No, don't do that! We haven't exhausted Tommy's insecurity and sense of rejection after impulsively deciding this relationship was ready for the responsibilities and realities that come with a matrimonial contract. If Tommy wants more, babe, then give it to him. Tell him exactly why you won't marry him, and make it sting.
16 comments:
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"The Human Relationship Dynamic 101".
Love.
Too.
Love. Don't?
Change?
My wife has started singing Sonny & Cher's "I got you Babe!" all the time.
With emphasis on "BABE!"
Help!
"Please, Tommy, don't make me say it."
-- Scottie McW.
June Brigman is bored too: She recycled today’s car panel from September 23.
Gee, what woman wouldn’t want to work with Tommy all day, go to dinner at burger dives, then go home with him? Answer: Any woman with some semblance of a brain. If KM was capable of injecting some excitement into this snoozer, she could have spurned Tommy connect with bored Toby (they do have the same hair, after all). Ian’s been on what seems like a three-year sabbatical, for Pete’s sake, and Toby fills her days only with gossiping, snarking, and inhaling muffins.
Brandy, Brandy, Brandy. If you want to change the subject with your partner, one thing I have learned over the years is that you don't ask "Can we change the subject?" Instead, you suddenly shout something like, "Look! I see a peregrine falcon swooping down from that building!! Isn't it beautiful?!" or "Weren't those onion rings fabulous? I just found a recipe for homemade whole wheat pizza. Let's make that for dinner tomorrow!". Never ask and never explain. It's always trouble.
I’m glad I’m not the only one with that stupid song stuck in my head. I’ve changed it a little to make it more tolerable:
They say I’m dumb and you’re a fool
I’ve got no skills; I’m just a tool
What do I care? It’s probably true
But tough luck babe, cause baby I own you
Babe
I own you babe
I own you babe
Don’t tell me that you feel frightened
When did you get your skin lightened?
You’re hesitation makes me frown
I think I liked you more when you were brown
Babe
I own you babe
I own you babe
I can’t afford to buy you bling
You’ll have to wear this onion ring
Don’t make me mad, I won’t be myself
I’ll chuck these damn cans, right off of the shelf!
Some readers say my hair’s too long
I read it made some dude named Sampson strong
So steal some cash out of that till
We’ll grab a bite and you can pay the bill
Babe
I own you babe
I own you babe
I insist you hold my hand
Babe you’d better understand
From now on you’ll walk with me
Don’t you dare to squawk at me
Give me a big kiss goodnight
Don’t put up another fight
I own you, I won't let go
Aren’t you glad you love me so?
I own you babe
HelenClark
Yes, Anonymous, Sonny and Cher's 'I got you Babe' is rattling around in my head as well like an unwelcome guest. And now Looking Glass' lyrics too: 'Brandy, you're a fine girl, What a good wife you would be' has joined the crowd. I'm off to schedule a Led Zeppelin and Aerosmith intervention.
Brandy, what a fine girl
What a good wife you would be
But my life, my love and my lady
is am-phetamine
Do-dooda do-dooda, doo doo doo doo dooda ...
Brandy says what’s in everybody’s brains!
"I can’t afford to buy you bling
You’ll have to wear this onion ring" Helen Clark, priceless!!
NEVER ask to change the subject, it always leads to trouble...and Tommy is trouble or troubled...
Thank you, LouiseF.... and at least we have a new earworm to listen to tonight!
HelenClark
Helen Clark-
Your lyrics are perfectly on point snark!
Love the lyrics! Thank you for making me smile, I really needed that today :)
Will Tommy end up dying by skiing into a tree? Stay tuned....
Thanks, Sandi Ego and Anon 7:01! Glad I could help!
HelenClark
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