Saturday, April 18, 2020

Mary Worth 3343

Definitely not the cheapest show in town.

Mrs. Wanders and I went to see Hamilton in Philadelphia last fall. I felt no need to compare it to other shows. We loved it even though our back-of-the-house seats were pretty pricey. But we had this crazy experience. The show started, and this group of about eight women sitting behind us kept talking, and it was distracting. They weren't directly behind us, they were behind the couple to my right, and the women were sitting four-and-four, four people on the row behind us, and four behind them. They'd clearly gone for drinks and were feeling pretty relaxed. One lady kept asking everyone in her group what the actors were saying, and I thought, if you'd stop talking and listen you could understand. It seemed like they had no idea what they were attending, and I started to believe they'd won their tickets on a radio contest. At one point, one of them started playing a video on her phone, but pretty quickly turned off the sound. Still! I turned to give them the stink eye once or twice, but to no avail.

When the lights came up for intermission, the lady sitting next to me turned to me and looked at me as if to say, "Help." I said, "Are they bothering you as much as they are bothering us?" She said she had kept turning around, and even asked them to be quiet, to no avail. That's when I took action, not for me, but for the couple sitting directly in front of them. I stood up, looked at the group and said in my most intensely restrained Dad voice, "You Have Got To Stop Talking During the Performance. It is Rude and ruining the show for everyone else." They all froze and stared at me, and then all of them got really quiet, and some were even embarrassed. The others around us were clearly on my side. I sat down, and the husband of the woman next to me leaned over and said, "If you want to do that during the second act, I've got your back."

But it was completely quiet behind us during the last half. I turned around to discover eight empty seats.

Folks, even if your tickets are free, please don't talk during live performances. It is incredibly rude. Also, don't compare it to French cabaret. It isn't fair, since nothing can compare to French cabaret.

23 comments:

Sharon said...

Bravo, Wanders! Thank you for your ovation-worthy deed.

As for these two hapless souls, no doubt Hugo will be telling Dawn soon that the girlfriends are better in France.

KitKat said...

Wanders, bravo to you for speaking up to those rude people. (I realize calling them merely “rude” is a huge understatement - many other adjectives come to mind.) I saw “Hamilton” in July 2018. My expectations were so high that I worried that it might not live up to them. Those high expectations were surpassed - I could barely walk out of the theater.

Now, back to the Worthiverse:

1. How did Dopey Dawn and Insufferable Hugo score tickets to “Hamilton”? Don’t tell me Dawn was lucky enough to win the $10 ticket lottery.

2. Were no tickets available for “Pork Chops and Acrobats”? You can’t tell me anything in Paris compares to that!

3. The Trip Advisor rating for the Moulin Rouge is four stars. Sorry, Hugo.

4. The guy to Dawn’s right looks like Joel Grey If Joel Grey was 15 years younger and 20 pounds heavier.

Anonymous said...

Yes, having Hugo compare Hamilton to the Moulin Rouge, I think we can safely assume that KM has seen neither.

Hugo: As much as I love the apples in NY, they cannot compare with the oranges in Paris!

HelenClark

KitKat said...

I forgot to add #5:
Hugo: “Lafayette’s French accent was effroyable! My French accent when I am speaking English is much better.”

Anonymous said...


Houston, the Clarity has landed.

Jared's becoming more attractive by the day.

Adieu, vous snobez.

-- Scottie McW.

fauxprof said...

Bravo, Wanders! That was righteous!

As to Hugo and Dawn:

1. Did Hugo put those Hamilton tickets on his expense account, or did Dawn charge them to Wilbur?
2. Is Hugo being as obnoxious as possible so Dawn will break up with him?
3. Does anyone else have the unfounded hope that she’ll get clarity on Sunday and go home to poor Jared?

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"I Know What I'd Show Him".

Loved!
Moulin Rouge!
That's!

Nance said...

Wanders, you are my kind of Hero. People like those selfish idiots are why I don't go to movies anymore.

Michael Beaumier said...

I know it isn’t appropriate going-to-the-theater attire, but next time you take in a show I hope you wear a cape. And maybe some spandex if Mrs. Wanders approves. If yer gonna act like a hero, you oughta dress like one, too.

This one time, I saw Patti LuPone bite the heads off an entire bus load of tourists from New Jersey because one of them choked on a cough drop — and this was while they were on the bus and still in New Jersey. True story

MissScarlet said...

I've seen Moulin Rouge in Paris and it was about an average Vegas showgirl performance - meaning many Vegas shows I've seen were better. But it looks like Hugo has finally demonstrated that his bias is overwhelming enough that it has finally dawned on Dawn. I hope we get to enjoy the finale more than we didn't get let in on whatever happened last night.

Downpuppy said...

What can compare to French Cabaret?
Pork Chops and Acrobats!!!
Granted, the comparison leaves French dinner theater in le dust, but zut allors!(Whatever that means)

Tim said...

Even other French people would think Hugo is insufferable

Tim said...

Dawn could stab Hugo to death and cut his body into little pieces and Hugo's last words would be that that murderers are better in France.

Little Nell said...

Wanders, you are doing the Lord's work.

Now as to the insufferable Hugo... Throughout Hugo’s stay in Santa Royale, I was convinced he wasn’t really French but would turn out to be some kind of impostor from middle America who likes to impress the ladies by pretending to be French. Since he has reappeared in the strip, he has given off that fake-Frenchman vibe more strongly than ever, with his touchstones of Frenchness always being the lamest, most clichéd French things possible, such as might occur to a fairly behind-the-times American who had never been to France. Le Moulin rouge? I don’t know anybody from France who would be caught dead at the Moulin rouge. I don’t think Hugo’s musical tastes have come up yet, but I would not be at all surprised to hear his favourite singer is Maurice Chevalier, or maybe Charles Aznavour. He is already (implausibly) named after Victor Hugo, the Kraft Dinner of classic French literature. And yet we have been shown sporadic panels of Hugo apparently in Paris, speaking in French to some blonde floozy (or at least listening to her say “D’accord!” - shades of David Sedaris), so presumably KM intends us to understand that Hugo really is genuinely from France, and we are not to be treated to the final dramatic unmasking of Huey Lambert from Pittsburgh. I can but sigh and shake my head at yet another potentially amusing plot development muffed.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

@Little Nell: Bravo! My thoughts exactly.

I have not yet been to Hamilton, but hope to go next year. (It's coming back to Boston. It was here two years ago and getting the tickets were between slim and none. I'm keeping my fingers crossed this time.) My nephew has seen it 11 times(!) Needless to say I hate him. (Just kidding! He said it's magnificent.)

Wanders, I had your experience when I went to see a Soldier's Play. These women three rows behind us were doing color commentary to the play. I said (rather loudly) "This is not an audience participation show." Unfortunately that didn't deter them. There is a scene where Blair Underwood was shirtless and they all started screaming like he was doing a strip show. I think Mr.Underwood was annoyed as well, but carried on. I was hoping he would say the same thing I said. I don't know why people can't behave at a show and let others enjoy it. I applaud you, sir.

Now, as for Hugo. When I first read this, IO thought he was talking about the musical Moulin Rouge, which I want to see if NYC ever gets back to normal and I heard is excellent. But then I realized he was blathering about the French Moulin Rouge, which is like the French version of a tacky Las Vegas show. If this was me, I would have left Hugo and the weird big nose guy standing in the lobby and have taken a plane back home. How do you compare Hamilton to some Las Vegas type revue? He's such an insufferable idiot. I wouldn't care if he looked like Bradly Cooper, I would take ugly Jared over this clod, but first I would tell him "If everything's so much better in France, go back there and don't let the plane door hit your butt on the way out."

But perhaps, maybe this is Hugo's subtle way to get rid of Dawn so he can be with Blondie. If so, well played Hugo, well played.

LouiseF said...

Oh, thanks, KM for hammering us poor, quarantined readers over the head with a weekly summary of what a self-satisfied clod Hugo is. If I were Dawn, I'd just be mad I spent so much $$ on a trip where I was clearly chopped liver to Hugo's francophile stance. She'll be on a plane tomorrow with a floating heard of Jared, along with a little heart.

Anonymous said...

LouiseF - Before Dawn gets on that plane, will she happen to walk by the "I've Lost Everything But My Faith" homeless guy and drop her pink shell necklace into his hat?

HelenClark

KitKat said...

Hey Dawn, you forgot to add “insufferably insulting” to “handsome and sophisticated.”

LouuseF, I doubt Dawn spent any of her money on this trip. It’s likely Wilbur gives her unlimited dollars to spend on whatever her little heart desires. He never seems to have any financial concerns at all, even after he blew 20K on the emerald ring for his erstwhile “amor.” “Survivor Stories” must be highly lucrative.

If a floating head of Jared doesn’t appear this week, I’ll eat my baseball cap (just not the one I’ll be wearing a lot because it’s been over six weeks since my last hair appointment, with no relief in sight).

Garnet said...

Sunday: Why doesn't Dawn just ditch Hugo and enjoy the rest of her time in New York? Also, I don't think Hugo is sophisticated so much as he's just obnoxious. Of course a Broadway Musical that tells a story is nothing like a Moulin Rouge show. They are literally different things.

Anonymous said...


Wow, Hugo said something relatively nice about New York without the usual qualifier. He must be getting bored.

-- S. McW.

Downpuppy said...

In the entire Sunday recap, Dawn looks at Hugo once, which is 1 more time than Hugo looks at Dawn.

Chester the Dog said...

How did Dawn get tickets to Hamilton? We know Hugo would never get them, since the story is about flawed American history. I am sure Hugo would have enjoyed Jersey Boys even more.

Hugo reminds me of Aggie from the Pax Wellness Center, a little too much into themselves.

Gina said...

Good for you, Wanders! I will never understand the mentality of those who go to shows or movies just to sit there and yammer their heads off. I've seen it many a time (and rebuked it a few times myself), but I don't understand it.