Thursday, March 11, 2021

Mary Worth 3586

Whoa, whoa, whoa... Slow down there. This is all happening so fast. Let's just take a seat and breathe... breathe... in... out... in... out... Isn't that better? I'm glad we can support each other like this through all the chaos and neck whipping twists and turns in this crazy plot.

It's been complicated, so allow me to summarize:

Back in January, Saul and Eve took their dogs for a walk on the southern section of the boardwalk.
Then a week later, they went to the mall to buy a birthday present for Saul's other friend. Eve saw a mannequin without a head and started crying a lot.
Saul wanted her to go to urgent care, but she declined although she appreciated his concern. It wasn't Saul - it was Eve.
Eve tripped and then cried again and told Saul a harrowing and lengthy story of being tripped by her angry, cruel husband.
They had lunch, and then Eve remembered, oh yeah, Max the dog saved her life several times, including taking a bullet to the neck at least once. I almost forgot about that. I was too busy living in the present.
And then Max ran away when the thunder sounded exactly like gunfire. But Greta was able to track him down to their favorite spot on earth.
Then they had lunch again.

So that's where we are right now. Any question?

18 comments:

Tim S said...

Ummm . . . Did Saul just turn into one of the munchkins from the Wizard of Oz?

Anonymous said...

I’ll admit that I have no idea how this whole comic strippery thing works. Mary Worth is the only comic I read and, like @MissScarlet up there to the right, I probably wouldn’t even read Mary if it weren’t for Wanders’ amazing blog.

That being said, it seems to me that there must be some communication between the writer and the artist before the story (?) gets put down on paper. I’m picturing KM sitting in front of June (ZOOM) and telling her what she’s got in mind. How the hell does June sit there with a straight face? How can she not fall off her chair in hysterics? All I can say is that June must have done something where she needs cash. BAD; REAL BAD.

HelenClark

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Highlighted Hot Words In The Copy For Freda's Smoked Salmon Radio Spot".

Our!
Nice!

Tim said...

I need to get this off my chest.
I'm a dog owner and I love my dog but I have never, not even once, considered my dog's tastes when making a meal. If I made it and I'm eating it she wants some.
I take it KM doesn't know any dog owners who aren't nuts.

Anonymous said...


Okay, campers, rise and shine! It's Groundhog Day!

-- Scottie McW.

LouiseF said...

Great comments, everyone! And thank you to M. Wanders for summarizing the plot. Can't believe this "story" has been going on since January.Something darn creepy about that food Eve is holding.. If those are pineapple rings (who puts pineapple on salmon?!) they also look like two creepy eyes looking up at Eve, like her awful husband Gary, back from the grave to spy on her.

KitKat said...

LouiseF, those may be lemon slices on that revolting lump o’ salmon. Yuck. I once read that the practice of serving lemon with fish started as a way to cover up the odor of old and smelly fish, not as a way to enhance the flavor. I can believe this with Eve, who’s not exactly the Barefoot Contessa. I would not accept a glass of water from her, let alone even a morsel of food.

Goodness Wanders, your summary makes it clear that all of us are either incredibly patient people or a bunch of masochists for sticking with this dreck for so long. And it’ll get even worse when Saul relates everything to Mary — egad. How many more weeks is KM going to torture us? Oh for the days of Entertainer Esme on that cruise ship, trying to break up the Hoosier Cruiser marriage!

r u ok? said...

Eve also told Saul that even though her husband was an abusive ahole he did leave her with a lot of money. So is Saul now on a gold digging expedition?

Yahoonski said...

@HelenClark: As somebody who has enjoyed this art form all his life, I beg you not to let MW be your only experience of comic strips. Certainly there are other contenders for the title of Most Boring, Slowest Moving, and Ridiculously Unrealistic strip. The current versions of "Rex Morgan, MD" and "Judge Parker" come immediately to mind as far as adventure/soap type strips. But if you read MW via Wanders' link to the "Official Mary Worth Website" (a.k.a. Comics Kingdom), you can also view some wonderful vintage strips such as "Buz Sawyer," "Rip Kirby," "The Heart of Juliet Jones," "The Phantom" and "Prince Valiant." Current versions of the latter two are also very well done. For more more lighthearted strips that are consistently good, I recommend "Monty," "Pickles," and (both in reruns now) "Calvin and Hobbes" and "Cul de Sac." And if you want to see something arguably worse than MW, check out "Six Chix" on a Tuesday.

Yahoonski said...

@HelenClark: I forgot to mention that in addition to "Cul de Sac" the late, great genius Richard Thompson also did "Richard's Poor Almanac." Both can be viewed at gocomics.com. Enjoy.

I too have always wondered how and how often KM and June communicate. And who decides which words get bolded to provide fodder for Nance? I suspect it may be June's husband, who I believe does the lettering.

Jana C.H. said...

KitKat: The story I heard about lemon on fish it that lemon juice was once believed to dissolve fish bones.
Let's hear it for urban legends. Or possibly old sea yarns.

Chester the Dog said...

Salmon, salmon and more salmon! What is KM's thing with salmon?

Anonymous said...

Eve's favorite . . .

singers: Sam & Dave

former Chief Justice: Salmon P. Chase

media franchise focusing on titular fictional characters: Sam & Max

author: Salman Rushdie

other author: Sam Mun-son

teen sitcom: Sam & Cat

comedian: Saman-tha Bee

football player: Sam Mon-tgomery

and of course, infectious disease: salmonella

Yahoonski said...

@Anonymous: Good work!

Michael Beaumier said...

Wanders, you make this plot sound a lot more exciting than it actually is. Now c’mon you guys — let’s chow down!

Anonymous said...

@Yahoonski - Wow! Thank you! That was quite the list of comics you came up with; many I've never even heard of. I guess I stopped reading comics years ago when I canceled my newspaper subscriptions. And I hesitate to mention this but I don't own a television and I don't listen to music either. Weirdo, huh?

But anyway, yeah, I will certainly check out the comic strips on your list. I only wish each had a Wanders blog associated with it. Sigh... BTW - I can now picture you as a little kid, never going anywhere without a huge stash of comic books in your backpack. Maybe even still?

HelenClark

@Anonymous at 3:24 pm - Don't forget Eve's choice in luggage: Sam-sonite!

Baffled in Buffalo said...

@HelenClark--Please try "Sally Forth"!

MDMaryTed said...

Actually, the comics are the first thing I read every morning. I used to travel a lot overseas for work (sigh...) and, before the internet (yes, I'm that old), would ask my office to send to me the Sunday comics with the next traveler. @Yahoonski, I agree, Rex Morgan and Judge Parker rank down there with the most ridiculous plots.