meddlesome old bat who volunteers here. Half of my job is to prevent her from doing any damage. So I make up fake duties for her to keep her, and me, out of trouble. It's a pain."

-- Scottie McW.

KitKat said...

"You look great! Just like Harpo Marx! My father told me about him - he's so corny!"

Tomorrow: Mary climbs into the tree to peer into Joe's Cafe.

Michael Beaumier said...

Big hug to Jared! Now go scrub out those toilets.

Hey — because I excel at stating the obvious — stay well, Wanders and Mrs. Wanders, and all the fine commentators here. I need you.

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"It's Better To Look Great Than To Pull Your Own Weight".

Day?
Good. Newbie...
Pull weight.
Young!
Great...Doing!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I'm sorry, but I thought Jared with coronavirus patients was funny. If anyone deserves t, it's these two dweebs.

Dawn looks absolutely cross-eyed with glee with how Jared looks. Are we missing something here? I don't know how old Jared is, but he's certainly not Benjamin Button.

Ugh, I hate this story line and I hate Jared and Dawn. Can we move on to something else, like Wilbur fighting over some toilet paper with Hanna Dingdon at Food Team?

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

@kitkat, laughed so hard about the Harpo Marx reference, I started choking...now I'm scared. Stay safe everyone. We need the laughs.

Gina said...

Well played, Wanders, well played.

doug said...

Is Dawn on something? In panel two she looks like she just took a lot of LSD.

meg said...

LOCKDOWN: SANTA ROYALE

After a restless night, Mary oversleeps. ‘ Goodness me! It’s 5:30! Where did the morning go?’ She flings her mauve candlewick counterpane aside, dons her lavender chenille dressing gown (no real lady would call it a bathrobe), firmly grasps her bullhorn (this is not a job for a mere megaphone), and strides purposefully out onto her balcony.

GOOOOD MORNIIIING, CHARTERSTONE! ARE YOU READY TO ROCK??!!

And so began Mary’s newest mission- to cheer up the quarantined residents of her neighborhood.

“I’ll start off with a little number you all know- join right in, don’t be shy!

Warden threw a party at the county jail, the prison band was there and they began to wail;
The drummer boy from Illinois went crash, boom, bang, the whole rhythm section was the Purple Gang.
Let’s Rock! Everybody, let’s rock.”

From Dawn’s window:
“Mary, do you know my father’s asleep upstairs?”

“No, dear, but if you’ll hum a few bars, I’ll fake it...Oh...Is he sleeping in Estelle’s condo? How vulgar.”

From Estelle’s balcony (which is where she stores her Mighty Wurlitzer):
“Come on baby, light my fire, Try to set the night on fi-yah!”
“MEEEE-YOWWWWW!”
(Well, if Wilbur was asleep earlier, he certainly isn’t now, thinks Mary. Who knew he was a basso profundo?)

From the Cameron patio:
“For Bobby Burns’ sake, auld hen, can ye nae let a hard workin’ man hae a wee bevvy in peace? @#&$*%!”
“Wilbur! Your high notes shattered my little gray animals!”

From Mr. Allora’s penthouse veranda:
“They call my missus La Bamba! La la Bamba!”

From Jeff’s co op apartment:

“Mary, it’s Jeff...Jeff Corey, dammit! What’s going on over there? I was just having a cup of Sanka, and reading the Grit Newspaper...what? Yes, they still deliver Grit to my doorstep. And I was listening to the police scanner, and they said there was some sort of disturbance over there, and Mary? Mary? Can you hear me?”

Mary: “You’ll never take me alive, copper! I know people.”

Anonymous said...


Ha haaa! Meg, you're a riot!

-- S. McW.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

@meg: Bravo!

meg said...

Mary’s favorite song is actually Ave Maria.

KitKat said...

@meg, you're on an inspired roll!

LouiseF said...

Thank you, everyone! Laughing took my headache away.

LouiseF said...

What are these two doing eating in a restaurant?! KM needs to step up and get with the COVID-19 program. Dawn and Jared need to be Skyping or Facetiming or whatever people do today to stay in touch during the Time of Plague. Maybe Dawn is hoping she gets a "Shelter in Place" order and doesn't have to go home to Wilbur and those Charterstone folks meg pointed out are under lockdown.

meg said...

Hey, Jared?

Mark Zuckerberg called. He wants his hoodie back. And his nose, too.

KitKat said...

Wednesday
Why is Dawn so tired? Attending class and doing assignments shouldn’t be so taxing. Maybe she should seek medical attention. If only she knew someone in the medical field who could direct her...

Judging by other comic strips, I’m guessing that strips are submitted for publication about two weeks ahead of time. If that’s the case, KM should soon be clued in about the current pandemic situation. It’s probably a moot point; we all know that the Worthiverse and Santa Royale exist in the Non-Reality Bubble, where 147-year-old Mary traipses around a hospital, Hugo and friends traipse around Gay Paree, and the Dweeb Couple constantly dines our.

KitKat said...

Dines out, not our - argh!