Monday, June 30, 2008

Mary Worth 243

"Mary Doesn't Answer Jeff's Calls
and Other Fun Facts About Mary Worth."

Mary sits on a bed.
Mary uses Liquid Pledge.
Mary has a hard mattress.
Mary's pillows don't fluff.
Mary carries a grudge.
Satan fears Mary.


Mollie said...

I was going to add "Mary's phone doesn't have a receiver," but on second thought I don't think that's a phone. I think it's a portable tape-recorder. Mary taped Jeff's pathetic answering-machine messages, and she plays them over and over to cheer her up while she waits for Ron to pick her up for their date. "Wait, wait, this is my favorite part... 'We belong together, Mary, can't you see that!' Oh, I just love the desperate edge in his voice."

spike said...

Why does Mary have to have an answering machine in both the living room and bedroom? [Or is she so afflicted with OCD that she moves the only one from room to room as she moves about?]

boojum said...


Apology accepted.

See, Mary? Is that so hard?!?

shandyowl said...

They've been through so much together but none of that matters anymore because Mary has found somebody new and exciting.

Somebody with power and influence and a magnificently coiffeured mane.

Somebody who starts fistfights with his brother in a hospital.

I for one look forward to Jeff's slide into alcoholism, losing his house and his yacht, begging for change outside the Bum Boat (will he become known as the Bum Boat Bum?) and the final indignity of sleeping on a park bench using newspapers as blankets, newspapers full of photos of Mary and Ron.

JLH said...

Oh yeah, and then the prominent councilman -- or mayor or whatever he is by then -- Ronjobdon of the mane (cared for at the best high-end salon because he's in the public eye now) will pass legislation that gives all homeless people in the city a job -- in North Korea or Baziliskistan or even Vietnam -- helping lepers and giving America a good name.

Oh my goodness, this could go on and on.

I WAS going to comment simply that the way Mary sits on her bed, and how she's dressed, just slays me. When I go into MY room to listen to a message or just for a brief stretch, I kick off my shoes and throw myself back on my bed, stretch, kick up my legs and stare up at the map of Rhode Island and the glow-in-the-dark stars on my celing. I guess if I lived whereever Mrs. Worth does, I might dress and sit more formally in the privacy of my own room. You never know in Santa Royale who might be drawing your picture.(Is it Florida or Ca;ifornia -- or Arizona? I can't rememeber.)
Okay, I've made my comment for the month. Happy July to everyone -- it's coming very soon.

Anonymous said...

A stone hard mattress for a stone faced woman with a stone cold heart.

spike said...

shandyowl: "...and featuring Dr. Jeff Corey as tne Bum Boat Bum." LOL!

Caroline said...

So ... she reacted badly to Jeff thinking she was stepping out behind his back, then ... decided to step out behind his back! Oh, the hypocrisy!

shandyowl said...

Hold your head high, Jeff Corey - better to be a bum than a tramp!