When I read today's Mary Worth, I was wondering if Tommy is auditioning for The Santa Royale Community Theater production of Guys and Dolls.
All chicks DO want to get married, except to a slacker like you who thinks stocking cans in a supermarket is a great job, who has no other goals except maybe do sales courses at SRCC, wears his hair like a 1960s stoner and calls women babe and chicks. Nope Tommy, "chicks" don't want YOU.
I think this turn of events calls for a contest. Anyone remember the contest Wanders ran back in the Dr Adrian days? I think we were supposed to bet on how long her husband would be hospitalized or something like that. KitKat will remember.
Anyway, anyone care to guess on what date we'll see Tommy taking his first hit?
Well, Tommy Beedie! Here's what happens when you assume. You make an.... Oh, you know where this is going. And, not surprising, he isn't really listening to Brandy. She didn't say she didn't want to get married. Tommy has just had his world rocked by the notion that "all chicks" might not be thrilled to jump into matrimony with a beau who most likely has a felony on his record and who isn't likely to be hired for any job above gas station manager for the foreseeable future. I predict a pleasant encounter with Mary (and maybe Toby as wing woman) and a first-rate meddling session where Mary counsels Tommy on the Ways of Love.
Don’t you understand? If Tommy doesn’t get married within the next 24 hours, the Nigerian prince won’t even give back the deposit!
You know Tommy, get-rich-quick schemes involving getting married usually work better on the French Riviera, with extremely dumb madcap heiresses, and only if you’re David Niven. And sir, you can’t even be drawn like David Niven.
Babe. Chicks. It’s not you, it’s me. What century are we inhabiting? Maybe the Worthiverse exists in a time warp, which is why there’s no COVID, drought or wildfires.
Looks like we'll be having the Tommy Melt for our main course.
He'll probably become verbally abusive, just like Babe's father. Babe will be horrified and tell him she never wants to see him again. Ever. Then she'll report his abusiveness to the boss at Freda's, and Tommy will be out on #MeToo Street.
Drugs beckon. Iris happens to notice a month later, and she runs to Mary for help. Mary is initially receptive, but then Toby talks her out of it.
Tommy winds up in Jared's ward. Jared, having just been dumped by Dawn, is also despondent. He and Tommy commiserate and get high on controlled substances.
Snooping around the pharmacy on her volunteer shift, Mary discovers that the drugs are missing. She tells Jeff. Jeff calls the authorities, and Tommy and Jared are arrested. Babe gets wind of the bust and hurries to the hospital. There she meets a handsome single doctor. She then forgets why she came.
@fauxprof, there are no plates left on the table either, just the ever-replenishing tray o’ greasy onion rings. Apparently that mountain of a waitress (check out those arms!) removed the plates when Chicky Babe and Tommy finished their burgers. And was that massive slice of cake intended to celebrate the engagement gone wrong?
@Scottie McW., if only, if only! Alas, KM is incapable of such dramatic heights.
17 comments:
“I thought all chicks wanted to get married ... I just don’t understand broads like you.”
Iris must be so proud of what she has raised.
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"Two People Were Found By Police After Hours In A Marijuana Dispensary; This Is Their Statement".
I'm?
No, I'm...you.
Enjoy?
All...
LOL Nance. Home run as usual.
When I read today's Mary Worth, I was wondering if Tommy is auditioning for The Santa Royale Community Theater production of Guys and Dolls.
All chicks DO want to get married, except to a slacker like you who thinks stocking cans in a supermarket is a great job, who has no other goals except maybe do sales courses at SRCC, wears his hair like a 1960s stoner and calls women babe and chicks. Nope Tommy, "chicks" don't want YOU.
Mayday! Mayday! We have a problem! Going down! Eeeeeeeooooooooooooooow! CRASH!
Kit Kat, how about a quote from Weird Al's "UHF"?
Pamela Finklestein: “'Broads don't belong in broadcasting'?! Is that the kind of professional courtesy you teach your news department?”
M.J. Fletcher: Why, that's just terrible. I don't know how many times I've told those boys...never call chicks ”broads.”
I think this turn of events calls for a contest. Anyone remember the contest Wanders ran back in the Dr Adrian days? I think we were supposed to bet on how long her husband would be hospitalized or something like that. KitKat will remember.
Anyway, anyone care to guess on what date we'll see Tommy taking his first hit?
HelenClark
Shut it down now, we've got our Panel of the Year.
(Nice work, Nance!)
Well, Tommy Beedie! Here's what happens when you assume. You make an.... Oh, you know where this is going. And, not surprising, he isn't really listening to Brandy. She didn't say she didn't want to get married. Tommy has just had his world rocked by the notion that "all chicks" might not be thrilled to jump into matrimony with a beau who most likely has a felony on his record and who isn't likely to be hired for any job above gas station manager for the foreseeable future. I predict a pleasant encounter with Mary (and maybe Toby as wing woman) and a first-rate meddling session where Mary counsels Tommy on the Ways of Love.
Don’t you understand? If Tommy doesn’t get married within the next 24 hours, the Nigerian prince won’t even give back the deposit!
You know Tommy, get-rich-quick schemes involving getting married usually work better on the French Riviera, with extremely dumb madcap heiresses, and only if you’re David Niven. And sir, you can’t even be drawn like David Niven.
@Gina and @Regina Wolfe-Parks--Thank you. I have to admit that it was a toughie today.
With Tommy's aquiline profile and Karen Moy's timeless prose, this panel is a Pop Art masterpiece. Kudos, June.
Chicks! Babe was bad enough! Chicks! What year/century is this?! Chicks!
FRIDAY
Babe. Chicks. It’s not you, it’s me. What century are we inhabiting? Maybe the Worthiverse exists in a time warp, which is why there’s no COVID, drought or wildfires.
Looks like we'll be having the Tommy Melt for our main course.
He'll probably become verbally abusive, just like Babe's father. Babe will be horrified and tell him she never wants to see him again. Ever. Then she'll report his abusiveness to the boss at Freda's, and Tommy will be out on #MeToo Street.
Drugs beckon. Iris happens to notice a month later, and she runs to Mary for help. Mary is initially receptive, but then Toby talks her out of it.
Tommy winds up in Jared's ward. Jared, having just been dumped by Dawn, is also despondent. He and Tommy commiserate and get high on controlled substances.
Snooping around the pharmacy on her volunteer shift, Mary discovers that the drugs are missing. She tells Jeff. Jeff calls the authorities, and Tommy and Jared are arrested. Babe gets wind of the bust and hurries to the hospital. There she meets a handsome single doctor. She then forgets why she came.
-- Scottie McW.
@fauxprof, there are no plates left on the table either, just the ever-replenishing tray o’ greasy onion rings. Apparently that mountain of a waitress (check out those arms!) removed the plates when Chicky Babe and Tommy finished their burgers. And was that massive slice of cake intended to celebrate the engagement gone wrong?
@Scottie McW., if only, if only! Alas, KM is incapable of such dramatic heights.
Hmm. Maybe Tommy should have used a fancier ring, like a calamari ring.
I guess I missed the memo where "babe" is no longer an acceptable term of endearment. Pretty pathetic considering I'm a millennial.
Great! Now what am I going to call my wife!
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