This image perfectly depicts my feelings when Mrs.-Wanders-To-Be was showing "Donald" around Cincinnati all week. Of course, it could just be the combination of chips and F-Up soda pop that's making him so miserable.
But here's what I did when Donald finally left. He made the mistake of leaving the day before Mrs. Wanders' birthday. So bright and early the next morning, say about 6:30 AM, I brought birthday breakfast to her apartment. I had told my friend Matt what I was planning and he said, "I don't think you should do it, Wes." I said, "Matt. This is who I am. I do stuff like this. If she doesn't like it, then maybe it isn't meant to be." It turned out, Matt was partly right. I have since learned that Mrs. Wanders is NOT a morning person. The fact that my early arrival did not end it right there was a true test of love's limits. However, she let me in. My heart sank a little as I saw all these flowers, stuffed animals and boxes of candy that Donald had given her.
I fixed frozen Eggo waffles in her toaster oven, and I gave her a present. It was a shoe box, and inside the box were dozens of little toys from cereal boxes I'd been saving for the last year or two. Whenever I'd get a toy in a cereal box, I'd just toss it in the box up on the top shelf of my pantry and forget about it. I decided I would give it to her, but also in the box was a pair of earrings that I picked out for her that she adored. They weren't expensive but they were exactly her style, and she still wears them.
Anyway, things worked out for me, and I can only hope that they work out just as well for Jared. But he'll have to dump Dawn before he has any chance at real happiness.
19 comments:
So Dawn can video-chat with Hugo overseas, but she can't even lob Jared a phone call? Or even a text? Real considerate.
BTW, for a health care professional, Jared's diet isn't very good. Not that mine was any better at that age.
Man, he's got a face that a mother would have trouble loving. And apparently he has no friends. He's kind of a young Wilbur.
-- Scottie
Wanders, I enjoyed the next chapter in the Donald story. You arriving at 6:30 a.m. with frozen waffles must be an unforgettable moment for Mrs. Wanders, and she has the earrings to prove it. What an endearing episode! What happened to the cereal toys? That collection might fetch a nice appraisal on the Antiques Roadshow.
Back to today in the Worthiverse:
1. Whoever Dawn’s waving at, it doesn’t appear to be Hugo.
2. KM hasn’t given Nance much material for the BFH title.
3. Jared’s physician assistant studies must have skipped nutrition. His eating habits are terrible.
4. It’s May 4th, so why isn’t Jared celebrating Star Wars Day?
5. Time for a floating head of Jared is rapidly expiring.
Jared is called into the office of The Director of Nursing.
DoN: I’m afraid we’re going to have to insist you wear a mask around your patients, Jared.
Jared: Why? Because of the coronavirus?
DoN: ah... Nope.
HelenClark
When I read Jared's comment to himself, I was struck by how much he looks like Peter Frampton singing "Do You Feel Like I (we) do?" In fact, If he just puts that song on repeat, at 14 minutes a shot(!)), he will only have to listen to it about 16 times by the time Dawn gets back to Santa Royale.
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"Reflections On A Chicken Nugget".
(Feel?)
@Wanders--I'm not a breakfast eater; never have been. I am, however, easily swayed by a shoebox full of fun tchotchkes. I wouldn't even have needed the earrings. Nice job!
Dear Wanders, I hope you give us more of these delightful chapters in the story of your courtship of Mrs Wanders, which is certainly vastly more interesting than the current _MW_ storyline. I wish that were higher praise, but oh well...
A propos of nothing: something about the face of that blond lady sitting in the background of Jared's panel makes me think she has strayed in from _Funky Winkerbean_. Am I just imagining it?
P.S. I only noticed her because I was trying to avoid looking directly at Jared's ugly fish lips.
P.P.S. - re: KitKat's point 5: It's increasingly obvious that Jared's head couldn't float if it tried. I don't think anyone is wishing for la tête flottante de la personne jaredesque at this point.
June has gone back to drawing Jared ugly after making him look pretty normal in the last dining-out-with-Dawn scene. Once he dumps Dawn, though, I think he may find his ideal mate in the Winkerbean immigrant pointed out by Little Nell.
I wonder if our week of suffering through Mary's muffins and platitudes with Dawn and then summarizing the story for Toby will include a cheesy quote from someone about beauty being skin deep?
I’d like to point out that Jared has LETTUCE on his sandwich, which is hard to see because ol’ Doc Grayhair seems to be sitting on it.
Wanders,
What a nice coda to the Donald story. Thank you for sharing.
As to Dawn, I must conclude her only true love is Dawn. Every other person in her orbit is just drama material.
Dawn apparently likes Jared enough that she dumped Hugo for him...and she can't even send him a text? I can see why she's been in college for a decade and hasn't gotten anywhere.
TUESDAY
Panel 1: Unlike everywhere else, physician assistants at Northview Hospital are low-level workers who aren’t permitted to have any contact with patients whatsoever. They ARE allowed to stack lunchroom trays.
Panel 2: Dawn boarding a plane is the dullest sight imaginable, even with a Wilbur lookalike scouting out the seats.[yawn]
TUESDAY:
OMG, Jared is such a sad sack. He's been all mopey and feeling sorry for himself. Why wouldn't you try to text the person you claim to love or send an email. Jared fits right in with the Weston family, mopey, clueless, loathsome and dull.
As Dawn gets on the plane, we see that Wilbur is on the plane as well. (The bald guy in the back getting ready to sit down.) Perhaps he made a quick pit stop to see Fabiana. I know Paris is in a different continent, but if KM can ignore that NY is a ghost town now, we can suspend belief that a plane can start in South America and make a pit stop in Europe.
I was hoping for a floating Jared head.
Can Jared can possibly get any more uglier?
Poor Jared.. For some reason, I thought those trays were x-ray panels and that he is a technician, which would make his status rise to where he and Dawn might make a living together, although heaven knows what profession Dawn would ever enter. So far, she's the quintessential professional student. Jared at least appears to support himself, even if all he's doing is a half-baked job of gathering up cafeteria trays. He's so preoccupied with Dawn's absence, those trays are probably awash in his tears.
Dawn futilely scans the overhead compartment looking for her row number, but I guess you can sit wherever you want. Moreover, those are the biggest airplane windows I've ever seen, and the rows are only two seats across. What kind of fantasy airline is this? I suppose they'll be serving steak, baked potato, and honey-roasted squash for lunch.
The fact that Moy didn't jump right ahead to Dawn and Jared's joyful reunion at Santa Royale Generic Airport means only one thing: something unexpected is going to happen on this flight -- something that will drag this interminable story line out for another 10 days minimum. There could be a safety incident, or it could be something as simple as Dawn falling deeply and madly for some rando in the next seat.
Whatever it is, I don't like the looks of it. No, I don't like the looks of it at all.
-- Scottie
Dawn is looking to make sure there’s room for a floating head above her.
Post a Comment